If only unattractive women are interested in me, does that mean I'm unattractive too?

Before I begin, I'd like to confirm that by 'unattractive' women, I mean to say only those women whom I don't feel attracted to, and not that they are 'ugly'.

Having gotten that out of the way, this is the thing. The women who show romantic interest in me, are almost always those whom I'm not attracted to at all. They are usually below-average looking (in my perspective, of course). Whenever I have showed interest in even remotely attractive women (not the ultra-gorgeous, model type women), they have never reciprocated.

Considering the facts, would you say that I'm pretty much unattractive myself, or perhaps among the most unattractive men in the world? I find this a bit strange because whenever I have posted my pics online, I do get rated around 7 out of 10. And even otherwise, I get told often that I'm certainly above average in terms of looks, although I may not be 'handsome'.

I welcome answers from both men and women. I'm deliberately not posting pictures, because I would prefer responses based on my description alone.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't know maybe... Or maybe you just have really high standards

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    • I have specifically mentioned that even remotely attractive women don't reciprocate my interest. So no, my standards are pretty much modest. Just being honest here.

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    • Yeah sure I don't mind lol

    • Thank you! Sending you a pm now.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah those really attractive girls probably aren't attracted to you physically or to your personality possibly. I think the girls that have shown interest in you most likely think they have a chance with you. Fortunately attractiness is fairly subjective.

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    • I have specifically mentioned that I haven't tried to go for 'really' attractive women. My standards are quite modest, because I know my limits.

      Anyway, it appears like I have to lower my standards even further, probably to consider only women who are below 5 on a scale of 10, in terms of looks.

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    • I haven't been bgle to get that 'range', unfortunately!

      It's a bit strange actually, because during my teens and early 20s, I used to be a fat slob and yet attractive girls were interested in me. In fact, my first ex was a REALLY attractive girl, and it was her who made the first move on me. But now I have shed the extra pounds, and I certainly feel more attractive. But yet I have been single for almost 4 years. Looks like there's something I'm missing here.

    • Yeah I don't understand. There are other factors I bet.

What Girls Said 5

  • First off, what is you idea of unattractive and attractive. If you could name some celebrities that you deem unattractive and some that you feel are in your range of attraction I will have a better idea of what your idea of attractive is. Secondly, I have no idea what you look like. You may have high standards or you just might need to broaden your search. Do these women you find unattractive have a snaggle tooth, overweight or obese? There are some people who have high standards and will go after someone who is quite literally out of their league. The majority of people usually tend to stay within their league. I apparently attract overweight country boys. I am not even overweight and it makes me wonder sometimes if they think I am cute enough to settle for them. I know that sounded so unbelievably harsh. I don't have any issues with country boys. However, I am not attracted to people who are overweight. I also no I have high standards, but it is not in the looks department. I am impossible to please in the love department and very picky. You could just be very picky too.

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  • Not really just as you find some of the woman not your type, others may think you aren't there type. You just have to wait till you find a girl you're physically attracted to and they reciprocate the feelings. It may take awhile cause finding a SO can be difficult. Don't worry about it too much.

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    • Valid response! And I don't suppose I have put a lot of efforts into dating over the past few years, due to career commitments and mild mental health issues.

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    • Thank you!

  • I think you've had bad luck with the girls who you asked out. Plus, just because a certain type of girl is bravely asking you out doesn't mean other girls don't find you attractive. They may just be afraid to tell you. Remember, many girls don't approach a guy they like.

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    • No, I didn't mean to say girls are 'asking me out'. As far as I know, girls don't ask a guy out unless he happens to have Hollywood actor like looks, or extreme wealth. I was just referring to them showing romantic interest ion me.

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    • Well... but isn't 'befriending a woman', usually a sure way of ending up in the dreaded 'freindzone'? Because it has been mentioned time and again that 'starting out as friends' with a woman is a very bad idea, and romantic intent needs to be made clear to her pretty early.

    • Oh yes, that's true. Don't wanna be super pals with her. I guess I used the wrong word. I meant "friendly". You want to talk to the really hot girl you just met at the park in a friendly, nice guy, "I'm not a serial killer, I swear" type of way. So you're convo should start out being very friendly and nonsexual. Once she starts laughing, isn't trying to run away from you, and doesn't look nervous in your presence, that means she trusts you to be a good, decent guy. Only takes about 1o minutes of good, light-hearted conversation. Then, go ahead and flirt or ask her out. Super hot girls you just met, you must win their trust before you win their heart. Not so attractive girls may be a little bit more open, trusting, and comfortable in your presence from the get go.

  • no, it doesn't

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  • probably...

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    • Thanks for the honest response!

What Guys Said 3

  • Pretty much

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  • What a logic. 👏

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  • Anything below 8 is average to below average to a lot of women (not all women, but that's a small minority of them).

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    • Yeah, I understand that by now.

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