Am I ugly? Do you think I'll ever find love?


Am I ugly? Do you think I'll ever find love?
I'm a very nice person and I'm very caring (or so I'm told). For some reason though guys don't like me and whenever I ask a guy out he rejects me. I was bullied since 5th grade. I know I'm fat but I want to lose weight. I am also in love with one of my guy friends but I'm too scared to tell him. I think I'll get rejected yet again cause I'm ugly. I also look like my mom and she's ugly. Why did I have to have inferior genes?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Look. This may sound cliche, but it is true. There is a guy out there for everyone. You are not ugly, and you will find love.
    Literally, the worst thing you can do right now is accept circumstances of life as unchangeable fact. Bullies are idiots, don't listen to them. I was never bullied, but rather ignored by everyone. I went through years of school without a single person knowing me. It may not be as bad as bullying, but it still messed with my self esteem. Just remember this to keep you going-- You never know what will happen in life so there is never a reason to quit working hard. Life may change for the better if you just keep trying just a little bit more.

    If you want to lose weight, I can only say to go for it! Even if is simply running around the neighborhood, anything helps! Tell your parents that you need shoes and stuff. Message me if you aren't sure how to start and I can try and walk you through it. (Haha "walk" through--- I just made an exercise pun-- oh nevermind). Anyway, exercise is a great way to boost self confidence, plus people will respect you for trying to make an active difference in your life. I have a good friend who was on the cross country team with me back in high school. He came in last every race, was pretty heavy, and fell behind everyone in every practice. Before cross country, people made jokes about him. After, people gave him mad respect for how much effort he gave. So basically, it is better to try as hard as you can, even if it feels like you are failing, then to curse at the world.

    So, time to address the point how you want to confess to a guy friend. When you confess, the important thing is being direct and having confidence. If you feel you are lacking confidence, I suggest you hold off on the confessing to him and set it as a goal. You can then be like "Once I reach ____ pounds" or I have done so-and-so, I will confess to him. That will motivate you even more and will give you confidence.

    I know that it probably seems like an impossible journey from where you stand. It is indeed not an overnight one, nor an easy one, but it can only help you. If you need help or direction, or you having self-esteem issues, just message me, and I can help you in privacy and as best as I can. (Or if you want to insult my mini novel, or disagree, or I wasn't clear).
    In case we never message or chat with each other again, I wish good luck! Stay strong! You never know what good things life has in store for the future!

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What Guys Said 16

  • You've got what you've got, don't drain yourself, don't become your worst enemy. If you wanna lose weight, then find some motivation and work out, start eating better. Gain some more confidence in yourself. Learn to love yourself, cause that's the only true love that exists.
    No, you'll probably won't find love in a relationship, cause love doesn't exist, just the one you give yourself.

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    • So I'm ugly? I knew it :(

    • I never said you were ugly. I was just trying to say that there's no point in stabbing yourself over and over again when you can't change what you are. What does it matter if you're ugly or you're beautiful? Will you stop loving yourself if you were ugly? Will you love yourself more if you were prettier? You shouldn't act superficial when it comes to self-love.

  • I think you are just over weight... Just got the gym and lose all the weight and you will start getting attention from guys easily...

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  • Dont worry about it your not ugly and you will find a guy who will love how caring you are and who will accept you the way you are

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  • Dating isn't about being nice...

    Lose the weight and you'll probably be good looking. Avoid processed foods, no soda whatsoever, no milkshakes. Eat high protein foods, like eggs and fish and meat and dairy. Also, pay attention to how much you eat and cut it down.

    Weight loss and fitness does for a woman what wearing a suit and driving a sports car does for a man.

    http://i.imgur.com/9Ve8Ic0.jpg

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    • I find the one on the left hotter. Just shows that there's different people with different taste.

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    • How much of the male population would you say @RationalMale has a foot fetish?

    • @DarkHumorRUs it doesn't mean I don't find the one on the right attractive. All I said was that I prefer the one on the left. Different strokes for different fokes.

  • I have kinda inferior genes too.
    But yeah maybe just try to lose weight and see what happens after that.

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  • you aren't ugly, just overweight. Maybe you can also get a more trendy hair cut, hair does wonders for a persons attractiveness. That's why people always say, really pretty girls would look pretty with or without hair :).

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  • You will, let me try to help cause...

    @Keyspirits
    ^^^His body is rdy baby. *Insert kissy lips and bikini emoticon*

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  • Don't overthink it - You are not ugly - You just haven't met right guy for you yet.

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  • you r not ugly.. you just need to be more sporty
    and yes you can find love. just work a little harder on yourself

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  • the weight is probably the main issue. Just work on loosing it, then start getting to work on your style, personalized to fit your personality, while still looking like you live in 2015 and not 1915, and you should be alright

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  • Those are the wrong sort of guys. Find one who likes you as you are - chances are they will value you more and treat you better than the superficial type.

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  • No, dont listen to what people say, you only need to get the right person so keep looking and dont stop

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  • yes and probably will if i can anyone can

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  • you're actually very cute

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  • You are just really fat and guys and dont liek that (same as girls with skinny and fat guys)

    Good news is fat can be lost fast if you work at it and aare very persistant.

    google calorie calculator put you age weight etc and it will tell you have many caolies to eat to lose 1 or two pounds a week. eat that ammount in clean foods. no fast food, low carbs etc

    3 just run every day for 30 minutes more if you can

    4 and most importnat lift weights (yes you heard me righ) lift weights. no it won't make you manly google girl gym workouts or something.

    Stay fat = lonely for ever

    work hard lose weight= get guys a lot of guys

    your choice and yes Looks fucking matter a lot to both men and women dont let people bullshit you

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    • How is it my overweight guy friend can get all the girls though? And he's 17 so he's not rich or anything.

  • I'm sorry there is no other way to say this but you are ugly but losing a lot of weight may significantly help you. Also some guys out there may not care as much about your looks.

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    • Being attractive is about presentation a lot of models loked ugly when thy were younger learn how to take care of yourself and your beauty will shone through.

What Girls Said 16

  • Genes aren't the only thing to blame here.
    You can simply be a better version of yourself, if you eat right, exercise, and dressing flattering according to your body type (You seem to know this already, since you mentioned weight loss).

    However, do not lose weight because you want men to find you attractive.
    Do it because you want a better version of life for yourself.
    If you lose weight to please others, you will be greatly disappointed if you continue to get rejected.
    So, definitely improve yourself because it's something you want to do.

    I don't think you are ugly.
    I see a average looking girl with potential.
    When you start taking care of your body... then you will start to feel better about yourself.

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  • This past honestly hurts my soul. You are not ugly. You are a beautiful , healthy human !!! You need to appreciate that. You are only ugly if you put ugliness into the world , which you don't if you are a nice person. I know that being rejected sucks and can feel like the end of the world but your young and you need to keep an open mind !! There is some handsome man waiting patiently to sweep you off your feet so you just need to take control of your confidence and find him.
    Also, please never call your mother ugly again. She gave you life and that is a beautiful thing

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    • I wish I wasn't alive though. Life isn't beautiful. And she is ugly and is a terrible person. She cheated on my father and left us when I was 11 years old.

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    • I honestly don't mean to sound preachy but you are a wonderful human and the world is lucky to have you. I know it can be easy to get down on yourself but life is a gift and you need to appreciate that !!

    • Sorry to barge in on a conversation like this, but I just want to say something in response to the "I'm a virgin at 19." While people and society and movies like to make you think everyone is having sex early in their teen years, the reality is different. Sure, there are many that do, but there are many that don't. Like many people at 19 haven't had a girlfriend (or boyfriend). I've seen polls on G@G plus I have a decent number of friends like that too. Don't let that keep you down! I kind of already mentioned this in my original post, but the worst thing you can do is accept circumstances as unchangeable truths. So don't say "I'm not beautiful." Trust me when I tell you that saying that will only lead you down a path of self hate and more self esteem problems where the slope is slippery. There is always something in life to keep moving forward for, whether that be hope or the chance at the unknown. Oops. I rambled on again haha

  • You're not ugly. You have lovely hair, clear skin, pretty eyes and a great mouth shape. Believe me when i say women pay people to inject their lips with poison so they will look like yours. The only thing i will say you could work on is getting into better shape, or losing weight. Don't do the fad diets or make it all about looking a certain way, eating healthy and exercising plus drinking heaps of water will make you feel better about yourself too. It's seriously amazing how much happier and just more energized you can feel, which in turn will give you more confidence and that will attract more guys. Confidence is key:) You are also still really young, don't worry if a relationship hasn't happened yet (it's pretty normal even though people don't like to admit it) you will find an awesome guy sometimes its just a matter of being at the right place at the right time. Just work on getting healthier and feeling more confident, work on you for now and it will all work out.

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  • I'll start with your good characteristics that I see so far. Your hair is a very pretty color, and your lips have a nice shape. If it's your looks you want to work on, play up your best features. Try out some new lipstick or lipgloss. I think a lot of colors would look good on you, but be careful with really bright shades. How they look in the tube isn't always how they look applied. You have clear skin, so they may work. I recommend soft pink or brown tones.
    I really do admire your hair, it's thick and pretty. You could try straightening or curling it. If you don't have much time, straightening takes less time.
    I had the same problem with boys when I was younger. But when I got older, so did my face and a lot of guys are all over me now (not literally). But you get my point. How you look will change. You'll grow a LOT. I'm not shitting you. You're gonna change a lot.
    I understand how you feel about your weight. My metabolism is terrible and I have to work hard to keep my weight steady. If you're not into intense exercise, try walking or biking. This last month I lost an inch off my waist by just cutting back on sugar and biking every day. Not even tough bikng trips, just like up and down my road a couple times. Trust me, these little changes make a huge difference.
    Don't worry too much! Okay? There's a lot you can do for yourself that's gonna help! Message me if you want to talk more.

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  • Don't ever say you are ugly, because you are beautiful. When I first saw your picture, I first noticed how amazingly jealous I am of your lips and clear skin. You also have stunning eyes. What makes you even more beautiful is the fact that you seem like such a genuinely sweet person. It makes me sick that you've been bullied. Those people are ugly and don't deserve to be in your presence. As for the guy stuff, you shouldn't feel bad about anything. I've never had a boyfriend or even a guy ask me out, so I know how you feel about not feeling like guys like you. Though when you look at all of these beautiful women in our world, I bet half of them feel the same and have been rejected before. Also, give yourself some credit for having the guts to ask a guy out, I definitely don't have the balls to do that. There is a guy made for you out there, don't give up.

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  • First of all you're not ugly and im sure your mom isn't ugly either. My point is if you dont want to lose weight and comfy with yourself then don't. You never know what life will bring you and there are guys out there who will love you for who you are and not for your looks. there's no such place on earth where only slim girls get bfs. Forget about that. But confidence is the key. Most guys i know like confident and social girls so i think being socially active may help you with your goal. Speaking of your crush, if you think he's the right guy who will not hurt you for your approach then id say go for it.

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  • You'd be surprise how much of a difference a positive outlook on things can make. You know the old saying, "fake it 'till you make it", well there's some truth in that. Act more confident and other people will pick up on that, which will then make you actually feel more confident. Nobody wants to be in a relationship with a Debbie-downer, just sayin'.

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  • You've actually got really pretty eyes and killer eyebrows. Seriously, they're like, model status. I think if you lost some weight it would slim your face down and do wonders for your self esteem.

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  • There's someone out there for everyone honey. I'm 318 lbs and my man is super duper skinny!!! Give it time you're still young.

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  • I think everyone will find love, someday. But first you should love yourself. And you're not ugly.. We are all beautiful in our very own ways!

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  • 1. You're not ugly, if you want to lose weight do it for YOU not anyone else.
    2. If you feel it's your time to live the healthy lifestyle, change your mindset. You will not get the results without doing so
    3. Do not go after someone if they would only be attracted to you if you lost weight. Run far away
    4. Confidence is attractive, get some inner confidence. It will bring in some much needed positive vibes

    Good luck (:

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  • You aren't ugly. Guys have done worse.

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  • You look very similar to a happily married friend of mine.

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  • You're not ugly
    If you're not feeling confident try to do some things to help that, like trying out makeup looks that suit you (even just some mascara would do wonders) or getting your hair done or wearing a pretty outfit.
    Eating well and exercising is great for confidence- I recently got healthy myself

    It's good to hear that you're a nice person. Keep being yourself and don't change for anyone, the right guy is out there for you, you're very young :)

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  • You are not ugly. Caring people could never be ugly either. You'll find love in your life in many forms. Don't let the world get you down.

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  • You will find love.

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