Does race factor into what makes a person attractive? And what do you think about racial preferences, are they racist or just preferences?

So basically, I'm going to be in highschool soon, and I have only ever had one serious relationship (which I'm too embarassed to say how long it lasted, since it was very short). It was a big messy love triangle including my friend. In the end, he choose her over me. I totally fine with it. One thing I noticed is that he gets erections just by being with her. When we were dating, he never got any. After we broke up, I asked his friend about it and his friend said, he was only dating me so I wouldn't feel let down, he didn't actually think I was pretty. I'm a black girl and constanly, I've been told I'm not pretty enough, so when I was with him (he is white), I actually started gaining confidence. My friend, is white and I can't help but think maybe race had something to do with it. I just want to know if a guy can truly find a black woman attractive. I'm not at all like the sterotype and I think i'm interesting. I'm not so worried that he left me because he didn't like my personality, I think it was because of how I look. I'm not saying all qhite males think like that, but I'm getting discouraged. I honestly, myself have no race preference, but even black guys whom I confess my attraction to say they only date light-skinned black girls, or something else. When I tell people I don't have any preference whatso ever, I get a response like, "Your lying so you don't sound ignorant" or "That's crazy". I just want to know what other people think. Sorry for grammer, typed this late at night.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • In a perfect world, people would use their preferences as a more of a guideline rather than an end all be all checklist.

    Some white dudes are open to interracial dating and some aren't. This can be due to cultural reasons, parental pressures, specific preferences, etc.

    As long as they have decency to gently reject you if you ever showed interest, then it's fine. But if they're gonna be asses about it, then feeling will be hurt.

    So yes race does play a factor, but not for everyone.

    But hey it's not just white people who have racial preferences.

    Lots of East Asians only date other East Asians or whites.

    Lots of Indians only date/marry other Indians or sometimes whites.

    Some black girls will only date white, hispaninic, and mixed dudes.

    Some black guys have a specific preference for light skin girls thus reducing their dating pool to Latinas, whites and mixed girls.

    So this preference thing is integrated throughout the world.

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What Guys Said 13

  • Good questions. Race does factor into some persons idea of what's attractive but not others. What if some lost tribe somewhere never saw another race what would they think? Some persons preferences are racially motivated but some aren't. It's getting better in the USA but other countries like Brazil are way better

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  • I don't think race factors into what makes a person attractive, but that doesn't mean people don't have a preference. We can say Beyonce and Shakira are both attractive, but some will prefer Beyonce, others will prefer Shakira. Race may matter more at the individual level. Not everybody is willing to date outside their own race. I don't find it surprising. I don't think it has to do with hate or acceptance. People just like the convenience of sharing the same culture and being with someone that "looks" like them. Some people are more adventurous. They're the people you'll want to be with. They're more fun anyway :-)
    By the way. That doesn't mean that there are not people who are just downright racist. They still exist...

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  • For me it does not. When I see a beautiful women, there's something in me that had already determined she's beautiful before i really get a chance to think about anything like what her race is. Her race doesn't factor in at all. If she immediately strikes me as beautiful, she's beautiful. Period. Preferences are just preferences in some cases. In others it is racial bias. In yet others that preference is more of a result of brainwashing of various types mainly mainstream controlled media and advertising. My preference is Asian girls mainly but also other women of color. They are varied in skin colors and hair types and other exotic features. I variety and there's plenty among Asian girls and others of color. Exotic variety. These are matters of personal taste in my opinion, In many cases, but not all. You never know what's in someone's heart no matter what they say.

    Don't YOU think there are attractive black women? Why do you need to basically ask others here? If you have to ask that question then I assume you don't get out much beyond school or watch to much primetime TV and are brainwashed into believing there aren't any or both.

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    • I never said that. I think everyone is beautiful in their own way, but other people, at least in my experience, don't seem to think so. Of course I think there are attractive people in every race. I don't even like to use the word attractive to describe someone, if I don't know them. All of the time, I like someone, after speaking to them, not by their looks. There is no meter to measure 'beauty' and my question wasn't asking that. I just wanted to hear other people's opinions. I personally don't believe in racial preferences, as would have seen if you read my whole question. I'm a black girl myself and I would consider myself attractive. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, in my opinion.

    • I know guys, white guys that have dated black girls, attractive black girls. What has consistently turned them of to even hot bkdbk girls is that chip-on-shoulder attitude. I've experienced that myself. I like women of color. But more often than not it's that attitude of black girls that I find unattractive and stear clear of. It gets old fast and who wants to deal with that when there are so many other options?

    • I understand that. But the reason he broke up with me was because of how I looked, not because of my personality. I consider myself a decent human being. I think black woman are some of the most harshly sterotyped people in media, and it is sad, because it covers the true reality of black woman. When other black girls buy into that sterotype, it make it even harder for those who don't to shine. I understand that if a person are bombareded with the same experience of a particular race, you might lose hope. I guess it is important to all try to keep a clear mind, which is a hard thing to do in this day and age.

  • Race does factor in what makes someone attractive, cause different races have different traits.
    And racial preferences aren't racist as long as the reason behind it is not "I hate X race". Like I said before, every races has their set of traits, and everyone has different taste. Asian's eyes are much smaller than black's or white's. Am I racist because I say I like X eyes more than the others? No, it's just what I find more attractive.

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  • I love black girls. I've never had the opportunity to go out with one tho. I wouldn't think so hard on this and just move on. He is immature and ran to the one he felt was more attractive. Look at it this way, you lucked out, he is gone and now you don't have to deal with his games

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  • They are just preferences, I've dated all kinds of girls and I got stuck liking blonde ones (lucky me.. Not) but as long as you don't like reject guys like insanely cruelly you should be okay..

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  • You are assuming toooo much im sure it wasn't about that im sure another white man will find you sooner or later.

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    • Yeah, I guess you are right. I go to a private school (on scholarship) and a lot of the times, the people at school have probaly never seen or been close with a black person their entire life which is sad. I believe the real world is different, but since my school is so small, I don't have a lot of people to base my opnions on. I guess your right, I shouldn't base opinions at all, which is something I'll work on.

    • They problably have but don't have any black friends maybe you should mingle dear

  • NO...

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  • All aspects of a person's physical bearing determine who will be attracted to them and to what degree. Skin tone, nose shape, hair length/color, physical fitness, height all play a huge role in physical attraction. Race is a factor in this, because people of different ethnicities simply look different.

    Now, if you want to say that's racist, well, that's your choice. Doesn't make you correct, but it's your choice. The bottom line is that people like what they like. Why do the vast majority of black girls only date black guys? Because that's who they're attracted to. And yes, there are some white guys who will be attracted to you. It's certainly not impossible, it's just a rarer combination than black girl/black guy.

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    • Interesting points, although, I never said it was racist. I just wanted to know people's opinions on it. I think that there is a difference between saying, I hate *insert race/ethnicity* and saying I like blond girls with blue eyes, but I would be willing to try other things. It's okay to have a preference, but when you are restrained by the list of things you want in a person physically, and wll not try anything else, that is when is become racist. And also a vast majority of the reason why black girls tend to only date black guys is because they are scared of rejection, if they try to persue someone from a different race. I guess a lot of black girls feel that black guy would 'understand them' better. I don't agree with that thinking, but that's what a lot of other black girls seem to think.

    • It's not racist for a white guy to say he's not attracted to black girls any more than it's racist for black girls to say they aren't attracted to white guys. Not everything is racism. Some guys aren't into black girls, some guys aren't into Asian girls, some guys aren't into short girls, some guys aren't into fat girls, etc. It's just what people like.

  • Well every person has different taste. I like blonde girls, brunettes, that are white, Arab, Mid East, sometimes Latina, but it depends on what their body looks like, I don't like skinny girls I like girls who are curvy a little and are just a little bit chubby. And the girls I like have to have nice boobs and a nice ass

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  • Yes race does factor in when a person is grudged as attractive or not. And racial preferences is exactly that, preferences.

    It's not racist to only go for girls you find attractive, regardless of the reasons you find it attractive. Racial feature is part of look, and look is a great part of what we find attractive or not.

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  • I'am not a racist at all but white woman are much more beautiful in my opinion. That is just how my brain is wired.

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  • It shouldn't, but often does

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think there are gorgeous people from every race. A beautiful Asian model won't be the same type of beauty as a dark black model, but both are beautiful in their own way, there's no way to compare

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    • Same with finding someone attractive. If they have a nice face then they're attractive, it's not really a preference to a certain race

  • Girllll , I've gone through that shit, I once asked out this white guy He lliterally started screaming and shouting no no no no all his friends started laughing He was acting like He was disgusted by that idea, I'm going to tell u high school is much harder because more judgmental people But hopefully u will find a guy that likes you for your personality not because of your looks But your probably really pretty despise me I'm disgusting 😂 God bless.
    Reply to this if you want

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