Does it matter if I have an unflat stomach, self harm scars and stretch marks?

This is aimed at both guys and girls but I'm scared to have sex with someone in the future because i've got quite a lot of self harm scars on my legs and they've been there for about a year and I doubt they will fade much more, i've also carved words like 'fat' into my legs as well and it just makes me so self conscious. I've also had anorexia in the past and have had to gain weight so I have quite a few of stretch marks on my thighs, butt and knees and an unflat stomach due to genetics so i'm just really nervous. I obviously won't go for someone shallow but everyone has standards and i'm just worried that it's a turn off.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • God you are so young for all these things but you are lucky you got to overcome them all, I am over 25 and still struggling with my body image, I have noticeably uneven breasts, unflat is not enough for me huge belly :) and I have got stretch marks, butt acne and low self esteem.
    It's been three month that I have been with my boyfriend, he's my second and first serious, he accepts me the way I am, I still find it hard to believe, but girl it's true, not all guys are shallow and just care about the way you look. Mine prefers skinnier girls and tease me about it sometimes, but he wants ''me'', that's the difference, he didn't ask me to lose weight but he's encouraging me to do sports with him, which I am to lazy to do but willing to :)
    Listen, once you find someone who truly cares about you because you had a connection, you will work together to accept and overcome any scars, emotionally or physically.
    And for the fat word carved, honey it's more sexy to make love when it's soft light not under the sun with a microscope to check every inch on your body ;)
    Best of luck

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    • Thank you so, so much for that, it helped me so much i can't even explain it! I developed anorexia and started self harming when i was 12/13 but i'm 15 now and I have pretty much overcome both and although i was really young when i became ill, it's a blessing in disguise because it didn't effect my education and it was a lot easier to overcome, being young and everything. Anyway, i'm so sorry that you struggle with that too, people don't realise how much body image problems have an effect on your day-to-day life but i'm so glad you've found someone who accepts you for you, and i'm sure you're absolutely stunning despite any flaws that you think you may have. :) x

What Guys Said 5

  • No way! Scars make a person more interesting cause it tells a story of the person.

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  • I'm going to be completely honest with you. Unflat stomach and stretch marks don't bother me whatsoever. Self harming scars do. Those are a red flag for me. A girl who carves "fat" in her leg because she has anorexia is not exactly one I'm eager to date.

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    • fair enough, but i'd use the word 'had' instead of 'has' as I've been recovering for over 2 years and would consider myself to be in a much better place than i used to be. Of course i would probably tell the other person about that first - if i'm willing to get naked in front of them they would probably have to know about it haha

    • Oh excuse me, I didn't read properly. Just a quick question: What exactly do you mean by "recovering"? Does recovering from anorexia mean that you are cured of your eating disorder (and that it won't return), or does it mean that you've started to eat more to get to a healthy weight but that the actual eating disorder has not been cured (yet)?

    • Haha, no worries. And i would say it's both. I'm a healthy weight and have been for over a year now but I still have 'anorexic thoughts' - nowhere near as strong and dominant as they used to be but they're still there and I recognise any relapse warnings and counteract them. I personally think a full recovery is impossible and instead I'll learn how to deal with the illness and not let it effect me anymore. I'm only 15 though so i will grow as a person more and probably further weaken the illness.
      Bacically, a year ago i would have to prepare myself at least 2 days in advance if i was going out to a restaurant, and make sure i eat as little as possible before the meal so that I don't eat 'too much'. Now, i can decide what i'm going to have when I am given the menu and eat normally beforehand.

  • The stomach and the stretch marks I wouldn't look twice at... the marks I'd be alright with too... but the words might just throw me off. It wouldn't really be a problem with me as long as we talked about em first and even then its still nothing worth breaking up over I feel

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  • At your age just focus on your future and dont worry about guys, gives the scars more time to fade too

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  • No one expects you to have a flat stomach and everyone gets stretch marks.
    I wouldn't care about seeing the scars but what is important is that you've stopped and considered getting help.

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What Girls Said 1

  • The scars aren't a deal breaker at all (guys are to busy looking at other things during sex), no one cares about stretch marks
    And plenty of guys dont care about alittle stomach or whatever else you think on you is fat. Not everyone is into skinny flat minies.

    You are over reacting :)

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