How do I get over ebing ugly?

Well first off this is a serious question please try to answer seriously, this is an issue I deal with that has driven me to attempting suicide and getting hospitalized. <-- disclaimer

I'm really ugly (regardless of what you think or say I AM ugly) and no confidence doesn't not attract women and no beauty is not in the eye of the beholder and yes for the millionth time look DO matter a TON to EVERYONE.<--- second disclaimer to avoid the same old answers.

As I stated above this has gotten to me really badly to the poiint of doing things. I work out obsesively and clear my face of acne to extremes that are not healthy and this has become a very debilitating issue. It sure as hell doesn't help that everyone around me (family members, female friends, girls I'm interested in) call me ugly all the time.

I don't feel to good. I used to love to skateboard but I stopped because it made me too skinny. I turned down a good salesperson job because I don't feel well dealing with people. I also dropped out of college because I felt scared to be outside with so many people judging my looks. I really don't know what to do..

And do say "just be confident" you can't be confident woithout achievments and no faking it doesn't work


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Most Helpful Girl

  • First off, you don't look unattractive to me one bit. But I will first start off by saying everyone finds different people attractive. There are people I think are so attractive that my friends don't find attractive and vice versa. Just because a few people don't find you attractive doesn't mean you're ugly. Also, if you carry yourself like someone who doesn't have confidence it'll make you look worse then if you were upbeat I can guarantee you. I will also tell you that even considering myself pretty by normal standards, there have still been people in my life putting me down telling me I'm too skinny, etc. and picking me apart. Being criticized by others happens to people on all levels of attractiveness. Eventually you just have to learn to be happy with yourself and know that there are people out there that will think you look perfectly fine.

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    • I dont look like I have problems in real . Life and the issue its not that SOME girls say Imulgy its that ALL girls say Im ugly

    • Well I don't know what girls you're hanging around but they need to get their eyes checked. Also, not every girl in the world is a Victoria's Secret model so they have no right to put you down.

    • Well Here most girls are hot this is puerto rico after all

Most Helpful Guy

  • Let me try my best to write some stuff.
    Lemme get the stuff out of the way (I'm sorry but it is necessary)-- no. You aren't ugly. You may not be the perfect 10 (very few are), but I've seen guys WAY less attractive than you and still get girlfriends and also be happy in life. I'm sure you don't believe my words, but I do truly honestly mean them from the bottom of my heart.

    I think one problem lies in the fact that you are accepting what people say. I've been called ugly by people, but I learned that it is best just to ignore them. No matter what you think or what some people may think of you, I can guarantee you can still find happiness. If you are worried about women, I can say that there is a woman for everyone out there. Many women have confidence problems too. I suggest that you find a spot where you can hang out and meet people. Many will reject you, so be prepared for harsh words, but all you need is one to accept you.

    I think the main problem is not with your looks, but most likely self esteem. It sounds like you need some self esteem boosters. I suggest going back to skateboarding because it not only gives you something you love, but it is also something people find interesting. You say confidence doesn't come without achievements-- but hey, you got skateboarding. You got a potential to get a good job (maybe a salesperson job in the future) and if you go back to college, you got a good education. What do you mean no achievements? Those are pretty flippin' awesome achievements right there! They can be even better if you cash in your chips so to speak and go for it all! There is no need to fake confidence because it doesn't work like you said, but you just need to realize that you have all the makings of a person who can give off confidence. All you have to do is accept yourself and figure out that it is ok to share to people about yourself.

    Given the fact this is getting the point of bad social anxiety, I also suggest you seek a professional and set up a scheduled time slot with them. If you go in for sessions, they'll be able to give you the help you need in a non-judging place.

    From one dude to another, you aren't ugly. Even if you think you are, know your life can still be great. We never know what life will leave us with years from now, a month from now, or even a minute from now. Reality will give us what we put in. Throw yourself out there! Rejection is ok. Being judged is ok. If you have one person that accepts you, then you've won.

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    • Ran out of characters. My bad haha. If you need clarification or want to ask stuff on whatever too, just type a comment or message me and I'll get back as quick as possible.

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    • If you give up now, boom. No chance. She won't ever be found. She'll go off with some other guy and you'll be miserable.
      But if you persevere, have hope, decide to live your life to the fullest in search, you may be able to find her. There are two roads you can take, and I think you can be strong and take the second. I believe that you honestly have the ability to say "screw all the people that called me ugly before and screw all the people that call me in the future ugly" so you can keep trying for the one match.
      If you give up now, nothing will change, so as humans in this grand cruel world, we must struggle for greatness and try our best with what is given to us.

    • well uglyness is genetic soo I could at best become a butterface

What Girls Said 7

  • Suicide is an extremely selfish act. Being ugly should not be a huge issue for you unless you expect people to acknowledge you for your looks and not for what you contribute to the world. When you think your life is bad just remember that half of the people in this world live on less than $2.00 dollars a day and that people in Nepal are selling their daughters into sexual slavery, torture, abuse, slave labour and eventual death in exchange for $50.00 American dollars.

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  • I think you should seek professional help. I went through a similar period when i was a tween. I had braces, pimples, i was too skinny, the works lol I took half a bottle of Tylenol hoping to die but i didn't lol My mom seeked professional help for me but what helped most was one of my teachers. I looked up to him and he gave me the courage to keep going. There are people out there that will see past beauty. Yes, they are rare in younger generations. Surround yourself with older generations. Most of them care for what you have to say. I'm not saying find an older woman. But the negativity has to be reduced and your surroundings have a lot to do with it.

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  • what are you talking about you're a cutie. forget about the girls that called you ugly, they probably don't look as good without that makeup they're wearing. and also lots of pretty women are with ugly people take Jay Z and Queen B for example x

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    • Thos guys have money,.. ugly guys like mehave no chance with girls

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    • Dude if I were you, I would take the compliment and run. You're getting a compliment from a FREAKING GIRL!!! Stop complaining.

    • ok, let's say looks matter to women. now what? what are you gonna do? where are you going to go from here? are you going to worry about your whole life? does it help? it does not help! in conclusion, confidence is the key.

  • You don't look ugly. I hate guys and girls who bitch about this all the time. Everyone finds love eventually if they work toward it. Sitting here and complaining is doing nothing to solve it. Have confidence it does work. I've seen fat women with boyfriends and I have a fat guy friend who's had tons of girlfriends and he's 17 plus his family is very poor. The difference is my guy friend is very confident and has a huge ego. But seriously you're not ugly, I've seen uglier men.

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    • Fat guys with ugly women and fat girls with ugly men, I dont want an ugly girlfriend

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    • Whatever floats your boat.

    • cool story bro

  • You could get plastic surgery! People give it a lot of crap because you only here about the bad stuff, but I know of individuals who have had it and now have members of the opposite sex flock to them.

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  • You in mho look very attractive, but you seem like the guy you could say that to till your blue in the face and you still won't hear it. That being said maybe you should be so hard on yourself, confidence is so sexy, if you don't think your sexy on the outside make your inside sexy. A guy can be a 3 or 4 on the scale but the way he talks to a girl and the way he carries himself can easily turn him into a 7 or 8 but your higher than a 3 or 4 so yeah. learn how to talk a girl out of her clothes and take pride in yourself girls can smell low self esteem.

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    • Not really noone can "smell" low self esteem and a ugly confident guy is still ugly girls want a good looking man and the fact that he is good looking is what gives him "confidence"

    • I will have to disagree, my sons father not hot by far skinny acne very lanky but the way he carries himself and talked to me and made me laugh he finally persuaded me. Everyone asked me and him how did he get me to be his girl, it's way all about his confidence.

  • just embrace it.

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    • What is happening to men these days, you sound weak and feminine. Woman are the ones who are supposed to bitch about the way they look. NOT MEN. You need to get some confidence and stop acting like a pathetic excuse for a man.
      @KidanisCortes

    • I know plenty of guys who doi and I'm not gonna adehere to retarded old fashioned sexual roles I can bitch and moan abotu whatever I want :)

What Guys Said 9

  • I am the kind of guy who will tell a woman if the pants make her butt look big. The only problem I see with your appearance is those piercings through your lip; they look disgusting! But you can do something about that real quick! Whatever your issue is with women, you may think it's your appearance but it must be something else!

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    • my issue is not with women its with life in general and to be honest most girl think my piercings are cool and they like it they just say I'm ugly in general

  • I understand man, I too am overly conscious about my looks, aha even so that I try to catch a glimpse of myself whenever i see a mirror. I'm sure that happens to you as well. I know I am average looking but still feel bad because average is just not good enough.
    And what bothered me the most were the lame ass motherfuckers who say utter bj cliches like " looks don't matter" "beauty is in the shit of the beholder " Ok motherfucker, why don't you go there and hump a camel instead if you are so fine with it.
    So I started working out, and after getting a toned body, my face also got toned. I felt a little better, started doing some social stuff. I met a lot of people who are like the previous me, and a lot of people who were utter handsome.
    I realized why the fuck am I running around in a rat's race, no matter how hard I work, there always will be guys handsome than me. So I decided, fuck those handsome assholes, and fuck me for trying to be like them.

    The problem is I have too high expectations for myself. So I lower them. So, whenever I find a mirror , i still try to catch a glimpse of myself. But , I refuse to bully myself over the fact about how bad I look anymore. World has been a better place since then. And once you stop noticing that thing in yourself all the time, people will too.

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  • I've been called ugly, its no big deal, I just try to be healthy, happy and confident and that's usually enough to attract people to you. Don't stop doing thing you like, like skateboarding, to fit in better. Unless you were born that 1% of people who is super good looking, someone in life is going to call you ugly at one point just because they don't like you or aren't attracted. Your issue stems from your mind, I know it may be an uncommon answer but a psychologist might prove beneficial in helping you sort this out. At the very least they can give you some tools on how to deal with this insecurity you have because you're not an ugly guy.

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  • Again with the same question... You don't look ugly in that photo lol. i have a female near me and she rated you an 8. But that's just a photo because photos can change a person. Maybe you really do look ugly. Either way, personality really matters. Any guy can get laid or have a decent girlfriend no matter what he looks like. Judging by your post, i can see why personality isn't working for you.

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    • Funny how every chick around me likes who I am but wouldn't bang me just cause of my looks...

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    • I won't lie to you but you are really right when you say that looks matter a lot here. Because it's the online world and not the real one. Just like in dating sites. Everyone's so shallow because we have never met in real life and the only thing we got to judge the other person is looks. But it's a lot different in real life, i don't know about how things go in where you live. But in where i live, i think ugly and average guys are doing pretty good with girls. And why do you think a lot of people are hot here? I have seen only few. And those few could be fake lol. And honestly, i think you look better than 60% of girls who cross my path on the streets. Why in the hell none of those 60% uglier girls than you wouldn't want to fuck you? But as a guy, you can still get a better looking girl than you if you do the right things. You have deflected almost every opinion and advice that was given to you here. No one can help you if you don't try to see the world in a different light.

    • ugly is ugly mane and girls care about looks too and even the ugly ones and I dont want no ugly girl or fat girl thats Why I'm worried

  • Is that why not every guy thinks Cara Delevingne is hot? Your not ugly you don't know what true ugliness is until you lose your health especially the kind that distorts your outside appearance for example, Vitiligo, severe Eczema, alopecia, etc. so excuse me if I don't feel sorry.

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    • cara is kinda uggs..

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    • I'm not asking so people feel sorry I'm asking to find a solution objectively and people have bombarded me with the lies of "confidence is attractive* it sure is if the guy has the looks to back it up. I hate how society just regurgitates retarded PUA bullshit that was never spoken about before the internet days

    • Well yeah PUA is a scam

  • well, you do not like being ugly because girls do not like or you do not feel comfortable about yourself?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-N0yXGVWS1Y

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    • because girls won't like me asides from ugly girls, I dont want an ugly girlfriend

    • trust me confidence is the most important in that case. just try. do not blame on things when you don't try...

    • no confient ugly guys are still ugly

  • All about you that is ugly is your self talk mate. Get the book "What to say when you talk to yourself" and study it thoroughly and get your self talk right and you will become the lovely person that you are...

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  • Come on! Women aren't the only thing in the world. Fuck what the girls they say! They're just nasty horny bitches. You have to be true to yourself. You'll get your chance. I hate guys who bitch and whine about this. It's starting to get annoying.

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  • I'm ugly af too and it's worse because I'm 6'4 but I had to embrace it I don't attract women but who cares just do what you like to do

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