No memories from hs?

I tried to make friends in hs (made a social circle of some guys and one girl in senior year) and was surrounded by nice people. but i'd get turned down for hanging out since they had their cliques. I met so many smart, kind, and funny people. Many cute chicks were there too. I never got to be more than an aquiantance to them. I even went to prom dateless (had fun with friends and stag girls). WTF. I also missed out on certain things as a kid like a PS2 or playing Gamecube/Playstation with friends (the older games like mario party 7 and crash racing and Pokemon Firered). I never even hugged or kissed a girl since I didn't have many female friends (or male). I didn't know many people who could introduce me to people or help me meet girls (since cold approach = no go). What to do when I start studying comp sci in csueb in fall? I make jokes occasionally, but not too often, and am not too muscular. Cuz of this, my confidence got shot and my grades dropped. and I dealt with strict ass parents (I'm Indian) who told me to focus ONLY on academics and not give a F**k about hobbies or friends (I enjoy movies and gaming, and have 1 social circle, and they think that's enough). But I felt that I was boring and that new people = more excitement. how do i make friends or get a girlfriend at this rate? Is it true that 160 lbs + 5 foot 8 + Indian + not too funny + shy (wont shut up around friends) + slight desperation = no friends or gf? or should I stop being nice to people since Nice guys finish last? I am loyal and WILL treat a girl right. I believe in respect and will NEVER hit a girl (unless I must). I don't drink or smoke and rarely party (only hang with /to make friends) People in my hs say I'm reallly nice. But, A wave of regret haunts me everyday, having "what if" thoughts.

Will I find someone who works hard AND plays hard (same hobbies, occasional party, friendly, down to going out the college style - to a restaurant or a bar/club)?
no memories from hs?



How do I meet friends like these?




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Most Helpful Girl

  • you'll find someone

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What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe you should talk to a therapist and work through some of these issues

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What Guys Said 1

  • To actually meet people, being kind and friendly are good traits to have. And honestly, thinking a woman will like you just because you're nice is a bad mentality to fall into. Nice is like the default everyone should be, it doesn't mean it's going to get you laid.

    Not every person you meet out there will be a good match for you thats why its important to try to meet many different types of people. Try to find local gaming groups, join a sports league, start working out 3 times a week to improve your physique. The workouts will boost your endorphins and make you feel better, I used to be very depressed and exercise is one of the best ways to fight it on a physiological level. Talking to people you don't know can be hard but just relax, even if you goof up and say something dumb, at least learn from it and move on. You won't ever learn how to do it if you don't try. You need to work having conversations and making yourself interesting but easiest way is to think about hobbies and interests and talk about those. Again, not everyone will be into games so it's good to have a variety of things to talk about.

    Being healthy mentally is so important and regular contact with people is a part of that. I've known many guys like you who are shy and usually I tell them they have social anxiety but it's not always the case so I won't put that label on you either. Therapy can do wonders and since you're going to school in the fall, you should see if the school offers any counseling or therapy for students.

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