How should I feel about seemingly exagerrated or unjustified compliments?

My intention is not to sound arrogant or to show off in any way. It is a question that I've been asking myself for a few weeks now. I don't want any bashing or hate, solely constructive criticism.
Many of my friends (both guys and girls) very often make compliments on how I look and what I (can) do. However, I don't feel like I'm all that. I am aware of my talents and am proud of them and of the hardwork I've furnished all along, but I don't feel like they are so exceptional that they need outside praise. When it comes to my looks, I love them and am proud of them and grateful for them. But I don't feel like it's as good as my friends and the people around me make it seem to be. Almost all my friends always say that I look "so good" or am "so cool" while I don't even try. I'm just being me, wearing or doing what I want. For example, lately, I have been receiving the "you're so attractive" compliment a lot, from both genders of any sexual orientation. But I don't really believe it.. I never needed any sort of approval from others, and I honestly don't like it when someone else than myself approves or disapproves what I am, do or say. I accept it politely, but it doesn't have an impact on my self-esteem or motivation. I still love myself after someone tells me something mean or if I mess up.
Recently, a guy I barely know has been staring at me everytime he meets me. Just this blank, "I see nobody but you" stare. And it made me think. Not only because I'm attracted to him too, but because of the image I could give to people or the vibe they could perceive from me.
I have been extremely blessed in life and I will never be grateful enough for it. I am just asking for help on how I feel, if it is normal or if I'm just overthinking.
What do you guys think of that?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I feel exactly how you feel. I don't feel like I'm an alpha male or anything, but my friends and family say I'm "the perfect guy" and they always ask why I'm still single after like two years... I've had a number of oppurtunities to go out with some girls, I just don't have time for them, and it just doesn't seem worth it to me. My decisions and actions are completely based on how I feel, not what seems cool or popular to everyone else, and I get compliments similar to the ones you mentioned.
    I honestly feel like with this kind of mindset, you have a lot of inner confidence, and you don't need to change the way you're thinking.

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    • Thanks for your answer!
      That's cool to be so self-confident at only 16! That's great! =D
      I still wonder why I'm single sometimes, but I always end up thinking that I'm fine by myself and I don't need anyone else to worry about.

What Guys Said 2

  • well i´d think, the person they´re coming from, wants to get in my pants xD

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    • Would that mean that I actually am an attractive person? Both sexually and socially?

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    • basically yes. but it doeesn´t need to be bullshit. it´s not yet aware to them that it´s the wrong decision. maybe. maybe that´s not the case at all XD you can´t know in advance.

    • True.. Dang, you got a point!

  • You're thinking is normal. I suppose if it doesn't seem like a really hard task for you, you should strive to achieve something that is actually challenging for you. Set a high standard for yourself.

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    • A high standard.. hmmm.. I'm trying to work my butt of to get straight A's and move into a new super nice apartment. I seldom had to work so hard to get what I want, but I figured out that it's quiet hard to work like that. It's super motivating because I'm thinking about what I'll achieve in the end, even if it's materialistic. I'll be closer from one of my best friends and my current love interest. These are not the main reason why I'm moving out of my place, but they add to my motivation.
      Does it count as a high standard? Or did you have something else in mind?

    • I suppose a "new super nice apartment" and straight A's is more than most 20 year olds can achieve. Basically if your goal is something you have to put effort and make sacrifices to achieve, I would say that's a high standard.

    • Ok, could you give me an example?

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