Am I fat? My partner says I need to lose weight. I thought I liked my body, but now I'm not sure. Am I?

Long story short I mentioned I noticed I had lost a little bit of weight that was making the swivel in my hips more noticeable. He said I should keep going and try to get thin. I asked what he meant and he said "it's not that your body is unattractive, it's just that It's not attractive either. But if you lose like 20lbs I'm sure you'll look and feel a lot better and more confident."
Am I fat? My partner says I need to lose weight. I thought I liked my body, but now I'm not sure. Am I?
I know I'm not flat, but I never have been since puberty tbh. I even tried to get rid of it and got down to 72 lbs. even then I still wasn't flat. If that's mandatory to look good I worry I never will look good, because it's like physically impossible for me. I just feel kinda bad now is all. I didn't know I was that bad. I wear a size 4. Should I try to lose the 20lbs for him?


1|0
20|40

Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all, just let me say... 20 lbs? Is he fucking HIGH? Jesus tap-dancing christ! Not a chance!
    Look, I'm sorry, it's not my place to judge, but I can't help it. Your boyfriend sounds like an asshat. The mere fact that he would tell his girlfriend she was unattractive kind of makes him a asshole right there... Now, once you add into the equation the fact that you are quite clearly a very attractive female, he really just seems like an even bigger douchenozzle.

    Furthermore I feel like SOMEONE needs to say it... You should NEVER be made to feel like you need to lose a single pound to be suitably fuckable to some ridiculous assclown who clearly doesn't deserve you in the first place. The fact that he would say that and cause you to feel shitty about your body really speaks volumes about his character, I think.

    Lastly, just so we're crystal clear on what I am telling you, you are a very attractive woman. You do not need to lose any weight. I feel like most guys would find your body very attractive. You seem like a pretty healthy size to me, not to big not to small.
    Also, I'd strongly consider ditching the guy who is so shallow he thinks YOU are too fat! Like, wow... lol.

    1|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • I had a weird boyfriend who made rude remarks about my weight when I was around 5'7 & 125 lbs. Also my clothes, hair, choices, etc. He made me feel insane, because he was so nice and attentive at first and slowly started destroying my security. I eventually realized it was just a way to make me feel bad and exert power over me. It's a control thing... Drop this bozo.

    3|0
    0|0
    • It's really scary how accurate this is. But I can't leave him. I don't know if could manage existence without him. he helps me out in so many ways. I'm autistic and he's made my life a lot easier by helping me or with everything and being there to explain medical, legal, and money things for me. I'm too slow.

    • You should reach out to community agencies that could help you learn to be more independent. Are you American? A lot of places have United Way, which sort of coordinated local nonprofits. You can call them and see if there is anywhere around that could help.

      Guys like these will convince you that you're too slow, too mean, too stubborn, too crazy... even if you're not. Reality gets so mixed up.

What Guys Said 39

  • Here is an interesting clip for you. Pay particular attention between 40 seconds and 1min 55secs. I always loved this scene and I love her attitude. If more girls were like her, there would be a lot more girls out there that were comfortable in their own skin. I hope she rubs off on you! Oh, and your boyfriend sounds like a real winner. If I were 21 again I'd try to give him a run for his money and snatch you away from his ungrateful @$$. Anyway, enjoy the clip... if it posts. If not, search YouTube for "Pulp Fiction Pot Belly and look for the 4min and some odd seconds clip. Bye!

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SauaqsOSRXg

    0|0
    0|0
  • Nothing wrong with the way you are right now. Your guy is doing you no favors. I think you would be better off without him, but I know you will stay with him and listen to that bs. Just hope you do not try losing that much before you realize he really is not who you want to be with for a lifetime.

    0|0
    0|0
  • WTF? You have the same size tummy as the girl I'm dating and I think it's sexy as hell.

    3|0
    0|0
    • You think tummies are sexy?

    • No, it's not like you have a tummy, I just meant the shape of yours is sexy, you're not even remotely chubby, you're just not model skinny which is perfectly fine. It really makes no difference and both are equally sexy! Seriously, you don't have anything to be worried about, if you want to get really fit you should do it for yourself and not bc your boyfriend thinks you could look sexier bc you look sexy as hell the way you are right now.

    • See? ^ this is not just me! It's seriously true!

  • I see nothing to change !
    You are beautiful as you are. This is what a normal woman looks like and it is damn attractive ! 72lbs is like nothing ! I didn't even know you could go so low as an adult ! You certainly could not possibly weight 52lbs I don't believe it is possible even if you had your legs amputated !

    0|0
    0|0
  • How in the HELL could anyone consider you fat? That isn't even close to Chubby. You look VERY healthy, and that is fucking hot.

    2|0
    0|0
    • Even without having a flat stomach? Try as I have I always maintain a little chubbiness over my pelvic bone:/

    • Did I Stutter? FUCKING hot.

    • Your fine. It isn't noticeable if you are wearing a shirt, and hell it wouldn't even be noticeable at all if you actually wore your pants around your waist/hips.

  • You're nowhere near fat, and in my opinion you don't have 20lbs to spare! From that one pic it looks like you have a great figure :-) Be proud!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Gosh, there would be nothing left if you lost 20 lbs - I would very much urge you to stay as you are or at the very most lose 3 to 5 lbs. Maybe do some toning training on parts of your body rather than lose weight,

    0|0
    0|0
  • Haha, you aren't fat. You don't need to lose 20 fuckin lbs, you could lose 10 and your stomach would probably be more toned.

    Do what you like though.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You don't look horrible but you'd probably feel a lot better if you started exercising. It would help you tone up and give you a sleeker look if you do some cardio. Just five pounds really can make a difference. You don't look bad, but you could look way better if you started exercising. And 72 lbs? That sounds like anorexia. If you're starving yourself and not exercising because of the lack of energy sometimes you can retain fat pockets which is probably what happened and why you say you didn't have a flat stomach (though is also possible you just didn't see that you were flat because you had body dysmorphia and couldn't tell)

    0|0
    0|0
  • You don't need to change a thing, you are perfect and beautiful just the way you look right now! If your boyfriend really cares about you and loves you, then the way your body looks wouldn't matter to him. I'm going to take a guess here and say that one day you'll eventually want to have children, your body isn't going to stay the same, if he doesn't find you completely attractive right now, how is he going to look and see you when you're 7, 8, 9 months pregnant. You deserve someone so much better than him, someone who in their eyes, that you are perfectly beautiful.

    0|0
    0|0
  • That's the typical "boy" response. You're fine. If you insist on losing weight. 5lbs max!

    0|0
    0|0
    • "Boy"? I don't get it. What do you mean?

    • "boy" meaning that your boyfriend is only looking at the physical attraction. I can say that i was like that when I was younger. When you get older, you look past the physical attraction and look into the person as a whole. Where you are mentally, physical, spiritually. If you're boyfriend only is looking at your weight then he is still young in my eyes and it's inevitable that when we get older, our bodies are going to change, for better or for worst. It's not meant to be a derogatory term; more so, a term to describe the maturity level at this point in time :)

  • You are certainly not fat. In fact i think you have a spectacular body. If you lost as much weight as your boyfriend told you to, you would be sickly and unhealthy. Plus, it was quite rude of him. I would reconsider if i were you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You look fine to me... when you think of it... is he perfect? Nice abs, muscular arms, toned?

    If not, I get a laugh out of these guys who think that there girl should be these size 2 womenwhen they hardly take care of themselves!

    0|0
    0|0
    • Well I am a size 4 and can fit into a good deal of size 2 clothes. So that's kinda off. But he's pretty emaciated actually. Kinda awkwardly boney. But I like how he looks. Body to me isn't too important. I think so long as they aren't fat they're fine. It's more about the face to me and his is really nice

    • That actually sounds really unhealthy being super skinny like that... you are just a healthy body-type.

  • You look great from the side... you're not fat, you don't have a pot... you have a very nice body... well done

    1|0
    0|0
  • Oh my god, your fine.

    If your boyfriend doesn't find you attractive this way, he's EXTREMELY picky.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Not my boyfriend. friends with benefits. And why would that make him really picky? I assumed it's more like just a "type"

    • My first point stands, and the thing is, is that you are actually relatively skinny. And if you said it didn't work in the past, it probably won't this time.

  • that guy needs a punch in the face. you are not fat, not even close to being chubby. your body is perfectly fine and if you like it then there is no need to lose any weight!

    0|0
    0|0
  • you are fucking obese
    https://i.imgur.com/iWKad22.jpg

    0|0
    2|0
  • the simple answer to this question is keep the 20lbs and loose the partner

    0|0
    0|0
  • You're not even close to fat, this is a perfectly healthy body, instead of those anorexic bodies which people are so much into these days

    0|0
    0|0
    • I thought those anorexic bodies were what's attractive to guys and girls in a mate :/

    • you couldn't be more wrong in that case, I can't stand skinny anorexic bodies, I would prefer chubby anyday over them, not that your body is chubby. I think you have just the right amount of body fat which is required by any woman to stay healthy

  • Geez.. You're WAY hot. He's a douche bag who's absolutely out of his mind

    0|0
    0|0
  • you're not fat. you look great.
    If you're happy with yourself then you shouldn't change for anyone

    1|0
    0|0
  • Chubbyish, yea

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think you are thin

    0|0
    0|0
  • He is an asshole, you are fine the way you are, don't try to kill yourself to satisfy an unappreciated jerk

    0|0
    0|0
  • There is absolutely nothing wrong with how your body looks.

    You don't need to lose weight you need to lose the boyfriend.

    You look great and your body is picture perfect. Dump him and find someone who appreciates you for you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I hope you punched him in the throat and gave him his cards.

    0|0
    0|0
  • if you think you have a gut then I guess I would be Santa Clause. there is nothing wrong with your tummy it looks great.
    and by the way sexy side boob shot you got there, it looks like really nice boobs.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Why are people commenting on the tiny portion of slightly visible boob -_- it's so unnoticeable and unimportant -_-*

    • because it looks like it could be very sexy.

  • I like your body type.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think you look fantastic!! I'm not sure how you could use much more. Maybe just try working on you ab muscles and that might make him happy

    0|0
    0|0
  • You look wonderful. You're boyfriend is blind.

    1|0
    0|0
    • He's not my boyfriend. We're more like friends with benefits.

    • I wrote "Your" wrong. Sorry. I'm tired.
      And that doesn't matter. Your friend with benefits is blind.

  • More from Guys
    9

What Girls Said 19

  • My philosophy is that you never EVER lose weight because someone else tells you to (with the exception of a certified physician, that is). If he feels he has the right to tell you to lose weight, he also has the right to shut the fuck up and get the hell out of your life.

    Regardless, you are not fat in any sense of the word. There is nothing wrong with the way you look or your body, and please don't let one asshole's inaccurate opinion of you skew the way you view yourself. You're beautiful and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

    0|0
    0|0
  • No but I don't understand why the side boob was necessary lol.
    You're healthy! Don't lose weight. You don't need to and if you're going to, do it for yourself not for him. He's a dick anyways, telling you to lose weight. And for what purpose? Honestly, he's a douche and not worth your time. If he wants you to lose 20 pounds is he attracted to skeletons? Ew, talk about necrophilia..😂

    1|0
    0|0
    • I don't know. The only two girls he's dated were really really skinny and he's pretty much bones so I don't know

    • Noo girl noo. And losing 20 pounds won't make you feel more confident believe me, you have to eat nutrients, complex carbohydrates, vitamins, etc. Not practically starve yourself by lowering your calorie intake. Skinny girls may be what he's attracted to but you don't have to be one. You shouldn't lose weight against your will bc your boyfriend thinks it will be hot if you're anorexic. And if his sexual attraction is the only thing he cares about, tell him to go to hell because you're not going to starve yourself for his sexual appetite.

  • OK WELL ONE how rude, if he wanted you to make a little improvement there's nicer ways of saying it! Only lose weight for yourself, if you are unhappy with little areas then there's always room for improvement. We are our own worst critics however it seems like he's worse. I'm sorry x

    0|0
    0|0
  • 20 pounds? Is he out of his mind? No. You do not need to lose weight my dear. You are plenty thin enough. You have a cute tummy and plus, I don't know what your definition of flat is but I promise it doesn't exist. We are meant to have curves. Go back to being confident and tell him to hush up. :) (if it makes this any more certified I am bi and I can say all of this not only as a fellow female but also from the attraction persepective.)

    2|1
    0|0
    • I know we're meant to have curves, but aren't we also meant to have flat stomachs? That's how all the athletic people and famous people and naturally slender people are. They're completely flat. Like a washboard. And when you say you're bi and speaking not only as a woman, does that mean that you find my appearance generally attractive, or just that you know some women who would? (I like women, but of the ones I've met they're much more judgmental about my body not being attractive to them)

    • -_- hon pull out a biology book. Women are meant to have a large some percent of far more than guys biologically speaking for bearing children. A larger percentage of guys like their girls curvy. You shouldn't be overly thin and losing 20 pounds you're going to hurt yourself because you're already thin. And I mean that you are attractive. To be blunt. So please please please don't be so conflicted. Your boyfriend is far from correct. :)

  • You look great and you're healthy the way you are. Your boyfriend sounds like a jerk for saying that. Your man should uplift you and make you feel beautiful not bring you down mentally. I would not loose weight. And if he doesn't find you attractive then another man will. A man ten times better than him.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Omg he's a f*cking idiot please do not listen to him, let him discourage you, or losse anymore weight if you do soon enough you'll be anorexic.

    So what if your stomach isn't perfectly straight it's still better than a lot of others. If he doesn't find you attractive the way you are that's his problem not yours.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Don't you dare! Not for him! What a louse. If you lose 20lbs you would be skin and bones. I'm sorry but you need to let him go. He will do nothing but destroy your self-worth. You are not fat and definitely not overweight.

    2|0
    0|0
    • I thought that was what's ideal though:/ the skinny look. I mean everyone uses Angelina Jolie as the main sex symbol and she is almost literally skin and bones.

    • There is no such thing as the ideal look. The "ideal" look is whatever makes you happy. You determine that. Not your boyfriend. If you want to lose weight then do it for you and for your health. And don't take everything everyone else says word for word. I would take everything social media has to say with a grain of salt. Life is not about pleasing others, it;s about finding what makes you happy. How can you do that when you let everything everyone else says run your life?

  • No way in hell. You look very healthy and does the guy want you to be like a size 000? I would say to buy a pizza and kick him out of your life for good.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You are not fat, and you most certainly do not need to lose weight. If you want to look different, then you can change for yourself, not for some asshole who thinks you should be unhealthy so he can get his rocks off.
    That being said, there are ways to flatten your tummy. Don't eat less, but eat more protein and less fat and carbs. Do abdominal strengthening exercises, and keep your cardio fitness up. These will help flatten your tummy, as well as keeping everything else healthy.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Your boyfriend wants a stick figure. 72 lbs isn't even a healthy weight for the tiniest of grown women.

    2|0
    0|0
    • He's not my boyfriend. We're more like friends with benefits. So like "partner" in a sexual way. Not romantic.

    • Oh, then he's even more irrelevant! There is no reason to starve yourself for anybody, and definitely not a fuck buddy.

  • Dump him... ridiculous beauty standards. Your body is fine. I can't stop shaking my fucking head at these ass clowns.

    1|0
    0|0
  • WTF? 72 lbs? Are you trying to die for some asshole?

    1|0
    0|0
    • That was long before I knew him. I had an eating disorder that went kind of out of control for a while.

    • Show All
    • Oh, and find a guy who's a better friends with benefits, and doesn't treat you like shit.

    • Because if you know he's into women who are underweight/dangerously thin then you shouldn't take his advice when it comes to looks. If you're a healthy weight for your height then you should be good, and from what I've seen in the comments you're actually the same height as I am an dour healthy weight range is from 98 lbs. to 132 lbs. As long as you're somewhere around there you should be good.

  • i almost cried when i saw that then saw how skinny you were. if you want to loose weight go ahead, just dont let this get to you okay? you shouldn't try and change yourself because of other people, if YOU dont feel good about yourself or YOU dont feel confident then you can change dont let other people try and change you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • oh wow what a jerk. drop his ass

    0|0
    0|0
  • no screw him!!! you are perfectly fine! if he can't accept what is already there then forget about him. other guys will be happy to snatch you up.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Not loosing weight but maybe just do some exercices to ton everything up :)

    0|0
    0|0
  • Just once I wish an actual fat person would post this question. lol
    You look perfectly fine you can tone up but you don't need to lose weight at all.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You look fine and a perfectly normal weight. If anything, I think he just means to tone up a little!

    0|0
    0|0
  • I wear a size 4 and I'm fat. But you look wayyy smaller than me. Im 5'0 125 lbs i say u look good

    1|0
    0|0
Loading...