Why are insecure women so unattractive to men? And if I don't find myself to be as sexy as I wish I was, how can I become more secure and confident?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You can become more secure and confident for simply accepting yourself the way you are. You can still work on the things that are fixable.

    Honestly - I have dated a few "heavy set" gals in my life. What was amazing to me is that they were incredibly confident, nonetheless. They'd totally run around naked in front of me in the apartment - weren't afraid one bit to expose themselves to me - didn't hide anything. They knew they weren't Marilyn Monroe... I knew they weren't... and they knew that I knew they weren't. They just knew they were special in their own way (and they were correct).

    THAT - is sexy!

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    • But do you feel like if they looked better according to the medias standards that they would have been sexier to you and turned you on more?

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    • Who is perfect? I'm certainly not (and I look damn good).

      In fact... a bit of IMPERFECTION is sexy because it is REALITY. I'm going to tell you a secret... that little bit of cellulite on a girls ass (even a young girl's ass)? Yeah - THAT SHIT IS HOT!

      When a girl is confident enough to expose her flaws to you - well, it drives ME nuts. She doesn't do that with everyone... but when she does it with YOU - it's absolutely heaven.

      I once dated a bikini model too - for about 3 months... just long enough so all my friends could see her with me... that I could get a bikini model, you know? That chick was the lamest chick I ever dated. Totally self-absorbed... AND MONDO INSECURE. I mean - just look at the "How do I look" threads... really hot chicks... and they're posting asking if they're fat. Confidence and security have nothing to do with looks. It comes from within.

    • I love your response dude!

Most Helpful Girl

  • A reason could be that some men like women that can exude confidence because it can show them that they are comfortable in their body and in the choices they make. Confidence can also lead to success later on in life, such as nailing an interview for the job that you've always wanted. There are many different ways that you can become more secure and confident. Pick out some clothes and figure out which ones YOU think flatter you the best. Don't worry about what others would think. Wear that outfit and show that you are confident. Another way is to think about the positive side of things. Don't look for the negative in situations or yourself, look for the positive. Also, even if you aren't feeling that secure, wear a smile. A smile is your best accessory, so wear it everyday :).

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What Guys Said 10

  • Self confidence comes from within - If you feel confident, you look confident and that helps portray yourself more positively to people - I look at confidence as a cycle, have a little faith in yourself and that gives you more confidence which makes you look more confident which in turns gives you more faith in yourself and so on.
    Just take small steps and you will probably not even notice it but you will find yourself growing as a confident person.

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  • Generally, girls are insecure for a reason.

    Those reasons may vary, but the most common one is that she's not exactly pretty.
    While we like pretty girls.

    It's that simple, really.

    What you can do? Hit the gym, get some makeup on, fix your hair and just start socializing, no matter how awkward you are.

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    • Everyone has always said that I'm extremely pretty. And I do go to the gym, fix my hair, and do a really good job on my makeup. I just have this fear that everyone is lying to me to make me feel better. I'm so paranoid that I don't look as good as everyone says.

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    • It won't let me send anyone a message because it says I need more points or something... How else could I send one?

    • Upload it to imgur. com and send the link.
      You'll have to wait until tomorrow though for a response, since I'm going to bed now (midnight in here).

  • It's normal to have your insecurities, we all have them, but it becomes a turn off when you're constantly insulting yourself. That shit gets old real quick.

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  • if you don't love yourself how do you expect anyone else to/
    You need to tell yourself 2-3 times a day that you are a strange beautiful women.

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  • You have to believe in yourself. If you think low of yourself, your body will bring out the correspondent negative body language, which is making you unattractive. Attraction is 90% based on body language.

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  • i don´t think insecurities are unattractive. i quite like it acutally... i´m into the humble type.

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    • I see what you are saying.. but I've reached a point below being humble. Where I almost feel threatened by every other women I see who has something I don't have. Things that I believe would make me more attractive. That kind of insecurity is a major turn off. I know because it affects my relationship with my man. I know that I'm sexy in his eyes, I just kind of obsess about what I see as my imperfections to a point where I can't focus on anything else and to where I start to believe he must find me unattractive and not good enough.

    • well i´d gladly take the challange to help her be more confident about herself :P

  • Well i like girls who are confident but not cocky or arrogant it's disgusting as fuck
    however i still enjoy a girl who is a little bit shy (insecure) but at least she still believe in herself.

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  • Why are insecure men so UNATTRACTIVE TO MOST WOMEN

    HYPOCRITE!!!

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  • Insecure are turn off to me. I like a woman who is comfortable with who she is and her body, that is so hot that instantly gives me wood.

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    • But what about women who are ugly but are comfortable with how they look? That doesn't magically make them turn beautiful..

    • No but it makes them more desirable to me than an attractive insecure woman.

  • Make yourself more sexy

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What Girls Said 1

  • They are very attractive to predatory men.

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