Girls, Ladies please help?

I am what would be considered a shy guy. Although some girls do say they like shy guys, most don't for sure and I understand why. I guess there's a feeling of uncertainty and maybe a fear of issues that person might have. I for one have clinical depression and anxiety and I try not to show it or reveal it in anyway, but I always feel like a creep around girls. I'd like to pick up a girl in a club or bar but I just can't bring myself to try or when I do I feel like I'm scary. I'll put a picture on this post so you can see what I look like. Maybe you can give me advice on my appearance? I hate coming across as creepy and it makes me feel really shitty when I do, at least I feel like I come across that way. Can you give me some advice on approach techniques or just things that maybe girls look for or want to avoid when they see a guy? I'd really appreciate it :)
Girls, Ladies please help?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • My goodness, darling, stop being so hard on yourself with "coming off across as creepy" and that negative talk! You are very handsome and I can tell your exterior matches your interior as well. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that! I'd advise you to NOT change your appearance. Your facial hair and current hairstyle complement your bone structure and lovely eyes. I can't believe you are eighteen! Don't doom yourself because you are shy and struggle with anxiety and depression because, hey, guess what! I do too! And so does my best friend who is a great man like you (he's 23), very shy/reserved, struggles with anxiety, and that hasn't stopped him from receiving the best things in life be it girl friends or girlfriends, new friends, the compliments and looks from other girls. I hope that one day you'll be able to find someone, a friend, (hopefully a girl, *nudge!*) who also struggles with the same thing so you two can support each other. You have no idea how anxiety has become these days but please, don't set up yourself for doom. You have so much ahead of you so buckle your seatbelt, guard your heart, be smart, and get ready for the ride and enjoy it! :) <3

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Nah man, your appearence is fine. I don't want to make things weird but if I was into guys I would do you. :D
    I think the issue is in initiateing conversation and more importantly, being confident in yourself. If your not comfortable with you then they won't be. If you can be yourself then not only does that show confidence it also makes you much more approachable. Be confident (but not arrogant), people are kind of like dogs, if your tense they assume their is a reason for it and become tense themselves, it creates a loop that creates more tention and awkwardness. By being confident and open you "trick" the person into thinking that you must be confident for a reason while being open allows them to feel inclusion, your feelign good and you want them to feel good about themselves as well, if that makes sense. Take my oppening statement, what did it show you? Well one that I am comfortable with myself but that also tells you you can be comfortable with yourself, its an inclusive comment something that shows that we are all good here your free to be yourself. It was also complimentary (albiet a little messed up, I have a twisted sense of humor) which makes you feel good about yourself which in turn makes you much more inclined to want to interact with me becaus obviously you can be yourself speaking to me. That is essentially the trick to both women and people in general. We want to belong and we judge people upon our initial impression of them, if that impression is shyness, then obviously they want to keep to themselves and be away from others, if is openness then they are aproachable and willing to socialize. Hope that helps.

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What Girls Said 4

  • The fact of the matter is that if you're shy it's gonna be really hard to find a girl because most girls like the guy to initiate conversation. I would try to brush up on your social skills however possible. Also, when it comes to rejection, remember that everyone has experienced it. Yes, I mean everyone. So don't feel too bad and let it get to you if it happens. There is a girl out there for you, I know it!

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    • This is very true!

      It's the same formula for women too and somehow, rejection makes us more confident to keep approaching other people because one of them will eventually say yes.

      It's just a matter of trial and error, patience, a deep breath (haha), and just have a very casual talk. Genuinely ask them how they're doing and how their weekend was. Small talk is good even if it gets silly and that's when a guy asks them very subtlety, "Would you like to hang out sometime? We should exchange numbers," or something along the lines of that, @MindIrae.

      That's the next step for yourself to do to get to know women because there are many types out there but keep trying, okay? Rejection does hurt, you'll need just a bit to recover, and bam, next one. ;)

  • Physically, I think you're really attractive. I'm not doffing the beard though, either grow it out fully or shave it all off. I'm not into the Abraham Lincoln style beard.

    If you're genuine and sweet, there's no reason why anyone should think you're 'creepy'. Just be cool and you should be fine. If a girl thinks you're creepy for showing interest in her she's not worth your time.

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  • don't feel bad im the same way and i actually hide/isolate myself

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  • Be super confident. Even if a chick turns u down. And be kinda funny:)

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What Guys Said 1

  • Women are going to find that beard ridiculous, so if your goal is impressing them (and losing your own identity and dignity) then shave it off and wear brighter clothes.

    The hardest part is going to be surrounding yourself with more people, doing more sociable things, and getting over your fear of rejection by talking to chicks over and over and over again. Nobody can tell you how to achieve this, and I know how difficult it is since I used to be just like you (except instead of wanting to talk to girls but coming across as a creep I had girls throwing themselves at me and I came across as an asshole by telling them to fuck off on their bike somewhere).

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