How to overcome low self-esteem?

So I've been bullied all through primary school and some years in high school, and it was always the same insult 'ugly' over and over again... no one liked me and I didn't have any friends. in my 3rd year of High School I got some really great friends and they helped me quite a bit, and that summer puberty kicked in suddenly making me attractive (that's what people've said). After that a lot of guys started having crushes on me, I got a new job and even there a lot of guys had crushes on me and started flirting with me, and now in college most guys in my class have a crush on me.

But I'm still convinced I'm extremely ugly to the point where I'll almost apologize to people for being in the same room as me, I do have friends but I'm afraid they'll leave me because I feel like I just don't fit in with how pretty they are.
I have days where I'll look in the mirror and I'm like 'damn..' but it disappears as soon as I have to be around other people.

And I don't know what to do about this? I'd love to be confident and happy and social etc.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • take sun bathe... jog in the garden... sleep alone... don't watch tv... don't think about sex

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I know exactly how you feel. My story is similar, except it wasn't peers calling me ugly, but my mom, comparing me to my beautiful older sister. I had almost exactly the same experience, where when I turned 12, 13, I started getting a lot of male attention. And by the time I turned 16-18 all guys around me were attracted to me. But it took me a long time to really accept out that they were genuinely attracted to me. I couldn't believe any guy could look at me in that way, cos I believed deep down I was ugly.

    I am 31 now, I still get male attention. But unfortunately this insecurity about my looks never went away. I shy away from taking photographs. I have to mentally steel myself to do it. And I am overly critical about my looks. Even now when a man compliments me, I can't help feeling surprised.

    So yeah, I think when the damage is done to you at a young age, the insecurity never goes away. I have read of studies that proved this too. However I think it has gotten slightly better, mainly I think because of a few relationships where the man has told me over and over that I am beautiful.

    I think what's important is to surround yourself with people who love you and say nice things about you. Keep people who criticize your looks out of your life.

    Lastly I would say, look at this as a blessing. Girls who have always known they are beautiful or falsely believe themselves to be so, (cos of parents or others drilling into their heads) tend to be a bit arrogant. They don't appreciate it when people compliment them, they take it for granted. While those who deep down don't believe ourselves to be pretty, get told we are beautiful, we are very appreciative and grateful. Guys like that quality...

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What Guys Said 3

  • Start training and eating healthy. Best solution to everything! :)

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  • Can you message me. I wanna know more about this.

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  • You're a pretty good story writer.

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What Girls Said 0

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