Help with self-consciousness?

I have a huge scar on my back from my scoliosis surgery last year. Normally, I don't mind little scars and different things like that. But, this is on my whole back, and it's very noticeable. People at my school will always point it out and even teachers point it out to me. I always hate my scar and will wear clothes to cover it up, but sometimes people will pull up the back of my shirt to see it. I've been told that my scar is hideous and that I just always need to cover it up, but it's hard to. I used to not care about it but now I'm always wearing sweatshirts so it's covered. I don't really know how to deal with the other people in my school with my scar because I've only had the scar for a little over a year. It's just really complicated for me because of so many people pointing it out.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You'll get used to the comments eventually. It's nothing to be self conscious about. It's there to stay and you'll get so used to it you won't hardly think about it at some point. I have like a 3 inch scar from surgery where my first rib was removed and a neck muscle and that's never bothered me. It's noticeable with certain shirts but I haven't received any comments but I'm not in high school anymore. I'm sure high schoolers are more likely to point that stuff out. you should make a point to tell people not to lift up the back of your shirt. That's inexcusable for people to do that

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What Guys Said 10

  • Wow, that's terrible that people act that way! Besides being totally rude, they're being extremely immature (especially the teachers!).

    Try not to worry about it, really. It's not going to make much difference as far as a guy is concerned. Any guy worth being with will not be bothered by it, and if it really bothers you or if it's your sort of style, get a tattoo that works around the scar so it's part of a design or something like that.

    I'm sure it's really hard on you right now but keep your head up and know that in just a few more years (still the beginning of your life, big picture...) it will have healed more and won't be as noticeable and the people you'll be surrounded by will (hopefully) be adults who don't react like little kids about stuff like this.

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  • Terribly rude, especially the ones that lift your shirt. Sorry you have to go to school with such assholes. But you can take some solace that it is on your back. Many women have scars just as bad and even worse on their chests. (heart surgery for one) I am sure that is worse for them.

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  • First of all, nobody should EVER pull up the back of your shirt to see the scar. That is incredibly rude of them to do that. You should also feel free to tell your teachers that you would prefer they did not bring attention to it.

    Aside from that, the scar is a part of you. Hopefully you will learn to accept it, own it, and wear it with pride. I would never let a scar affect my opinion of somebody. In fact, I may gain more respect for them and the struggle they had gone through.

    Hold your head high!

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  • You should ask yourself what bothers you the most, the people pointing it out all the time or the scar itself?

    Based on that you can make the right decision.

    That scar is a part of who you are, some people even find scars atractive but if it really bothers you that much i would suggest you have a check up to see if it is indeed possible to remove it with laser or any other method.

    Remember, the most important thing is that you are happy about it and not what people think of it ;)

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  • I have scars from broken arm surgery, some other minor things and my wrist and other places have self inflicted scars (I used to cut myself, depression is really a magical thing)

    And being 120% honest I don't care if people see my scars, to me it makes zero difference. My scars are my badges of pain, injuries and what not so I carry them proudly even the ones that I self inflicted, as they help me remember of the pain and despair I went truth.

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  • They're just bugging you because you seem to hide it so much. Just don't care about them seeing, be proud of the fact that you survived and didn't die in the process. Some people would see it as a battle scar, not as "something ugly".

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  • it doesn't matter what people think. if that's you in your profile pic then you're beautiful, don't let what people think stop you from wearing what you want. I have a giant nasty looking scar on my leg from a big metal peg and I got picked on for it, and I stopped wearing short for about 2 years, then I wore shorts and people started talking about my scar, and I told them to "fuck off" and then they stopped. (I only got in one fight, but that wasn't just about my scar) don't let other people control you. I hope I helped :)

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  • I have a massive dent scar across my abdomen from having had surgery as a baby,
    Do what I do and tell people you were in a cutlass fight and when they say so you lost, respond with, not really, the other guy got decapitated

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  • Its just skin thats discolored and mostly dead... Apsolutely nothing to it if I saw it id ask where came from. (you could make a story id believe it lol.) It wouldn't change the fact i'd still treat you kindly. Scars dont really change or go away they are there and you should just learn to accept it. The more confidence you have the less people will challenge you.

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  • Wear it proudly. It's a mark of how strong you have been, of what hardships you have endured. There is nothing wrong with having to suffer for a while, and carrying the scars of finally being able to beat it.

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