Should I work on how I look or my personality?

Personality:
I'm super shy, I like green tea, painting, any non Justin beiber related music, cats...
My favourite colours are all of the pastil ones plus burgendy, navy and green
I love animals and I hate animal cruelty more than anything hense why I'm a vegitarien
I also love anime like vampire knight, black butler and ouren highschool host club
Tim burtain movies are my favourite!
I love interesting people and people who don't judge anyone for anything :3
Should I work on how I look or my personality?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Neither, really. Your looks are great. Your personality seems great. There isn't anything that needs to change.

    Being shy can be a bit of a problem, but I don't think that it is necessarily part of your personality. Are you really shy around good friends? Are you shy around your parents? If so, then yes, it could be something a bit more core that needs working on. If not, then it is just a sign of introversion, and there is nothing wrong with being an introvert. There will be a bunch of particular issues that all introverts end up having to deal with, that you will also have to deal with, but acknowledging that as being part of yourself, and looking for ways other people have dealt with those issues, would be a more productive approach. It's not something you'll be able to change, and if you keep looking at it like a personality flaw that you need to change, it can start damaging your self-confidence and self-esteem, which makes the problems worse, and makes you feel even more withdrawn.

    Wanting to 'work on things' is a positive trait. It shows a desire for self-improvement. But thinking you need to improve things that are core to you is a path to self-esteem issues. You need to realize that your looks are great, and your personality is totally fine, and that what you want to be improving are just extra things... learning extra skills, getting better at a hobby, learning to be more appreciative for the things you have, setting short/medium/long term goals and working on plans to achieve them... the improvement is great, but it needs to be pointed in the right direction or it can do damage to you instead of spur on the growth that it is intending.

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    • Thank you! That was actually really helpful
      . I'm not shy around my friends but I am the most awkward person ever talking to new people or even people I know of but not really friends with. I'm not shy around my family but I am with my relatives (aunties uncles cousins grandparent's) I didn't know if its beacauw they live far away so I only see them every few months or if I'm just really really shy. I do tend to dwell on my flaws and issues and it has really messed me up to the point where I have no self esteem or confidence but it effects me so much that I can't stop thinking about it. But I paint and do photography and mountain climb to take my mind off things so that's been helping :)

    • You're welcome. And yes, that sounds about right. Most younger people are usually pretty awkward, and most introverts continue to feel awkward pretty much their whole life. I was a family thing this past weekend, with a bunch of extended family that I only see once or twice a year, and I still felt awkward. I hated every minute of it. But get me beside someone that I know, talking about issues that interest me, and I'll talk for hours and have a great time.

      Self-esteem and confidence issues are real problems, problems that affect most young women, and they can really spiral you out of control if you let them take over. That's partially why I suggested taking a different mental approach to the idea of self-growth. It's a subtle difference, but can have real long-term benefits. And those all sound like great things to help - a nice mix of things that keep your body healthy while also giving you some creative expression.

    • It sounds to me like you are really already doing everything right. I think that it is simply a matter of finding someone to help you with the self-esteem issues, someone to help you slowly build up some confidence and let you see yourself the way others see you, instead of seeing yourself not living up to an idealized form in your own head. That would be the only thing I think you would need. And that's not a flaw on your part, that's something that most younger women are in need of.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you are perfect. No need to be worried, if you are lol. The only thing I would say is that you look older for an 18 year old, but that's not bad I just thought I should say that.

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    • Hahaha really? I'm actually 15!! I didn't know if this sight would let mW join if I was under a certain age so I just picked a random date 😂 I didn't even know what age I had picked until after I joined and saw my profile😂😂

    • haha well maybe it's just me. But I don't know you just look mature lol.

    • I know!! That tends to happen in my photos, but I'm real life you can tell I'm younger😂😂 its weird af

What Guys Said 31

  • I think both are good - It is a classic cliché but it makes a lot sense "Be Yourself" - Don't change for anybody but yourself - If you feel that it will improve you, do it but only if you think it will make you a better person - Don't change to get a BF/GF or more friends.
    You look great and sound lovely so a decent guy/girl and true friends will appreciate this.

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  • I hope you take this as a compliment, but you look like a young Alanis Morissette. You sound and look pretty much perfect. I would just work on the shy stuff.

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    • Aww thanks! Yeah, being shy has always been my main issue, always. Its probably the thing I need to change most

  • I don't think you need to work on anything! You have a wicked sense of homour. "Non Justin Beiber music"! That's so funny!

    I think you have a lovely personality, especially how you feel about animals. You are also an attractive lady.

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  • you sound okay.
    you shouldn't change just to please others just for yourself.
    one or two things we may butt heads on but I wouldn't want you to change who you're
    they're what makes you who you are.

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  • Your look is fine. Are you talking edward scissor hands tim Burton. Or nightmare before Christmas Tim. Burton

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    • Thank you!! Edward scissorhands! But I did like the cartoon one like nightmare before Christmas when I was little

    • Yea whats your favorite movie?

  • Whatever you choose, just remember. Looks will attract a guy, but personality is what makes him stay.

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  • I'm not just saying this to make you feel better but you look very pretty. What's more important the inside of a cup being clean or the outside?

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  • You look great. You sound great. You are great.

    Need I say more?

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  • you look very nice and you seems to be a nice person so what you should do in my opion is just to be you

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  • Your look and your personality are both amazing you just need to find a compatible guy for yourself...

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  • you seem like a interessting and sweet girl, so i would say no, no need to change.
    as long as you dont try to push someone into being a vegitarien, it should be ok^^
    e. g. i love meant nothing can change that^^

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    • Thank you☺ I would never push anyone into doing anything they didn't want to mainly beacaue I'm so scared of confrontation haha😂

    • i guessed that much because you love "people who don't judge anyone for anything " so it would be obvious that you think the same :D

  • You're very beautiful and you shouldn't worry about your looks or personality.
    You're perfect just the way you are.

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  • Your personality sounds awesome! And you're REALLY pretty! You shouldn't change a single thing about yourself

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  • Neither. Keep both and you'll be happier

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  • you can't summarise a personality in a few words and then expect people to be able to judge it properly, so its hard to say anything at all about that

    you dont need to work on your looks, at any rate

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    • Um yeah... That's why I said the main points of me. If I did my life story it would take until next Christmas😂

    • you're quite right; you cannot ask someone to judge your personality unless they know you

  • Spellings, work on your spellings.

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  • Green tea? Dealbreaker.

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  • You look so perfect & you are so cute too.

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  • you already looking good so you know now what to do

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  • I love bieber

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  • You mentioned Tim Burton and Black Butler so your personality is already perfect in my eyes and you're super cute. So maybe just work on not being so shy, that's what keeps me back so much

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  • I think you are perfect

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  • You already seem cool in both regards to me. Always make personality your priority but don't forget looks either. However personality is the more important.

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  • You look alright, though your personality doesn't stand out too much, but that's not an easy thing to judge here

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  • Neither, there is nothing wrong with the way you look; that's for damn sure. You also don't have any bad personality traits. You're fine just the way you are.

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  • You look beautiful so I'd say work on personality

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  • What if it was kosher meat. Kosher meat is prepared a certain way, which makes it less inhumane

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    • It doesn't make a difference to me. As long as your killing something its never inhuman

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    • Trapped inside your box, eh?

    • Is box the only main word in your vocabulary? Or are you just ignorent?

  • How about no?

    Or in other words, I don't think either one needs work. You seem like an interesting person, and your picture is pretty.

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  • You look awesome so just work on your personality

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    • Okay! Which part of my personality should I work on?

    • Super shy party obviously.

      Do you dislike super hairy guy?

    • Yeah I'm working on that.

      And I don't I know. It would depend who they were and their personality and stuff. Why do you ask?😂😂

  • I'll help you work on not being shy

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What Girls Said 7

  • You dont need to work on anything ;)

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  • You're already gorgeous, established
    plus you can't really change your look all too much.
    Personality is what draws people to you, but judging from what you've written here, you're quite the character already ! :D

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  • You are beautiful... pretty cool how your eyes match your hair :D If you wanna change anything about personality, work on what you consider personality flaws about yourself whatever they may be. If you want to be less shy and get to know more people, thats a nice place to start. I used to be very shy in high school and now am rather outgoing. You can become what you want! As for appearance, only work on what you want to work on. I think you look nice as you are.

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  • You're pretty and sound like you'd be a good person to have as a friend :) don't change anything!

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  • you are beautiful and seem really interesting! but maybe you can work on that shyness guys like outgoing or fun girls but hey what do i know

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    • Thank you! But whos to say I'm not fun haha. I do a lot of crazy stuff XD

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    • i am shy too in public except when im with my friends i never said u were boring :P
      are u shy in school?

    • Not fun = boring though😂
      But yeah, school is when I'm shy. Everywhere else I'm pretty much fine

  • I don't think you need to change anything. You seem so cool and yoy look amazing so don't worry about ur looks 😊

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  • Why not work on both

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