Am I an ugly girl? 24 years old, never kissed, dated, had a boyfriend, and still a virgin (photos)?

Hi everyone :) I'm 24 1/2 years old, and have never kissed, dated, come close to having a boyfriend, or anything. I'm still a virgin too. Guys don't really ask me out and I never notice them looking at me. I feel so ashmed of myself, that I'm nearly 25 and have had no experience. It makes me feel worthless, like I'm not normal compared to other girls, or like less of a woman.

I have attached two photos of me from this past weekend. Can you please give me comments about my appearence? I'm wearing clothes I would nortmally wear and minimal makeup.

Do you think I'm ugly or unattractive? Why don't guys like me or talk to me? How come 10-13 year old girls can get boyfriends and I can't? Please give me some advice of what I can do. I feel so sad right now. Be honest.

http://imgur.com/rVTYSGs

http://imgur.com/ptwTdDp

http://imgur.com/PRKhoP5

Thank you, and happy holidays.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "I feel so ashmed of myself, that I'm nearly 25 and have had no experience. It makes me feel worthless, like I'm not normal compared to other girls, or like less of a woman."

    And you should NOT feel that way. Seriously, that's what jackasses peddling the latest shitty American Pie movie want you to think, but they're a bunch of fools.

    It's normal to want to feel loved, feel beautiful, feel wanted. Us guys have the same desires. We ALL have those desires. And it's okay to feel upset if you haven't experienced any of that by the time you're 25. I'm 26 and I haven't experienced any of that either, and so have a lot of other people.

    Think of it like this; a lot of guys and girls HAVE had those experiences and haven't ended up so well. Some are baby daddies, some are going through constant drama because of obligations left over from past relationships, and some keep chasing after people because they can't find "the one" so they don't respect themselves and just hook up with anybody because they've convinced themselves they NEED to have someone special in their life.

    But none of us really NEED someone in our life like that. It's okay to want to have someone, but you will find someone eventually... it just takes time for the right person to come along. Until then, there's a LOT more to life than moping about not being in a relationship. You can focus on furthering your career, getting a steady job, finding gainful employment, playing video games, vacationing in far-off destinations, developing relationships with your family and friends, etc.

    I've been where you are before. It sucks. It really sucks and it's painful to go through, but once you realize that the whole "you're a loser if you don't have a relationship by X year of your life" thing is a lie made up by playground bullies to shame and humiliate others... well, you'll find that there's a lot more to life than all that.

    And you really do look fine! In fact, if I met you at college or something, I'd probably NOT ask you out because A) I have no confidence (that's why I don't have a girlfriend lol) and B) you look like someone who's so attractive, I'd figure you were already taken! xD

    So please, remain calm, and don't compare yourself to everyone in a relationship. Not everyone in a relationship is happy all the time, and not everyone who's single needs to be constantly depressed! :)

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    • Thank you so much for your generous and thoughtful comment :) It was really, really helpful. Although I'm sad you said you wouldn't ask me out if you saw me, lol. Anyways, I have a fulfilling career at a hospital. I have finished graduate school on a scholarship, but I'm just hoping I can find someone to share it all with. Thank you again.

What Guys Said 30

  • I looked at all three of your pictures. Your physical appearance isn't your problem - you are pretty, thin, nice boobs, etc. You are more than attractive enough physically to get plenty of male interest.

    What you clearly lack is CONFIDENCE in yourself, and that comes across loud and clear in your body language. The third pic practically SCREAMS "timid and unconfident" - the eyes tell the story. That's a turn-off for most guys, just as a lack of confidence in guys is a turn-off for most girls.

    I'm FAR, FAR from a fashion expert, but your clothes could use some improvement. Your shirt is big and loose, like you are trying to hide your body (as if you are ashamed of it), and that also sends a message to guys. A fitted button-down shirt that covered you, but showed off the shape of your small waist and nice boobs would send a message that you are much more confident, and you'd get more attention. You'll need to ask the girls for more specific fashion advice (again, not my strength), but you need to be aware of the subtle messages that these things send.

    You also need to practice a LOT with flirting. You don't have to have any specific goals of getting any particular guy, you just need to get comfortable being fun, relaxed, and casual even while being a bit sexual. That will greatly enhance your confidence and guys will pick up on that, and it will generate much more interest from guys.

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    • Thanks, I will try my best. I feel like I don't have a chance with decent guys, because guys only like girls who look like supermodels. If you have any other advice for me, let me know.

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    • I don't know! How can girls in elementary and middle school easily get boyfriends and I can't? I never even heard a rumor of guys liking me in HS and never got asked to prom or anything. i can't imagine any guy having a crush on me. It makes me so sad!

    • Again, you're blaming it on looks (something girls frequently do), when the real issue is that you need to be more self-confident and more socially outgoing. Get in the conversations (participate) and let guys see you smiling and happy and laughing (you'll seem fun), and when guys engage you in conversation, if you like one of them, flirt a bit or otherwise make it CLEAR (and guys don't get subtlety, so you need to make it CLEAR) that you like him. If you don't do that, most guys will just assume you aren't interested, and won't make an effort to approach you or ask you out - most guys hate and fear rejection from girls more than anything else, and if you don't give them the signs that you're likely to say "yes", they'll just avoid the rejection by not approaching you.

      Just because guys are expected to do the "asking out" doesn't mean girls don't have a role to play in the initial courtship - and if you don't do your part, you can't expect success.

  • I'm already 25 and in the same situation. Not being approached or whatever does not necessarily mean it's your look. Could be other things. I don't think it's really anything to feel embarrassed or really upset about. It will come when the time is right and the guy is right. I have no problem admitting that I have not experienced those things. And you shouldn't either. It's best to experience it with the right person when the time is right than with the wrong and too early. So no worries. Focus on your career and whatever else you do on a normal basis. During your free time hang out with friends. Might find a guy who ends up interested in you and you have interest in him.

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  • If that's really you, wow. There's definitely nothing wrong with your appearance. You're quite good looking and don't look intimidating or unapproachable.

    I'm surprised you don't get approached, but if you don't go to places like bars and clubs I can see how that might happen. I don't really meet many people, but I think that it's because I don't go to bars and clubs. It's not easy connecting with people in everyday life because there's so much uncertainty. I'm sure guys have thought about approaching you before, but they don't because they're too shy and worry about bothering you. Personally, if I saw you, say, sitting at a cafe or in a library and not looking busy or anything, I would probably approach you and say hi.

    I'd say they only *definite* way to find a guy is to do the approaching. Other than that, looking open and approachable in public places should help... although in those pictures I'd say you already do. I'd say don't worry about it so much though. You're good looking—sometimes the right situation just takes a little while to come around.

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  • For starters, YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS and never think that way. Fuck society and whatever it dictates. Secondly you are not half bad looking, if you have boobs, ass and a vagina you're a woman, and that's final so don't go saying "less of a woman".

    I'm 23 in couple of days and I lost my virginity to my ex 6 months ago. We broke up 5 weeks ago, so I'm back to being single and I'm probably will be this way for long time, given that it took me long time to actually go on a date with a girl.

    You on the other hand are a decent looking girl. Maybe you're going for the wrong type of the guy, and 10-13 year olds can get boyfriend because most of them are pretty slutty this days (I live down by 3 schools and I see this everyday).

    My honest advice? Try going for a different crowd of guys, someone who share similar hobbies as you or join few clubs here and there. I have no doubt you will find someone.

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  • I think you look very beautiful, it is not your looks but a case of you not having met right guy yet.

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  • It's a crime for a beautiful girl like u to be sad! I don't know where you're from but the guys there must be blind to pass u by. I love your look

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    • thanks a lot, i hope other guys like my look too... I hope ur not the only one!

  • I guess you're just as lucky as I am guess, lol. I'm the same as you still single, still a virgin, never been kissed, dated girlfriend or anything.

    -You're a pretty girl, you just haven't found the right guy yet.

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    • OH and I kind of have lacked confidence also in the past. It's always better for me when I keep a positive attitude and perhaps make jokes to lighten the mood.

    • why do u think girls who are in HS and in heir teens can get good boyfriends and I can't?

    • Maybe it has something to do with the fact that there's literally hundreds of guys for them to choose from in high school.

      As for me, the Girls I liked in HS were taken and as for other girls, they might have been in my grade, but I never met them. I went to 2 high school and the second was worse since I hardly knew anyone. There were girls in college, but after that it's like everybody goes their separate ways and disappears.

      -Sometimes I think people are just so busy these days that they don't have time to have fun and meet people. I guess you and I are examples. Me more so... I'm older. ;)

  • 1. Your actually very attractive.
    2. guys most likely staring when your not looking.
    3. Possibilities of why guys aren't trying to date you.
    A. Attitude of a bitch (no offense, I never met you, so I don't know.)
    B. Too attractive and some guys are intimidated by you. (Does happen)
    C. You might be shy, this makes it harder.
    D. You might give off you already have a boyfriend.
    E. Combination/all of the others
    4. You could always start the conversation. ( I work at Wal-Mart, so it perfect to build communication skills... they are key in life)
    5. Are you Arabic by any chance?( if so some people might not want to date you based on race, answer to this... fuck'em, you don't need them.)
    6. Can't think of any more... hope this was helpful.
    Happy holidays.

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  • Well, I'm going through somewhat of similarity as you are. I'm still a virgin and I'm about to turn 26. I've never had a serious relationship as well. But to answer your question, you aren't ugly or unattractive. I think you're very attractive. But maybe you're not really seeing the guys that might find you cute actually checking you out. Maybe you're around a lot of guys who could be shy and are afraid to approach you. You should get into more activities that allows you to meet new people.

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  • Your beautiful in my opinion, maybe your just not meeting the right types of people... I don't know :/, I don't understand why you have never had a boyfriend in all honesty :S but you honestly shouldt feel sad or down because you are a very attractive woman

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  • You aren't ugly, I'd say the only problem would be your approachability, how often you hang out with guys etc, if guys don't know you exist they won't ask you out (exaggeration).

    TL;DR: Try going to more parties, join random clubs, flirt more.

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  • Hmu ill smashh

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  • You look decent... but I think you might need to work on your self confidence... I would say you are average looking, but definitely good looking enough to get a boyfriend, You can approach guys yourself, which you don't like...

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  • Your confidence is weighing you down, because you are not ugly at all.

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    • lack of confidence*

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    • thanks, but other girls also lack self-confidence and they can get boyfriends.

    • True. Though some girls are shy but seem approachable. Also, some confidence and also lack personality so they overcompensate being too approachable or too easy.

      You certainly lack confidence basing myself on what you wrote. Or worst yet, appear "unapproachable" to some guys. Maybe if you can try being more open without overdoing it, and maybe you can try to look more approachable, regardless if you're shy or not.

  • You're pretty, you will find a guy just start flirting.

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  • You're not ugly, I find you very attractive.

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  • You look pretty to me. Just try being more social or asking the guy out for once. Happy holidays

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  • you look like you should be able to get guys. whats the problem?

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  • You're not ugly, I think you're beautiful :)

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  • You look good to me sweetheart.

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  • Below average but your skinny which is good enough for most guys since that's what most guys go for anyways the body.

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    • what can I do to look better? What about me is below average?

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    • Yes, you're right but just give me an answer please!

    • I don't know your face is like uneven, your nose is too big and the shape looks crooked and your eyes are unappealing to me.

  • Honestly, yes you are very ugly

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  • Don't worry about your looks, I think you really cute, just be confident and patient

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  • its not your looks, the reason for the lack of participation by guys its just bad luck, a lot of girls and guys are actually in the same situation they are just embarrassed to say anything. your clothing style is pretty cool, you look like an intelligent lady am i right? , you might intimidate men, everyone time comes when you meet someone, you are just 25 still very young

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    • Thanks a lot, I hope i do meet someone. Yes, maybe it's more common that I think and people just don't want to talk about it or lie. Yes, I'm intelligent, I finished my master's last year and work at a hospital.

    • good for you, im about to finish my masters, u never know we might meet one day lol. im not really the "Party" type of person so i dont meet people at clubs, but i have asked girls out in random places, my last girlfriend i met in barnes and nobles i had the courage to go out there and ask her out, most men get scared of rejection so they linger to much, if you are interested in a man just look at him and smile, keep smiling , and if the guy does not make his move to tell you the truth move on, it tell you he does not have the confidence or the courage to believe in himself, boys are shy but men get what they want.

  • Very cute! You dress a bit conservatively. Are you not putting yourself out there? The age you start dating has a lot to do with your personality and personal circumstances, so don't compare yourself to other women! If you want concrete suggestions:
    1) you are very cute the way you are. You actually look uncannily like my best friend. Acknowledge that you are pretty. Maybe spend some time looking in the mirror and find your biggest assets, then play them up.
    2) If you MUST change something, maybe consider some of these things my bestie has done to augment her natural beauty:
    a) put light coloured eyeshadow on the inner corners of your eyes and darker coloured eyeshadow on the outer corners, as this will give you wider-set eyes, which for some reason really works on my friend. If you want to go really detailed, break your eye up into thirds and only put darker colours on the outer third, keep it light on the inner third, and put a mix of your light and dark pigment on the middle third.
    b) find someone who is good with make-up and practice contouring. Some guys aren't into make-up, but if you're out on the prowl, make-up is an easy way to be eye-catching and to have fun with your look.
    c) avoid dark lipstick and lip-liner. In one of the pics you were using a shade that was too dark for you! You are young, so go for lighter/more youthful colours
    3) Try asking someone to coffee/lunch yourself! It's not as uncommon as you may think, and maybe you'll find someone who is worth dating if you take the initiative.
    4) Try online dating. There are so many niche dating sites these days, just about everyone can find someone else who has exactly the same interests as them.
    5) Present yourself in a way that makes you happy and comfortable. Happy, confident, comfortable people are natural magnets for friends and potential dates.

    Remember that dating in your early 20s is not that important, but if you want to speed things up maybe try speed dating, joining a club, or asking your friends to set you up on double dates. As a young, attractive woman, you've got so many options, it's silly to despair! Best of luck!

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    • Hi, and thanks so much for the thoughtful response. I will take ur advice on the makeup, although I normally keep it minimal (BB cream, blush, brown eyeliner, and lip liner/stick), I'll take ur makeup advice. Also, I'm dressed conservatively bc it's winter :)

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    • And anyways, I don't think guys think I'm pretty at all! No one has ever looked at me that way, and even when I was in middle and HS I never heard of rumors of a guy liking me. I was always the ugly friend.

    • Well, in those pictures you're objectively pretty, so I'd say maybe you just need to expose yourself to a wider dating pool.

  • Your have a very deep look in your eyes which is very beautiful!
    if you liked someone really give them some signals.. they won't hesitate to ask you out

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    • Thank you, what signals should I send?

    • You're welcome you look pretty confident girl it's great just don't let these negative thoughts come to your mind!
      Be touchy but not too much, smile keep smiling , maintain eye contact , ask them personal questions but don't go all the way at once , don't be available all the time play a little bit hard to get haha , add them on social media? sometimes boys are shy to make a move , make plans to hang out it's not necessarily to choose a specific day or time let the balls in their courts and they will ask for your number to set up a date with you!
      Good luck beauty!

  • your just too beautiful and gorgeous, don't ever say you are ugly again!, never ever again!!!, i would totally date and be in a relationship with you in a heart-beat!, and i'm still single as well, don't feel normal being my age having not had a relationship yet.

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    • thanks a lot for answering my post. I feel totally left behind because I'm nearly 25 and have enver even come close to having a boyfriend. Glad I'm not alone!

  • you're cute. dont ever let your current circumstances weight you down or push you for something less than what you you deserve.

    being a virigin does not make u less of a human.

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  • stop asking this question!

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  • you're not ugly. I would ask you out if only i know you in real life.

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What Girls Said 8

  • #1 You are a VERY beautiful girl! #2 don't be in a hurry to lose your virginity give it to someone that REALLY deserves it and appreciate it when you are ready not because you are in a hurry. #3 Looks for the way you dress you are a decent well educated girl and most of guys are looking for a "all exhibit leaving nothing to the imagination" girl, those are easy girls to get laid and if they don't want anything serious just friendship with benefits you don't want that kind of relationship they know that better for them to stay away. Just go out more but make a good judgement about where you go and the type of person that you meet!. If you meet a guy in a club don't argue with him later if he is in a relationship with you and want to go to the club with or without you. Remember people don't change, they adapt if they are in love, so try to find someone with your same interest and likes and have fun, don't rush yourself it will come. :)

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    • but don't you think I am too old? I will be 25 next year? Do I look 24 years old or do I look older in age? Thank you for your response.

    • 25 years old you are great! now is the perfect time to start experiencing life, you are not a teenager that makes decision without thinking on consequences, you are not in your late 30s or 40s that biological clock is running to expiration date and you are in a hurry to have babies or to late. You are in your prime, good age know how to think and take decisions by yourself. Don't fol yourself because you see girls under 20 sexually active, that is not the normal is just that society is out of control. You are on perfect age you are in the prime of youth!

  • You are the wrong type of Asian girl in a Western society basically. East Asians are hot right now and people go for some East Asian girls either because they have yellow fever or they have white supremacy issues. I know a lot of couples like that, they want the attention of interracial dating to be cool but don't love the other person without exoticizing them. You are probably Muslim which is alarming to a lot of people cause they stereotype your religion. Also, Indian looking people are thought to not date, so no one asks. You are a minority and you should be proud of it because these are things you cannot control. I face some of the same assumptions in the dating world, people think I am closed off when I am not just cause I come from a different culture. A guy I liked recently probably decided against me because our difference was too much for him. It happens. All you can do is love yourself and be more aware of the guys that do like you. You are attractive, it has nothing to do with your look.

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  • Hell-to-the-MAJOR-NO. You literally have a exotic-sultry look but with elegance also. You also look well educated and intelligent.

    Guys can and DO get intimated by beauty so that may be your case. I'm 19 and still a virgin and don't really give too hoots. I suggest you to not worry to much and trust that a guy will come along for you. Enjoy your freedom while you can!

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    • Thanks a lot for your response, but you don't think it's weird or unusual at my age? Guys have never shown any interest in me, not even as a joke or prank. I have never even heard rumors. Are you sure guys don't think I'm ugly?

  • You're super pretty. Maybe you should try approaching them instead of waiting for one to come to you? They may be shy or intimidated. But I think more importantly you should start gaining more confidence in yourself.

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  • You're beautiful and your purity makes you even more attractive.

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  • What's the problem virgin Mary? Can't get layed? You're so ugly and a turnoff that guys don't want you?

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  • you're one of the most beautiful people i've ever seen :~)

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    • Aw, thanks a lot. it's hard to believe that with some of the comments I've gotten though, but thank yuo for responding (even if you're just being nice).

  • Your pretty girl

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    • Wouldn't you sash your mans x box if he played to much

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