I've been gaining a lot weight lately. I hate myself and how I look, and feel super insecure. I know that I am very fat and I am not assuming many guys would like me this fat. But there is this one guy who is very nice and wants to date me. He is fit and good looking so I don't get it. I can't believe he would actually like me!! He even keeps saying I'm beautiful and sexy. I'm thinking about breaking up with him because I can't understand what he sees in me.
Do you think it's possible that some guy might like me and find me attractive even like this? (I'm dieting and hopefully getting skinnier someday)
PS. I don't normally dress like this but better clothes...
Most Helpful Guy
I dated a girl was like you if not heavier. She was confident in herself and we had great chemistry. Im not going to lie a lot of guys are shallow and might reject you. But in that case they weren't good guys for you anyway. Find a guy who likes you for the person you are. Then if later you both want to get healthier worry about that then. Don't let weight stop you. There are guys that will like you for you who are. Get healthier for yourself not for a guy. Don't hate yourself but be aware of the problem. If I were dating you I'd probably want for both of us to lose weight. Not because of looks but for health. That's what id worry about if we were dating. I'd want my girlfriend to feel great and be healthy so I can be with her as long as possible. The same thing would be true if she were too skinny.3
Most Helpful Girl
Hey. I'm going to get a little bit honest here and I'm sure people won't like it.
"Am I too fat for any guy to find me attractive?"
Absolutely not. There are all sorts of men and women out there, little and large and people will like all sorts of different things. Some like the colour red, some blue. Just because one doesn't, doesn't mean another won't.
Should you lose weight?
Yes. But we all have down times, rough patches, health problems, etc etc. An ideal life and body weight is impossible. Everyone deals differently.
At the end of the day YOU are the constant factor in any relationship. Not your waistline, not your boob size, YOU. Your personality, the way you love, the way you make people smile.
I can completely sympathise. This last year has taken a huge battering on me. I've been on anti depressants, birth control, gained weight, had breathing issues so I had to stop exercising, etc etc. I've gained a lot. And I feel and look disgusting. And you know what my boyfriend said? He said "so you've had a rough year, and yes you've gained weight. But you are still the loving girl I met 2 years ago with a heart of gold". And you know what? He's right.
As long as you're trying and wanting to change things, that's enough. It will happen. But don't beat yourself up for every slip on a bad day, every time you couldn't raise the energy for that workout. Changing your life does not happen overnight.
Everyone in the world is judgmental. They have no idea the issues you've faced, the struggles you've overcome, the mountains you've climbed. There is more to life than your waistband, so yes, try to lose weight, but don't let it control you.
Good luck sweetheart, and I will be joining you on this journey. Best of luck xx1