Most Helpful Guy
On the pull, eh? You need the lad uniform.
Hair: Half a tube of gel. Spike the hell out of it, or form it into some kind of spike at the front.
Shirt: Collared, somewhat ironed, Ben Sherman or similar. Usually white. Not tucked in. Top two or three buttons undone to reveal leather-strap necklace.
Pants: Because of dress codes, these will invariably be dark chinos. A stupid belt is essential.
Shoes. Have to be light brown, with stupidly, needlessly big toes. These fucking things:
Complete the look with a ridiculous amount of rancid-smelling body spray or cologne.
All set? Now, remember: your name is 'Dave' or 'Matt', you support Everton, and you work in sales. You and your twattish mates 'Mark' and 'John' are looking for 'serious muff' and the only way to get that is to drink at least ten pints of Stella and untold numbers of shots. Good luck!