I've been with my current boyfriend for almost 1 1/2 years now. We communicate things fairly well but it seems he cannot stop criticising what I'm wearing, how my hair looks, how I'm wearing something. Like before I leave the house to go out with him, even if it's just to the store real quick he always has something to say about what I'm wearing. Or even if we're just eating dinner together in the privacy my house he doesn't hesitate to say something! Most times I find it completely unneccesary and cruel. I never wear things that are too revealing or slutty or anything like that. He just seems to want to dress me himself!
For example just yesterday while we were eating dinner in the kitchen I put my hair behind my ears so I wouldn't get my hair in my food and I was also wearing a beanie, so it looked kinda silly of course but he just had to say something about it. He insisted that I took the beanie off cause I looked silly. I said I wasn't really thinking about how I looked and just wanted my hair out of the way. He preceeded to get angry with me about how silly I looked until I took it off.
Another incident occured wear I bought this exact headband and wore it out one day
He thought the headband was hideous! (not me pictured here but the same headband in the picture is the one I had) and he demanded that I never wore it again. He thought I looked embarressing! He didn't wanna go anywhere or do anything until I took it off and never put it on my head again. Despite how cute and matching my outfit was and how good it looked on me. He even offered to pay me the money back for it so he could throw it away. Absolutely ridiculous right ?
These instances happen almost everyday. He points out if a shirt doesn't flatter me, he points out if I'm wearing something that doesn't suit my age (and I'm only 21 so I can't understand that) he doesn't like when I wear my hair in pigtail braids cause he says I look like a child. It's just never ending and it's very frustrating! I'm not wearing slutty or revealing clothes. And my clothes fit just fine and I wouldn't leave the house looking like rubbish. It's like he just critisises me just because he can! How can I possibly deal with this? What can you say to your boyfriend when he seems to be controlling of your wardrobe?
Most Helpful Guy
First of all, I have to say that you have a particular sense of style in a good way. It's different, definitely the opposite of rubbish, and personally I like it. I can't say that I know exactly why he would be criticizing you and to be honest it's disrespectful. Because, from what you wrote it sounds like the sense of style you have is a part of you, that it's not part of the "norm", it is who you are. I'll admit I might be a little over dramatic right now, but I want you to know that is how I'm looking at it. Now, if I were you I would approach him and try to have a conversation on the topic of why he does what he does. Because, there could be something more to why he is criticizing you. Maybe something happened in the past that you don't know about that is causing him to be this way or maybe it could be as simple as his personality. I don't know the reason for his behavior, but it's up to you if you want to find out. I'm not going to say he's a bad person and that you should leave him, because that's not my place and that's not what I think you should do. However, if he is naturally this way for no reason then I would agree that it is disrespectful to you and you don't deserve to be treated that way. So, I would take a stand and try talking with him, because no one should have to be criticized for who they are. I hope that you can find out why he is doing what he is doing. This is after all my opinion, so of course you can disregard everything I wrote, but I do hope that it was helpful in someway and I hope for the best in your situation.1
Most Helpful Girl
This would irritate me just as much as it seems to irritate you.
Next time he does it, I'd calmly state that this is how you intended to look and why he has a problem with it? You are not there to "represent" him in any way nor do you have to dress yourself the way he likes you to.
For me, clothes are just not that important, so if he was my boyfriend, I'd also tell him that. As long as you don't dress like either Lady Gaga or a homeless person he shouldn't have any problems with your outfits.1