Who determines if you are physically attractive or not? You, or those around you?

Just a question I've always wondered. Like do hot people know they're hot? Ugly know they're ugly? Etc?

Since I constantly see those "Am I ugly? RATE ME?" questions, and I wonder if these chicks (mostly chicks) are attention seeking, legitimately curious, etc.

As for my original question; let's say you think you're hot shit, but everyone/majority thinks you're fugly "she's acting like she's cute, why is she so confident?"
Or, you think you're ugly, but everyone/majority thinks you're pretty "why is she so insecure, she's beautiful!"

So, who's right? Would the person opinion of themselves, or the majority? Or a bit of both, or neither? Is it the old adage "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", whoever is attracted to you determines it? Who determines if you're physically attractive? Is it healthier for one over the other? Here are examples of what I mean:
-Like let's say someone is so obese, that it is affecting their health. But they think they're the best looking, and should not change? Everyone says this person is ugly, and should make changes not only for appearance, but health as well (their sincerity of concern of health is questionable but doesn't matter in this scenario). This person doesn't care, s/he thinks s/he's beautiful, and doesn't what to change.
-Or someone who's really attractive, but doesn't think they're good enough/good looking enough, so they starve themselves. Everyone tells this person that s/he is beautiful, and to stop obsessing. But s/he doesn't care about anyone else's opinion, s/he thinks s/he is ugly and wants to change.

So, who determines if you're attractive or not?

*Bonus question, what do you consider yourself?
*AS USUAL, INSECURE PEOPLE, ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!*
Who determines if you are physically attractive or not? You, or those around you?

  • YOU determine if you're physically attractive. (For ex, If you think you're ugly, but everyone thinks you're pretty and vice versa, forget their opinions, YOU are correct)
    10% (3)3% (1)6% (4)Vote
  • OTHERS determine if you're physically attractive. (For ex, if you think you're hot, but everyone thinks you're ugly, THEY ARE RIGHT and vice versa)
    24% (7)50% (17)38% (24)Vote
  • BOTH EQUALLY determine if you're physically attractive. (For ex, if you think you're ugly, and everyone agrees, sorry you're fugly)
    21% (6)15% (5)17% (11)Vote
  • MOSTLY YOU, BUT A BIT OF OTHER'S OPINIONS AS WELL.(I hope you get the point now)
    24% (7)15% (5)19% (12)Vote
  • MOSTLY OTHERS, BUT A BIT OF YOUR OPINION AS WELL.
    21% (6)17% (6)20% (12)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

0|2
6|27

Most Helpful Guy

  • Ultimately, self-judgment is the bottleneck through which all other factors have to pass. No matter what other people say one way or the other, you are the one who decides whether those things are valid or not.

    For many people, though, self-judgment is so founded in others' judgments that they don't even feel like they are individuals. These are the people whose opinions of themselves go up and down based on what others are saying about them.

    Still, to reiterate my first point, everything has to be understood in terms of what the you decide about yourself. If all the world thinks you're ugly but you are certain you are beautiful, then of course you are beautiful. Every mind is its own reality; there are no "wrong" self-impressions, because they prove themselves true just by being self-impressions.

    On the other hand, if you let the world determine for you that you're ugly, and that becomes your self-impression, then you are indeed ugly. That is your reality.

    2|1
    0|0
    • Omg! Very well said! I'm tempted give you MH right now.

      Based on that, do you think anyone is truly physically unattractive?

    • Show All
    • Thanks for MHO :D

    • You gave the best answer, thank you :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • At first you may judge how attractive you are based on your subjective view on other's apprarance. If you think someone is beautiful and then compare their traits that you find beautiful to yours, you might think you're ugly.
    If you compare yourself to a person YOU find unattractive, you might think you're beautiful and so on.
    But a big impact comes from others. Comments regarding your appearance may influence you and make you think "Oh I am ugly because others say so, or guys don't like me etc". And it gets in your head.
    Or they might think you are beautiful, but you're stuck with the idea that you aren't from comparison

    So I say it has to do with both, but both situations are very subjective, because beauty is in the eye of the beholder
    As for bonus question, I find myself unattractive, partly because that's how I view myself compared to others and partly because I've been called fat or ugly in the past by others. At the same time some people (friends mostly) tell me I am beautiful and I don't believe them.
    So in the end, both parties are equally responsible for one's view on their appearance :)

    1|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 26

  • I would say for the most part others' opinions. However, our own opinions about our appearance can affect our moods and personalities which can have an impact on our posture, facial expressions, and other things which are factors which help or hinder our attractiveness.

    If Brian Peppers (Google him if you don't know him) thought he was attractive, I am hard pressed to imagine the rest of the world agreeing with him simply because he thinks he's attractive. The individual is but one vote. If one person thinks someone is attractive but the other seven billion people in the world don't, then I am hard pressed to call that person attractive simply because one person voted otherwise, no matter who voted attractive is.

    However, I have seen negative attitudes turn physically attractive people into unattractive people. I have also seen it work the other way.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Hard pressed? I don't know what that means so I'm having trouble understanding what you're trying to say.

    • And it says on Google, closely pursued or something in urgent business which doesn't make much sense.

    • Sorry.

      It can also mean to find something difficult. If Brian Peppers thought he was attractive, yet the other seven billion people in the world don't, I would find it very difficult to say he's attractive.

      I once asked a question along these lines. The question went something like would you prefer to believe yourself attractive yet everyone else in the world finds you unattractive, or would you prefer to believe yourself unattractive while the rest of the world finds you beautiful. Most people answered that they prefer the latter.

  • Although! there are chances always some people will not give an honest reply, you will never know what other factors they considered while they were staring watching or looking at you, ex:- if they are jealous of something about you then surely they won't say you are beautiful and even if you don't look good some people will not give you true feedback because many will think it would be rude or maybe some people don't want you to improve. So keeping aside all those factors if it is solely about looks and honest answer then it definitely depends on others views after all they are the consumers of your beauty they are the one going to relish your looks.
    And our own perception matters but very little just to give a boost to personality and confidence, too much of our own perception will leave oneself blind not able to see it clear, they will be biased either in a negative way or too much positive way, so I guess it should depend on other people more than yourself but yes don't totally ignore yourself add pinch of yourself in it but be real to it, let's just face it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Attraction implies sexual desire. You dont typicially become arroused at the sight of your own reflection so in my opinion other people decide whether or not you're attractive.

    I would like to say I think there is a difference between being good looking and attractive.
    Being good looking has to do with beauty/aesthetics which is dtermined by symetry and youth. Attraction as I said implies sexual desire and is more subjective.

    For example there could be a guy who has a visually pleasing face but isn't attractive to you due to him having a pretty boy face.

    So you can be good looking but not attractive. However I dont believe its likely for you to be attractive without being somewhat good looking. Like those with disfugured asymetric faces are unlikely to be considered attractive.

    0|0
    0|0
    • But what if I am sexually attracted to myself? Haha jk

      To me, attraction is that I'm interested in the person fully. I want his mind, his soul (not literally), his love/heart, his attention, his dick. Everything.

      So, if I'm understanding you, you think it's others? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder?

    • Sort of... I think there is somewhat of a general consensus about who is beautiful and who isn't. I do agree with kinstomes opinion that if a conventionally ugly person perceives themselves as being beautiful then we can't really invalidate their personal perception, but like bluemax said if everyone else thinks your ugly then people will still react to you/treat you based on their collective perception of you being ugly.

      I do think there is some guve and take however.

      For example if most other people find you attractive but you percieve yourself as being undesirable your own perception overrides everyone elses and holds you back as if you were actually undesirable.

      Sometimes your perception of yourself is directly related to how other people see you, like if everyone calls you ugly it could hurt your self esteem and affect how you perceive yourself and vice versa

  • Others, I mean intrinsic with determining attraction is, who is attracted to you.

    1|0
    0|0
  • If you were all alone and never saw another human you probably wouldn't care what you looked like. So other people play a huge role in determine if you are attractive or not. People aren't usually a good judge of themselves either. You can be OK with what you look like but I would give more weight to others and just a little to oneself.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Your mom decides ,

    http://i.imgur.com/vXy3O8z.png

    1|0
    0|0
  • Of these options i went with D. I determine how good i look for the most part, but it can still make my day when others recognize how good i look... and it can also sometimes wreck it if anyone said i looked ugly lol.

    1|0
    0|0
  • BOTH EQUALLY determine if you're physically attractive. (For ex, if you think you're ugly, and everyone agrees, sorry you're fugly)

    0|0
    0|0
  • A mix of a lot of things - Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but there is a certain amount of attractiveness in genuine self confidence plus liking someone's personality can make them seem more attractive - I find that everyone has different interpretations of physical beauty outside the few who look great to everybody for example on the street when you think a girl is attractive even though you are just passing her by and will probably never talk to her.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Opinions of others usually make you think that you are beautiful or fugly so if people tell you you are pretty it will make you think it and vice versa

    0|0
    0|0
    • What if you get both pretty and ugly comments? Lol

    • Well then you would not have a for sure answer but you would know you would be about a 5 on the scale of 1-10

  • Well, I think asking on GAG is a pretty good idea. If you don't overdo your makeup, then people will be pretty honest with you, because they have no reason not to be.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I was ugly growing up so I don't know tbh now. I get a lot of women looking and smiling at me, and giving signs that they are sexually attracted. I had a woman tell me I had pretty eyes and I feel she wasn't lying about them and she kinda snuck in the compliment and I've been told that multiple times before. Also, there are two girls at school around my age and they act so shy and weird around me and I literally haven't done anything to them. Maybe I'm more attractive than I think. But I still feel like the same undesirable teen that I was.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Nobody ever called me ugly, but nobody ever called me handsome or hot either. Men especially know they are ugly when no women touches them. This weekend was the first weekend when a stranger said I was hot. At the age of 33... I have no fucking clue what to do with that. It's like i have been a raccoon all my life and somebody tells me I'm actually a puma. Crazy.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Others, cause others are the ones attracted to you.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Do you think your own perception matters at all in determining your attractiveness?

    • It only matters to determine how attractive you're to yourself, but it won't change how others perceive you, and attractiveness is how others see you, not how you see yourself, though the way you see yourself does determine how confident you are.

  • I personally think it's a little bit of both that determines whether you are attractive or not.
    Bonus question I feel in a 5 because I'm average

    0|0
    0|0
  • Physical attractiveness only makes sense in the context of other people, so I voted B).

    0|0
    0|0
  • in my opinion it is Society's standards that define beauty, go on youtube and you will find videos where they trace back the definition of beauty throughout the ages...

    0|0
    0|0
  • 3 words.. fuck da haters

    0|0
    0|0
  • Some people will think you're hot, others won't it's all a matter of opinion. Though, Scarlet Johansson is hot, no matter who you are.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Others determine...

    0|0
    0|0
  • well others are the ones looking at you.. inside is all you

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well I already I'm ugly so yeah.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Uh this is the world these days my head hurtss

    0|0
    0|0
  • Obviously both I and others determine the physical attractiveness.
    Like I am super hairy and people find it gross and so do I !

    0|0
    0|0
  • society , our human instincts

    0|0
    0|0
  • It should be one self but we let others have more power. Look at beauty standards. In the US having bronzed and tan skin is the ideal and being pale is seen as not good (people assume basement dwellers etc). Then if you go to Japan or Korea or China pale skin is the ideal. There are a lot of Asians foreign exchange students at my uni and they will carry umbrellas for when it's very sunny out to keep themselves from getting a tan.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 5

  • You take your general knowledge of what he media tells you is attractive, and you apply it to yourself when you look in the mirror. You then take the amount of compliments you may or may not receive, and add that into the mix of things.

    Those things help you decide if you are attractive or not. So i would say it's a mixture of yourself and the people / media around you.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Do you think that mix is equal, or more influenced on you or others?

    • Show All
    • Excellently explained!

    • "so while initially it may seem media has more influence, it ultimately has to do with how healthy and stable your own mentality is."

      I completely agree.

  • I think majority of it comes from you. If you don't see yourself as pretty then it's not gonna matter who does. And vice versa. If you're confident in yourself and your looks, what somebody else thinks isn't gonna faze you.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Hmmm. I think this will be my next question. Do you think you (using you in a general sense) can be confident if you believe that you're ugly? Or average? Or is confidence reserved for the beautiful?

    • I don't think that it's solely reserved for beautiful people. I just think that comes easier for them. But then one might ask, who decides what beautiful is. A person can look in the mirror and think that they are beautiful, but other people may consider them average or even ugly. There's so much gray area when it comes to this.

  • Both equally I love that 'beauty is in the beer holder' hehe 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

    1|0
    0|0
  • Society, i. e others

    0|0
    0|0
  • I put mostly others, but a bit of your opinion matters as well because confidence is attractive and can influence perception to a certain extent.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...