How do I build self confidence? How to get rid of low self esteem?

I have always been a thin girl. Growing up in the Caribbean where most people are naturally curvy, I used to get mean remarks even from adults as young as seven and I have never been self confident. Everyday in prep school, I got severely bullied for being skinny, people used to spread rumours about me having anorexia, or rumours about me being so emaciated that you could see my rib-cage (which was not even the slightest bit of truth). In sixth grade, when I was twelve, a group of boys came up to me and told me not to wear a bikini for the school trip because I would scare everyone of my 'malnorishedness'. My mom wanted to buy me a bikini for the school trip but I refused. I eventually graduated three months later and went to high school. The bullying wasn't as bad but it was still bad. People were still calling me malnorished, accusing me of having anorexia and teased me everytime we did swimming. At one point I was so self conscious that even in a one piece swimsuit (in swimming class) I would feel disgusted. Around the time, 'All About That Bass' and 'Anaconda' rolled around, the insults got worse. Everytime I looked in the mirror I saw a skeleton (my friends had to convince me so much that I actually didn't look like one), I would always have these voices in my head telling me to 'eat you fucking disgrace' or 'look at yourself, you skinny piece of shit, EAT' and I would start overeating to the point where my stomach would overflow and get severe acid reflux and throw up. I started taking overdoses of iron pills so that my digestive system would slow down so I could absorb more food to gain weight. I also had such a fear of losing weight to the point where I would always eat every minute, even if I wasn't hungry. Swimming class got so bad to the point where I would always cover up my body and my friends got concerned. I cried every single night when I was 14 because of that.
I am now 16 and I slowly got over that but I still have very low self esteem. Any tips?

Updates:
I am really sorry for the long intro.
Also, if anyone is confused about the country thing, I moved, so there's that.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just dont care what people think. After all, they mean nothing to you and you don't like them so why do their opinions matter anyway?

    Often kids just bully other kids because it makes them feel better about their own insecurities (yes. 16 years old is still a kid :P). I know during primary school and highschool I was bullied due to being thin, being a nerd and having a weird walking style (got weird leg problems).
    Now I'm in college literally nobody cares about any of it and actually I'm went from being bullied in school to being the vice-president of my college this year with everyone liking me. Although it sucks at the moment just realize that most of the people bullying you will struggle outside of school because nobody likes people that just put others down where as if you keep a positive mindset and keep up with your studies your future will be amazing.

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    • Thank you for this, and I am sorry that you have been bullied also and I'm glad things eventually worked out for you. I hope the same also happens to me.

Most Helpful Girl

  • opens arms wide and gives you a big big hug :) now let me tell you something Missy lol i do not even have to look at you or see you to know you are beautiful. my best advice to you and i know its hard is to see your self as beautiful do not let any one tell you what you are live your own truth. the truth of your own inner butty. no one can take away your own inner truth unless you let them. self excpentce is the most important thing you can learn in life i'm 26 and still working on it. try looking in the minor every day and say this i am beautiful there is nothing wrong with me or my body i am worthy of loving myself and being loved and no one can take this away from me. then stop there no more picking your self apart. even if you have to start it out as a lie to your self you say it often enough and it will become truth.

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What Guys Said 7

  • This is the single best resource I've found on the topic of self esteem.
    http://getesteem.com/index.html
    Get the book and work book.

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  • post up a picture of your bikini shot. For every guy that thinks your too skinny I bet there will be equal number of guys that find you hot.

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  • To build self-confidence you succeed.
    To get rid of low self-esteem you succeed.

    So... just start succeeding.

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  • Oh im so sorry to hear that. I was rather skinny myself, still am kinda but I've never been bullied like that? Its alright there is nothing wrong with being like that. What is your hight and weight?

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    • I'm 5'3" and 95 pounds currently.

    • Show All
    • Yeah... I really do.

    • I guess you are already eating well. To that i would add some moderate exercise if you are not doing it already. Im trying to gain as well. Im 6"2 and used to weigh 60 kgs. Not sure how much in pounds. About 7-8 months in resiatance and weight training got me up to 70. Better but still rather slim. Im aiming about for 80-85. You can do bodyweights if you can't get weights. We could help motivate each other along the way. Like progress buddies :-)

  • write. less.
    do. more.

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  • im sorry this happened to you. your a girl your more than likely very beautiful, and everyone who teases you is probably jealous of you so dont worry about it, plus your young too, and dont over eat for someone else benefits thats stupid.
    im trying to lose weight what are you eating to stay thin?
    if your thinness bothers you you should see a doctor.

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    • Thank you. I talked to my doctor about my thinness and he said it is mostly genetic, topped with a fast metabolism. He said if I want to gain weight, I need to eat more protein which is what I am doing now (gained ten pounds in the last few months but still thin af).
      Also, with the losing weight thing, I can tell you to eat healthier, cut down on fats and start exercising but don't overdo the exercise thing. Start out slowly first and then you will get used to it. I am not necessarily doing anything to stay thin actually.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Ohh girl don't let anyone get into your head. Some girls worry to be too fat or being normal weight. The thing is that you're perfect just the way you are and i know it sounds like a cliche but its true. People will always try to find imperfection in you just trust yourself and be confident! Since I was a kid I was always chubby and now now i m 68 kg and 172cm, I have been worrying of being too fat and I ve been going to the gym but I realized that I love my body and if I m changing my body is for myself not for anyone!

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  • Build up your self esteem. Bullies only pret on the weak. There are vast amount of resources to tap into that are available in internet. There are lots of youtube videos that commonly address these issues since people are sick 😳.

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  • You have to learn to compliment what you were born with. We all have our own body type and we have to learn to be out best selves. Anything else is an epic waste of time.

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  • Just stop caring what people say. Do you and who ever isn't happy with that can leave.

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  • Dress better and walk like you're the boss

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