Now, I don't want to get too cliche here, but I'm 23 and have been a single bloke all my life. Never really been the confident type either, which has been the basis for my lack of experience with women. I've been told by my friends that I'm good-looking and that I could 'get lucky with some hot girls', but I've never been able to see through it. Despite them saying this, I don't have the guts to go and approach girls, because my confidence is as low as a casket six feet underground. I see my friends that are ugly/average looking/fat/etc. that get with amazing looking women, and yet I always have nothing but the negative feeling that girls are going to find me annoying or want to get away from me the minute I try and start a conversation. It's easy for me to talk to girls I'm not interested in and want to be friends with, but with girls I have the hots for, I become an awkward and quiet person. How am I supposed to come over this? I'd really appreciate some advice on how to build up my confidence with girls.
And also, here's a photo of me right now for you to judge as to whether or not I'm a decent looking guy or not. Note: I'm actually a redhead/ginger, but my hair has been getting a little darker in recent years.
Most Helpful Girl
You're good looking. Stop fretting over being single. Dating can be easier for some, but finding the right person is insanely difficult for EVERYONE.
Watch Dan Bacon's youtube videos. You could also try Life. Defined where they actually try street approaching german girls, i thought it was funny. A bit clumsy at times, but still very proactive.
Stop putting girls on a pedestal. Your best chance of impressing a girl is by treating her like a person, like everybody else. No matter how hot she is, she feels insecure around others, including you. Hot people like attention, but in appropriate doses. Much of the time, the attention is unsettling, like feeling like you're about to trip on the red carpet and make a fool out of yourself. Girls look stuck up when they're standing about. Yeha, im guilty of that, but its hard to smile until your face hurts, especially when you know at most, its just another boring night with the girls, and cute, but scared stiff guys who WILL NEVER approach in this lifetime. Some of us are stuck up. but many of us who give off that vibe, are merely feeling lonely, and hopeless that someone will appraoch. Honestly, my facial expression, especially around guys is usually completely dumbstruck, and awkward, like what face do i put on? don't wanna be weird. should i just have a neutral face? Yeah neutral face. Act unfazed. That way you won't feel stupid grinning in case he wasn't looking at you, but at someone behind you.
So try empathizing instead of getting insecure, or assuming that we're all cold evil beings that will crush you. I've never rejected a guy rudely, and if she does, then avoid her - cause WE do too!!
I can't tell you how many times I wished guys would approach and try to make us laugh, in a group. You don't have to be the cutest guy, you get a lot of props just for approaching. It gives the illusion of confidence, and it instantly makes us like, or at least respect you more. Like grab a chair flip it around, and say 'can i join you guys?' what you guys eating? that looks good. Just be a clown. Tease. Be yourself. in a group full of girls, there's a better chance that one of them thinks you're funny single, and is attracted to you. Be fair and draw out the other girls, even if ure targeting one. Besides, they might speak up for you, if one of the girls says something mean. Most girls feel that unnecessarily hurting a person's feelings, even a stranger, is really offensive.
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Most Helpful Guy
you look good. Attraction is based on body language which means, as you ask, you need to built up your confidence. To boost your self confidence you need to control your emotions. You must believe in yourself and believe that you are good looking enough for the girl you want.0