Am I attractive? My boyfriend's friends all keep commenting that I'm ugly and they don't understand why he likes me?

Ik I'm not rh thee most prettiest girl around but I've never thought I was ugly or horrible looking. I'm a very small girl at only 4'10 and around 80 pounds. I'm not skinny but I'm not fat either, I guess you could say I still have a little baby fat maybe around my cheeks and my tummy isn't completely flat but it's close. I dress what I think is cute, I love bright colors like pinks and bright blues and I prefer dresses... sometimes close to maybe pastel lolitas. It's a Japanese style that I adore. But I've always had low self-esteem about how I look and it hurts being called ugly and I'm beginning to not even thibk I'm attractive at all and my boyfriend deserves someone better at this point. And it's really hurting how I feel about myself


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're not ugly. But if other people telling you you're ugly is enough to get you down like that, even to the point of rethinking your boyfriend, then maybe what's making you feel bad is that your brain feels like you're not putting enough effort into looking your best?

    If you know, for sure, that you have done everything possible to look as good as you possibly can, then it wouldn't matter what anyone said. If someone calls me an idiot, I just flip them off or ignore them, and it doesn't bother me; because I know that I've spent a lot of time developing my ideas. Ultimately, people will say "Don't care about what others say." But I don't agree with that totally. If people are just being dicks, then sure, let the haters hate. But I also think that it's good to get some positive social feedback, like here right? I don't think there's anything wrong with measuring yourself by other's standards, in *some* ways.

    But, what really matters is how you feel about yourself. And clearly, you are not feeling too well right now. And everyone feels down on themselves from time to time, like they're not good enough somehow. That's your brain saying "We need to improve." (It does that a fucking lot) So, if you do everything you can to improve, your brain will leave you alone. If you just say "Oh, well, fuck those guys." Then your brain will always keep that with it; and it will come back again. Your brain will drive you insane until you listen to it. The only option you have is trying to ignore it or distract it, or giving in and putting in as much effort as possible to make it stop annoying you.

    So, you've got some baby fat. That is something you recognize and seemingly do not like. Adjust your diet and try to get rid of it. Research and develop a good diet. Dump the sodas and fast food and processed garbage. That's really all you need to do. Then have a cheat meal once a week so you don't burn out.

    Throwing on just a bit of makeup would help a lot, too.

    But you have a boyfriend, right? How could you have a boyfriend if you were ugly?

    And I really really just can't believe you're 22. If that profile picture is you, you really do look like you're 12. If you are--and I'm not saying you are--then a lot of this will just be development. You'll just have to give it some time, and you'll grow out of that baby fat.

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    • But I am really 22 :( like I said I'm just super small and for some reason I have a stupid baby face that makes everyone think I'm a child.

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    • Lol everyone says that because I have a baby face and get teased about it a lot and my guy friends love it for some reason. I hate it because I can't go anywhere without someone thinking I'm like 12... cops even thought my boyfriend was dating a child once :(

    • I get it. I've always looked at least 5 years younger than I am, too. When people bring it up, I just say "Just means I'll look younger when I'm older."

Most Helpful Girl

  • If your picture is of you, I feel really shit saying this but you look... Boring.

    You aren't ugly.
    But your picture has nothing that grabs me, no smile, no glint of an eye. I worked in a photography studio so I really have seen it all. But from your photo you loon a crushed woman.

    I think you need to explore yourself. Find a passion or rekindle one and take a new picture and let me see you for all you are.

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    • That's what a lot of people say I just look plain or boring

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    • Thanks for MH

What Guys Said 8

  • They sound like a bunch of jerks.

    That said, I think your picture is not the most flattering. One of the noticeable qualities to me is lack of prominent eyebrows. I can tell you have the capability to present yourself a lot better. Maybe you could team up with some of your female friends and go for a makeover.

    I hope that wasn't too harsh. I only point these things out because you can control them. I think the result could be a pretty girl with glowing features and a nice smile.

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    • Lol I didn't even notice my eyebrows didn't show up. That's weird since they're super dark

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    • I had very different kind of experiences but still traumatic, maybe similar effect. I think the cure still boils down to your ability to cure what's going on in your mind. If you can fix that, everyone will get a better impression of you.

  • Your picture is not very good and quite dark. But actually, what matters is what you two feel for each other. If his buds are talking like that, he should be telling them to shut up. Him putting up with that crap does not sound good.

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  • That pic is... not good. But it looks to me like you've got a lot of potential, you just need to unleash it.

    Disclaimer: You won't often hear me say something like what I'm about to say. Generally my opinion is if something bad/unpleasant happens to a woman, she fuckin deserves it. At some point, she was a cunt to some man that didn't deserve it, so now she's getting hers.

    Now, that being said...

    Your boyfriend really should stick up for you. By not telling his friends to go punch themselves in the dick, he's being an ass in my opinion.

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    • I don't take pictures normally that was the last I took because I needed it for a stupid job picture. I know it's not that good

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    • Just what I already told you. Find someone that can help you and bring your full potential out, and shove it right in their faces.

  • You're not attractive to me.

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  • I wouldn't call you attractive.

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  • You sound awesome to me don't let them get you down.

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  • Well you must have at least one feature that makes your boyfriend want to be with you, so don't worry. So long as you have that you're good.

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    • So I'm ugly?

    • I didn't say that. Obviously your boyfriend is with you. There MUST therefore be something, some trait that you have or display that he values.

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What Girls Said 11

  • Your boyfriend needs new friends. Either he deserves better friends, or you deserve a better boyfriend. One or the other.

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  • your boyfriends friends are all jerks. and your boyfriend is a punk ass bitch if he's letting his friends insult you like that. dont change who you are to suit some assholes

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  • oh girrrrl your beautiful no matter what don't listen to these haters, people just say negative things because they've got nothing better to do and your boyfriend shouldn't listen to them either, those "friends" of his are clearly not friends if they refer to you like that.

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    • That's what he always tells me. But for some reason his friends just always like to say I'm ugly or I'm some weird little midget who's ugly. It's so mean and I don't know why they would keep doing it especially when he tells them to shut up

    • next time they say that you kick their faces or tell your boyfriend to find some new friends.

  • He choose you because he sees something others don't. You deserve to be him.

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  • Honey, he obviously thinks you're attractive, or he wouldn't be with you. You sound really cute. Tell him that you don't like the way his friends talk to you, and that it's hurting you.

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    • That's what he always says is he thinks I'm cute and sexy to him. And I've thought about telling him but they're his friends and is it really ok for me to tell him I don't like them and how they treat me? He's always telling them off and doesn't hang with them really anymore and I feel bad kike I'm taking him from his friends

    • You aren't taking him from his friends. They're disrespecting him by talking about his choice in partner, and disrespecting you by talking to you this way. Neither of you need that kind of negativity in your lives.

  • his friends ARE DICKS. he needs to put them in their place.

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  • Your boyfriend needs new friends.

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  • Your boyfriend doesn't defend you?

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  • That's cuz his friends act like fuckfaces

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  • How old are you? You look like a baby haha. And you said you have a boyfriend but, on your profile it says that your single?

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    • I'm 22 :( I just look like that no matter what. And I just never bothered to change my status on here is all

    • You aren't ugly

    • And you shouldn't let anyone call you ugly. His friend are shallow and blind

  • Not ugly at all, you look cute. You do look 12 in that picture, but that doesn't you're ugly. You just look very young.

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    • I know everyone says I look like a child. Even if I wear makeup or do something to try and look older I always get told it's weird looking

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