Do I look bad if I'm doing this after my boyfriend and I broke up?

We recently broke up and I happen to have a lot of guy friends. Is it bad if I'm hanging out with them one on one even tho I have no intentions of being with them? But they might have intentions of being with me? I love my ex so I feel guilty no matter what but the thing is should I? The last thing I would want my ex to think is I moved on from him so quickly and that I'm "easy" cause I'm hanging out with guys. People are closed minded so even if I am honest about the fact that we're just friends, my ex or even my guy friend will think she gets around or something. Plus they all know I have a boyfriend and the ones I hang out w the most know that I broke up w him or I'm struggling in my relationship and they're all cordial and friendly about it like giving me advice etc. but you never know with guys especially from my experience. They'll get with the girl any chance they have. But besides that, I wouldn't wanna hurt my ex or make him think I'm this chick who gets around.


What Guys Said 2

  • Once you've broken up, you have no obligation to base the course of your actions on how it might make your ex-boyfriend feel.

    I would actually recommend that the gentlest thing here is to cut him off and make it so he can't see what's going on with your life. At some point you'll want a boyfriend, and you shouldn't be worried about your ex-boyfriend's feelings at that point.

    It's hard not to feel guilt when breaking a person's heart, but everyone has to move on.

    • I know I have the right to do whatever I please now but it's not that simple when your ex means a lot to you. Notice how I'm always using the present tense and not past tense to refer my feelings for him because they're still there. We broke up, it was mutual but he is the one who made the initial decision. It was mostly due to our busy schedules and distance. So the point is it doesn't feel like it's completely over, we both have some hope it'll work out in the future but for now we're single. But just cause I'm single doesn't mean I'm gonna let lose and do whatever so by me hanging with guys I don't want him to get that idea because that can possibly turn him off and not want a sec chance with me. I feel like I'm betraying him as I hang out with them especially individually. I can simply not hang out with them but that's like shutting my life off for someone I don't have anymore so that's why I'm torn

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    • Well I should actually ask you if you were my friend and you knew I just broke up with my boyfriend, how would you look at me if I was hanging out w you a lot? And as a friend, you gave me advice for my breakup and you know how I feel about everything. Would you still have it in the back of your mind that I'm already moving on with you and there's a chance of getting with me?

      And let's say we've been friends for a while but we're not that close

    • I might be a bit biased since I'm not from the states. It's very common here in Japan for men to befriend women and vice versa and sometimes even go out for dinner together without being seen as some kind of romantic/sexual affair. As a result I have many friends which include females and my wife doesn't perceive them as a threat of any sort (plus they're also often her friends).

      That said, if I was the one who was your friend, I definitely wouldn't come on to you since I don't want to be the rebound guy.

  • Who gives a shit what your ex thinks. He is your ex and has no say in the matter.


What Girls Said 1

  • It's ok to have just guy friends...