Is it weird that my boyfriend doesn't compliment me much?

I asked my boyfriend if my boobs look a bit bigger in this picture and he said yes and then proceeded talking about other stuff without saying anything else. He didn't tell me if I look sexy or beautiful. He never really gives feedback on pictures of me except for saying it looks "great" which isn't the word I want to hear.

He does tell me I'm beautiful in person. But he never compliments anything specific about me. It would be nice to know what he thinks of how I look in certain pictures of me.

I know this probably seems really stupid, vain and all other bad things. But I'm an insecure girl and I don't want to feel like I have to ask other people for compliments because my boyfriend doesn't give me much.

It sometimes makes me wonder if he does really find me attractive. When I get all dolled up for special events like a birthday party, my friends would give me more compliments than he would.

I guess he's also not really that type of guy. And I don't want to ask him to change his ways and compliment me more because 1. It won't be sincere and 2. I don't believe in changing people.
Is it weird that my boyfriend doesn't compliment me much?

Ehh... this post turned out to be a lot different than I first intended it to be


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Most Helpful Guy

  • your a great girl and very attractive.
    The insecurity thing needs to be addressed within yourself, please get counseling. No guy can fill that void. That is very normal for a girl to want to be complemented, desired, and hear she is beautiful... all normal. But insecure... needs addressed inside.

    He sounds shy and introverted... common issues for a guy who is wounded internally. He needs his own healing if so. he may be insecure himself or not into you, can't tell.

    But yes, he needs to learn to complement you and what you need. He needs to just let go... not easy to learn. I had challenges with that for a while. The problem may be that he thinks if he says things like that, then he's making a lot of commitment he isn't ready for, so he holds back. He may not undersatnd what girls need to hear. It also may be your relationship is emotionally strained.

    He has his own insecurities and needs to grow, learn, and develop. Counseling help him as well.

    you are very well balanced to ask the question as you did, I like how you wrote it.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • anyway... if you're unsatisfied with the attention he gives you, talk to him. Tell him you need more attention, that you like it a lot, etc. If he reacts badly to it, maybe he's not the right kind of guy for you.

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What Guys Said 23

  • "I know this probably seems really stupid, vain and all other bad things." Nah. It's normal you ask yourself questions. Nothing bad about it. It's neither stupid nor vain nor bad nor anything but normal. Plus you may do or say something stupid without having to apologize. Everyone may say silly things from time to time. But you don't. This is supposed to be a stress free environment. So relax. "It sometimes makes me wonder if he does really find me attractive. " If he doesn't he's probably a never happy spoiled brat.
    "When I get all dolled up for special events like a birthday party, my friends would give me more compliments than he would. " Yeah you really don't know how good you look. It must be some curse or something. "I don't believe in changing people." Changing people is hard. But not impossible.
    Now, about you physically. I got pretty impressed by that photo. I mean you're not the only cute girl around yet you have something special. You look a bit like a princess. I'm serious! There's something real charming about you. Forget about size or BS of the sort. You're real enchanting. If your boyfriend does not compliment it has nothing to do with you. He must have probably a lot on his mind. He's talking to you about stuff he worries about, right?

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  • You wrote: "He does tell me I'm beautiful in person."
    And I can definitely see why he says that! I don't think you should worry about how your boyfriend sees you. He just doesn't feel the need to reduce your overall beauty down to its constituent parts. (Although that would be fun to do.) He focuses on the overall package. You're beautiful to him if you're in sweats and a t-shirt or if you're in a pretty dress.

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  • The thing with pretty girls is that everyone assumes they already know that they are pretty, and hence it doesn't occur to us to further stroke their ego.

    Also, when you say "this is not tthe word I want him to say" do you expect him to be psychic and read your mind?

    Communciation is something that both partners participate in.

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  • If you were my girl I would be walking around with a permanent erection.
    I think he should compliment you more

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  • Not weird
    He obviously thinks and knows you are beautiful
    But he might not be the best at expressing it.

    I think you should work on making yourself feel more secure about the way you look. You are blessed and beautiful
    Your boyfriend knows that too.

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  • You don't need to compliment to admire.
    I think he believes if he compliments in excess it would lose its meaning.

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  • "He does tell me I'm beautiful in person. " seems great to me.

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  • It's not weird. He may feel that, having established that he finds you attractive, constantly restating it would be unnecessary, shallow, or even needy.

    And for many men, a woman's level of physical attractiveness is basically constant regardless of cloths, makeup, bra, et cetera. More crudely: You're hot, or you're not. So, when you get dolled up, he may just not notice much of a difference.

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  • He's sick of you fishing for compliments.

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  • If you give women too many compliments, it loses its meaning.

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  • its not weird. dont worry

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  • yes, I suppose it's weird of him to do that. but when he DOES compliment you then I guess he really really means it then

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  • Damn
    You're beautiful
    Sometimes it's all about sex
    Or maybe he isn't that type of person

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    • 3mo

      Thank you. It's definitely not all about sex. We haven't had sex yet and he's completely okay with waiting

    • 3mo

      My pleasure 😊
      Then maybe he's not that much into you or just not that type of person

  • Great clevage

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  • He'd better be the fucking love child of jesus and prince charming to deserve a diamond like you!

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  • I'd compliment my girlfriend every day

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  • nice tits and eyes <3

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  • Some guys aren't that comfortable giving compliments and may be too nervous. If his actions show you that he likes you listen to those, don't let a lack of words ruin your relationship. I'm that kind of person, when I had a girlfriend I wasn't the most comfortable complimenting her and I tried to show her I liked her in other ways like wanting to be with her a lot. She left me and didn't tell me why and sometimes I wonder if it was just because I wasn't expressive enough for her. If I ever find out that that is why I will definitely look back on it with regret that I wasn't more expressive with her and will change that in future relationships but also I think its a stupid reason to leave someone who could be the one. If it really bothers you talk to him about it, its better to talk things out than to leave them unfixed and potentially cause much worse issues later. I know I wish my girlfriend had talked to me about what I was doing wrong and I could have changed instead of silently leaving me. Seriously though don't lose a relationship over a little thing like this, especially if he shows you he cares in other ways.

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What Girls Said 10

  • you're attractive and he tells you look beautiful and you look great. End of story. I don't know what more you want, there are plenty of women who don't even get half of what you get from their boyfriends. And fishing for compliments make you look kind of desperate. Do you tell him how beautiful he looks in all the different ways you wish you would hear? I seriously doubt it...

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  • "He does tell me I'm a beautiful person."
    This says it All, No Sour Ball here, dear.
    Good luck and Great pix, hun. xxoo

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  • Some guys just do not give compliments or feel uncomfortable doing so. I dated a guy who found it hard to compliment and wouldn't do it around male friends (though he did with some pushing), because he was a bad boy and wanted to keep his pride.

    It's obvious you've used an editing software to put on mascara and lipstick. Make it more subtle next time. ;)

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  • Some guys have trouble giving compliments, actually women do too. I know I do... I always make it sound weird even though I mean differently. You know him best.. If he is the quieter or shyer type, maybe he feels awkward to. Also, I don't know how long you've been dating. But if it's fairly early, that could be why too. If he isn't quiet and you don't think he has trouble voicing things, then confront him. I dated a guy once who told me he didn't find it necessary to compliment me because everyone else always was and that I already know I'm attractive. I think all women agree that a compliment from her man is one of the best compliments to receive. He was a huge arrogant Ass, and really was just insecure about himself and wanted me to feel less as a person, which continued to show throughout our relationship.

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  • He tells you you're beautiful in person? So... what's the problem? I can't even get a text back and you're at least getting told you're beautiful :/ I mean it must be frustrating to fish but cmon.

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  • I wish I had your body I'm a girl who is flat chested AA cup I'm jealous honestly I'm also insecure my boyfriend rarely compliments me he used to call me gorgeous a lot but he rarely says it now but when he does say it for me it's more meaningful if he compliment me every single time I would think he was lying and just telling me what he thinks I want to hear

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    • 3mo

      Haha I'm an A cup, that's a push up bra and contouring lol. That's true, that does sound like it would make it more meaningful.
      I think after a while they expect us to know we are beautiful without them having to tell us. With me that isn't the case. I need to hear it or I will ask other people if I look okay

  • Does he compliment other girls on their looks? If yes then it surely gets frustrating for a girl I can understand that. If no then I guess that is how he is by nature!

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  • You have reasons for dating him, though. Weigh the pros and cons.

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  • Because confidence is the most attractive feature on anyone. If you are not confident with yourself then no amount of compliments from anyone would make you feel more secure about yourself. You need to be happy with what you see in the mirror. All the rest is just short term solution, temporary feel good. Love yourself girl!

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