Why do people say "Looks don't matter to me. Only personality does." When everybody knows that's a lie?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Because people don't want to be judged automatically and called shallow. Looks are just as important in my opinion. YOU have to be attracted to them, doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It isn't a lie. I have had crushes and have been attracted to guys who would be deemed downright ugly by most people due to the traditional notions of "attractiveness" and "good looks". Some people need good looks in a partner. Other don't.

    Also, this is especially true for people with average good looks. I consider myself average. My boyfriend said the same thing to me way before we were friends, that the brain matters not looks. I am overweight and short. But he has eyes for no one else.

    It's possible that lesser people think like this though. I don't think women say this much because it's too true for them. I think men say it more because there's this notion that men only want the chicks on magazines or porn. So they say it as a disclaimer to make you know that they are not one of those guys.

    Also, it's a way of making you focus on the aspects of your personality that are more advantageous than your looks. Another thing is that they would ALWAYS prefer good looks+good personality, so if you get that, then you're better. But what they're trying to say here is that if they're not getting that combo, what they prefer is average looks+good personality over good looks+average personality.

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    • 3mo

      I agree with most of that.
      But pretty much, How could you be with someone you don't think i physically attractive? If you like them for their mind but don't want to get physical then they'd be better as a friend.

    • 3mo

      Because they're not attractive in the traditional manner, but once you get attracted to their mind, their mannerisms, etc. they are so appealing and so hot, you just don't judge them the same way others do. However, your brain knows that they are, traditionally speaking, not that hot and you know that if they lost weight, etc. you would be even more attracted to them. That's the reality of the human mind.

What Guys Said 17

  • I don't see it as a lie at all. An average looking person with a great personallity becomes beautiful to me.

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  • I don't really think it's a lie. A lot of people say it without meaning it, but there are people who really care about personality. If a girl has a great personality, it would make me want to spend a lot more time with her.

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    • 3mo

      I'm not saying that like "Personality doesn't matter, only looks do." I'm saying that they both have an equal role. If you're going to be with someone then they should have a great personality but at east decent looks. But people do pay attention to looks and say they don't. I have a friend that wouldn't tell me what kind of guy she thought was cute because she didn't care AT ALL what people looked like.

    • 3mo

      Ah, I see your angle now. Well I think everyone cares about looks to different extents. For example, I would be perfectly fine with average looks and a great personality. Maybe changing the statement to say "looks don't matter as much to me as personality does" would be more accurate.

    • 3mo

      Then again, like others have said, when your love someone, they become beautiful to you, so there's that.

  • It's true to a degree. Cuz I've met ugly girl but amazing personalities who I have fallen in love with :p I honest think personality is BIG. Cuz sure that one bitch it hot, but what if she's a cunt? I would actually run away! 😂 u see where I'm coming from?

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  • To me its true, if she doesn't have a good heart and good personality, then she can be as attractive as can be and she won't catch my attention, i like real girls and kind hearted ones and strong self, not mega bi****s or stuck up artificial ones etc.. If she has a beautiful heart then she's beautiful to me, yeah i prefer certain kinds of looks but i like all types of women

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  • it's not a lie
    when you live together for many years and see each other every day all the time, what matters the most is that you get along, not how good you look

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  • Looks DO matter. Whoever denies that, they're not being honest. And ironically, I think being honest is important when it comes to personality.

    You need to be honest and tell I don't like someone because of looks and that it's hard to see myself with that person because of that.

    People do reject because of looks, why do society keep denying this fact? Is it so hard to admit it? I don't understand why.

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  • Not really a lie, at least to an extent

    Saying it doesn't matter at all is a lie, but most people don't mean at all. They mean in a comparative sense to personality

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  • personality does matters a lot, looks fade away but personality doesn't

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  • Well they're right :p
    If you got a good personality than average looks also seem good

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    • 3mo

      Yeah, "Average" is not ugly sweetheart.
      I think both matter really. But lots of people say that looks don't matter at all. That's like saying you don't care if someone is super ugly in your opinion.

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    • 3mo

      Well everyone has different taste. But if you want to be with someone then surely you would think they were good looking.

    • 3mo

      Yeah Agree !!

  • That isn't a lie. Maybe its just you who are that shallow and just assume everyopne is?

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  • it's a big lie

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  • both are important for a real relationships, but looks are just as important as personality. People say that to try to seem "nice"

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  • okay, if you reject an average looking guy with the most amazing personality etc... then your an idiot.

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    • 3mo

      Average is still good looking.
      Ugly however is not.
      I would have to have some physical attractiveness or it would never work out.

    • 3mo

      fair enough

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