I'm stuck. A risky relationship or have my fun?
So recently I have discovered I'm bisexual... I love my best friend. I've always been curious about girls, and my best and I have done everything, and gone very far. We've been best friends forever and we've considered being a couple for a very long time. We've always been there for each other and I love her so much. After my boyfriend and I broke up, I've learned a lot and I'm too young to be in a serious relationship and settle down. So I have very much been enjoying being able too flirt, kiss, and "do it" with whoever I want and not have to worry about anyone or any drama. Of course I've been safe with it, but point is, I've been having a lot of fun living this single life.
But when I spend time with my best friend, I always treat her like she's mine. Like she's my girlfriend and I can't help it. I can't help but to always hold her close and care for her and kiss those lips, and I don't care who sees!
She tells me she gets jealous when I flirt with other guys and text other guys. She says she has very strong feelings for me and she's possibly falling in love. She tries to pull away but she can't.
We would be together already but she's afraid I'll hurt her...
I don't know if I want to be in a closed relationship. Not just with her, but with anyone. I'm having too much fun doing what I'm doing, and I don't want to be unfaithful. I don't want to hurt her. She means way too much to me.
I love kissing her, holding her, protecting her. I love it. But I don't want to be reserved to just her.
She wants to either be in a relationship, and have me to herself, or just be friends and stop all the kissing and couple-like things we do together so she can lose the feelings she has for me.
Which is completely reasonable, and I know I'm being selfish...
But I'm stuck.
Today she was upset with me and she told me that she needs space so she can lose her feelings for me because she can't stand to see me flirting with other people and it hurts her. I told her I'd stop all the flirting and everything so we could be together and I'd be all hers.
I don't want to lose her. But I feel like I'd be unhappy sometimes if I couldn't have my fun... Don't get me wrong, I would never cheat on her. I'd never hurt her. But it's my Senior year and I want to have fun... But I feel like I need her...
What should I do?
What would you do?
If you have any questions on the details, ask me...
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