People Under 25 Probably Shouldn't Get Married

People Under 25 Probably Shouldn't Get Married

So I was doing some googling to see what the popular opinion was on getting married young. (Young as in under 25). I have personally always believed it’s not a good decision to get engaged before age 25. However, I found an article written by Steven Crowder from 3 years ago that says the very opposite in an extremely rude way, which really pissed me off.

He wrote his opinion piece in response to a Huffington Post article on why marrying under 25 should be banned in the U.S. His first response is “I know what you’re thinking…hipsters. “. To which I reply, no that’s not what anyone is thinking. How is thinking that way at all like a hipster? He’s already coming off so intelligent to me. Crowder goes on to say that he knows of many people, including himself that have gotten married and have been married for quite some time and are still happy. However, I’m going to assume that he is a religious man and so is his family, so that leads me to believe that these people frown upon or maybe even do not allow divorce. Therefore, it’s not like they have that choice so no wonder they’re still together.

I know of an Evangelical couple (my friend’s parents) who are apparently not in love at all anymore but are staying together for their children’s sake. That’s fine for them or anyone else who really wants to deal with that unhappiness (I guess you could potentially be happy that way, but it’s unlikely). I, on the other hand, could not deal with that. And as a child, I would want my parents to be happy. Once I was mature enough to understand what my parents were feeling, I would definitely hold no resentment towards them or their decision to divorce. By the way, I grew up with split parents and went through two divorces, so I know what I’m talking about with that one. He then says that it’s not all people or people like him marrying young that’s the problem, it’s the Huff Post author marrying young that’s the problem. “That tends to happen when vapid, valueless leftists make poor life decisions,” he says. That statement was honestly completely unnecessary and rude. Crowder then states that unlike what the author of the Huff Post article says, he has not changed his mind since he was 14 on the person he wanted to be or wanted to be with.

In my opinion, that’s terrifying to be the same person you were at 14 and never experience change and growth. It also sounds incredibly boring. But like the other author stated, many, many people have not found out who they want to be or who they want to be with at that time in their lives. They still need time to grow and figure out what they like by dating around. And dating around is not shameful either. Everyone does things in their own way and dating around is one way to find out what you like. Then the Huff Post author states that she wanted to spend her early 20s partying and having fun. Crowder just outright insults her and everyone who chooses to live that way saying that it’s “living life like a dime store floozy”. Honestly, just what the hell. That’s generalization, sexism, and just being a dick. He doesn’t even try to see that’s what the majority of young people are doing and recognizing that you can do those things and still be responsible.

Crowder also says; “I’m guessing that ability to withstand peer pressure and adhere to one’s values might translate to the kind of backbone necessary for a successful lifelong relationship.” What he doesn’t understand is that a lot of people who partake in the partying lifestyle are not submitting to peer pressure, it’s just something they think is fun and so they partake (and I’m speaking from experience). Additionally, just because a person has this kind of lifestyle does not mean they don’t have what it takes to have a successful long-term relationship. Those two things are almost completely unrelated. He goes on to question the Huff Post author: “Did [anyone] explain to you the statistical benefits of abstinence until marriage, and the possible pitfalls of living together before tying the knot?” This is where he cites a book written in 1996 to try and back up abstinence.

Honestly, abstinence doesn’t even seem relevant in this conversation. Nonetheless, it’s been proven that states who only teach abstinence have the highest number of teen pregnancies. So his information is obsolete and irrelevant. Another thing, I don’t think it could at all negatively affect a couple to live together before marrying. If anything it would be beneficial because it gives you real insight on what it could be like to be with that person 24/7 and help you decide if that’s what you want. Altogether, I was very upset by this man’s article. He fails to understand so many things about the maturing and growing that happens to a person in their young adulthood. Human brains aren’t even fully developed until age 25. (Which is probably the reason the Huff Post author chose the age that she did.) It’s honestly very reasonable to ban marriage for adults under 25 for this reason. Yet, I understand why that won’t and shouldn’t happen. Adults should be free to make their own stupid mistakes.


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What Guys Said 31

  • That's not always true, my mother got married before age 25, both my aunt and uncle got married, before age 25, both my grandfathers and grandmothers got married before age 25, both cousins again got married before 25, they are all together and have fine happy marriages with no regrets.

    You also have to understand that some people don't grow, change or mature I've seen people twice my age that act like kids and never grew up, while others may go faster or slower compared to other people. I for instance matured quite a bit quicker then the rest of the people I grew up with. And have pretty much reached the point were I'll be for the rest of my life maturity wise, yet I am only 22 and I've been like this for several years. -shrugs- this isn't really a one size fits all type of thing.

    I do agree that people should wait and get married around the age of 25 simply for the fact that most people are better off financially. And can actually support having a family, but they do not have to wait if they do not want to, I don't think under 25 marriages should be banned and that idea is ridiculous.

    And while you are right that the brain is not fully developed until around that age, you must also know that quite a few people will not act or even really be any different a few years away from 25 as opposed to being 25, their brain maybe developed but that doesn't guarantee or even mean they as a person or their personality or way of thinking will change.

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    • I obviously know it doesn't guarantee it, but the chances are much higher. I wrote another Take about this that better explains how I feel www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a11058-young-marriage-divorce-kids

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    • @CandyandPinkCats just standard middle class jobs.

    • But it doesn't sound like they made enough where they could've afforded the childcare, and still supported themselves alone... That's like the number 1 reason women stay at home, because of the child care costs. I think many women stayed married because it wouldn't have been possible to survive all by themselves, and still take care of the kids. Not that it isn't really hard for a lot of single parents now, but I think that's the main reason why those older couples stayed to together.

  • We were both 25 when we married and are still happy together, after all those many happy years.

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  • People should not live their lives reading bullshit statistics etc. Stop being a sheep and do what your heart tells you.

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  • Thanks random person on the internet!
    *sarcasm*

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  • You don't really know your true self until you hit your 30's , was 30 when I got married & that is on it's last legs , I'm the one seeking separation & divorce. You have to choose your future spouse very wisely , especially if you are a man , men are often taken to the cleaners post divorce.

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  • The guy wasn't calling himself a hipster. He was calling all of you readers Hipsters.

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    • You can't blame her, her brain isn't fully developed yet after all. ;)

    • @remonster.

      Not fully developed? Sadly that's only part of it. Most people having Reading Comprehension issues which results in gross misunderstandings. Such is the world we live in, man. I honestly stopped reading after that sentence, I'm sure the rest of it was rubbish because it was based off of faulty understanding.

  • People shouldn't get married, period. 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Divorce is expensive, messy, stressful, and now a corporate business run by lawyers wanting to make a quick buck with no regard to you or your family's well being. If you are going to get married, you need to look at it as a business contract or arrangement and defend yourself accordingly. Marriage is not for love, it is for financial expansion and gain. Gain always comes at a cost to someone. Don't be that someone.

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  • People in general shouldn't get married.

    There's a ~1/3 and rising chance of you getting divorced, and a 10% chance of having illegitimate children.

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  • I agree, I also think people should be banned from having children unless they are above a specified income bracket, have a clean criminal record, and have a good credit rating. Children need to grow up with parents that have the sufficient funds to give their children a good education, technology for them to use and benefit from, healthy foods, good clothes, and enough space in the home for them to be comfortable and have their privacy when they need it.

    I myself am focused on my career and education and will not dwell too much on family matters until I am settled into a secure job and have my own house. Then not only can I use my spare time to meet women, my odds of being successful with women increase because I have a stable life with comfortable amounts of money, making this time optimal for finding a wife.

    Just my 2 cents though.

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    • So you're basically saying anyone who has a past criminal record can't have kids? Some of the best dad's have had hard lives, they scrape everything together for their family no matter what income bracket they are.. The best people I've known have had parents who worked extremely hard and had low income, you know I think what this world lacks most is people who don't know what an easy life is, people who know what matters and have that drive to accomplish anything because they didn't get everything they wanted as a kid, they earned it through hard work and by being determined to be better, my dad was poor as a kid and worked hard his entire life, now he is a CEO.. You want to know how to destroy an economy? Get rid of the guys with low income and watch the fat cats starve..

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    • Absolutely they found time, they did everything for their family.

    • I agree to some extent , here in the UK , benefit ( welfare ) leeches were popping out huge numbers of kids for extra child benefit & Child Tax Credits , the " government " have finally capped this at 2 children. Those same children then become adults that do exactly the same !!

  • Age means nothing in my opinion, I'm 20 years old and don't do things people my age do, I'm way more mature do to my disability and life experiences which have made me grow up quick, mentally I feel 30+ so you can't simply make a law for marriage at 25 because people have different levels of maturity regardless of age, I want to find a girl and settle down with her because life is short and I don't have time to waste "testing the waters" because I know what I want. Divorce is way to wide spread now a days and I think it's sick, divorce should be a last resort.. Marriage should be a mutual thing between lovers, it is a decision individual couples must make, not the government..

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    • "It’s honestly very reasonable to ban marriage for adults under 25 for this reason. Yet, I understand why that won’t and shouldn’t happen. Adults should be free to make their own stupid mistakes."

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    • To be clear I said I don't quote other people, I didn't quote the article for that reason, and you didn't say everyone should be able to choose like I did, you said they should be able make their own stupid mistakes, basically saying to everyone who doesn't get married after 25 that their choice is stupid... That's like saying to someone buy whatever TV you want, but saying it's shit because you wouldn't have got that brand..

    • Hmm. I thought I knew what I wanted at 20, now it's entirely different. And yes I also felt mature for my age back then. Things change, they always do.

  • I don't understand young marriage. I admire the commitment in it, but I don't understand it. I couldn't imagine giving up all other girls at my age. Guys are born to get a lot of pussy. That's not politically correct, but it's true. Having only one girl takes a level of sacrifice that I'm not willing to contemplate.

    That said, if you meet the right person, I guess it could work. Age doesn't always imply wisdom. Sometimes all people do as they age is get older and acquire more baggage.

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    • That's not really what all men are born to do, lmao.

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    • It's funny I've met a lot of guys like you that have a change of heart when they meet a girl that they really like. Usually the guys that say that have a bad past with women that have hurt them badly. Biology dictates nothing, because monogamy has been practiced for hundreds of years, and continues to be practiced to this day. Biology also dictates that it takes both parents to raise the child.

    • @Coffinspire LOL no, I don't hate women, nor do I have some awful past experiences with them, I'm just a really sexual person. I love girls! But that's the thing, I don't want to be strictly with one girl right now. I want to experience the thrill and enjoyment of meeting new girls. There's nothing like the feeling of penetrating a girl for the first time. That's called sex drive, and that's biology. Yes, some people mate for life when they're 21, but there are other guys like me who want the variety of different girls.

  • people on this site really need to learn what TLDR is

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  • I probably will wait a few years still but my parents were 19 and 18 when they married and they are rather successful and now at age 49 and 50 they still love each other and still go on frequent dates throughout the week :) I would say do what works for you but it certainly can work to marry young for some people.

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  • I got married at 19. We are still married 5 years later happily sooooooo i disagree.

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  • I disagree.

    First of all, yes, Steven Crowder is a Christian. Yes, he is a conservative. However, he's also a comedian. Being snarky and condescending come with the territory just like... Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert.

    Secondly, if you're upset about a comedian acting in such a way, keep that in mind the next time you hear Patton Oswalt, Janeane Garafalo, or Bill Maher say the things that they do.

    Third, the Huffington Post is just as biased towards liberals as Fox News is towards conservatives.

    Fourth, the development of the brain is irrelevant. Love and marriage are not about logic and reason. Love and marriage are about the choices you make that form who you are and involve sacrifice and humility. Logic ("compatibility") plays a basic and minimal role. Love is about the apprehension of the whole of another person rather than the mere comprehension. Age has little, if anything to do with it.

    But since you mention it...

    What if a kid wants to be the best athlete, best doctor, or best soldier he can be? Wouldn't it be a good idea to start getting himself ready younger? Did you read or see Lone Survivor? Marcus Luttrell started training to be a Navy SEAL when he was 15 years old.

    So, if a young boy wants to be the best husband, the best father, and above all, the best man that he possibly can be, doesn't it speak to his maturity if he starts making those decisions at a young age, before it even gets on most kids' radars? Doesn't that show growth? And believe you me, just because something is "exciting" doesn't mean it's good.

    You are entirely too harsh on Crowder for knowing what he wanted at 14. People complain about "ah, kids these days. They're so immature and hopeless." If you think that teenagers aren't capable of great love, maturity, selflessness, and indeed, heroism, I would encourage you to read about a young Italian girl named Chiara Badano.

    And for the record, Steven Crowder is 28.

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    • Sure that's great to work towards what you want, it doesn't mean making huge commitments before your brain is even close to being done developing is a good idea.

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    • That still doesn't answer my question. Perhaps I should rephrase it. Why is the brain and its development the most important factor in this?

    • I've already explained why the brain, biology, and logic are not sufficient to enter and maintain a relationship like marriage.

  • You should read this article about marrying young. The writer speaks from his own experience and is very wise and not judging anything. I read it this morning and it really changed my views upon the subject. www.artofmanliness.com/.../

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    • I LOVE The Art of Manliness!

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    • I wrote a less angry, more personal version if you want to read it. www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a11058-young-marriage-divorce-kids

    • Yeah I understand the point of the brain not being fully developed, but I like the argument in the other article that states it's not necessarily a bad thing. I like the idea of developing together. That being said, there is some truth in any conviction. I don't think it's wise to marry the first person you have feelings for (because you don't know how these feelings are compared to feelings you might get for another person), but I don't consider marrying under the age of 25 a bad thing. I think the ideal age to get married is somewhere between 21 and 30. (P. S.: My parents are together for 31 years now and still very happy. They never got married.)

  • I don't think you should be banned form getting married by 25... Many people are financially stable, done with school and could have a job for that. I don't think that happens often enough today, but it does happen. I for one would wait until my later 20s to achieve these things... plus, even if I had met someone I loved and wanted to marry, I think I would rather just cohabitate and have fun while we are young, then get married and do the family thing as we get older, no rush.

    I think the big difference here comes from value systems relating to marriage. You are right, conservatives are far less likely to even consider divorce, it is a sin to many and can be seen as an outcast by family members.

    My aunt got divorced from her husband because he was cheating and gave her an STI. She divorced him and my grandparents and many of her friends (she is very catholic and most of her friends are from church) all basically ostricised her. They said she should have worked through it and God forgives... This to me is pure insanity. God may forgive, but how can you side with a man with four children and has a year long affair and because he regrets it and says he was steered wrong, forgive him and call his faithful wife the sinner? crazy.

    My old friend form undergraduate is very conservative as well. He had sex with a girl (unmarried) at 18. Because of this, they now HAVE to get married. It is the only option they see to be faithful to God. They went on to a LDR through all of college and were miserable. They used to fight on the phone nightly, especially if he came out drinking with us, she was very un-trusting (he never even came close to doing anything wrong). But still, this was better than the shame they would both feel at home and internally... crazy to throw away your entire life of happiness because you had sex before marriage... They are getting married this Fall and all I see on FB is a count down until they will not (more like can't) be single forever!

    All I mean to say with these examples, is that to conservatives like this author, marriage really is forever regardless of how wrong a choice it was at what age. Whereas liberal minded people, such as ourselves, don't see marriage ins such final terms. I agree, many people do need to work harder at it before throwing in the towel (especially young people getting married) but ultimately, these value differences don't allow for a good conversation between these two camps. But that guy was far too rude

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  • I don't believe it's about age, but maturity and responsibility. But it worked out for my parents, they both got married at 22 years old, had me a year later and they are still happily married for 18 years right now so far. So I guess it just depends on the couple.

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  • Yes, I agree with you. We need to learn more life values to be mature and gain life experience before we reach 25 for marriage.

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  • oh man, in two years i'm going to be 25 but sad to say i never have a girlfriend how much more getting married lol

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What Girls Said 22

  • This should be changed to "People who don't know what they want shouldn't get married". Face it, after what I have been reading, full grown adults act up more of a fool than young folks.

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  • yep that's why i'm waiting til i'm 25

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  • When my mum and dad got married together they were both under 25, age is just a number

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  • I don't agree with marriage at all. It's way too messy. Ceremonies are great and beautiful, but the government should have nothing to do with your relationship.

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    • The government does very little with your relationship. Instead, they give you benefits for being married; that's they only reason they restrict marriage ages and redefine what a marriage is so as to include other couples into getting those benefits. Trust me when I say you want those benefits, too.

      The government needs money to work, and it gets that money from its citizens. To make sure everyone is making a worthwhile contribution, they have taxes, taking a "small" portion from every dollar here and there. Some things are taxed higher, such as cigarettes and alcohol, called the "Sin Tax". You want to do unhealthy things, fine, but we're going to charge you for it, since you clearly have more money than you need.

      When you're married, they go easier on you both, and having kids or dependents will save you some on your income taxes so you have more money to spend on taking care of them.

      Young couples can't get married because the government doesn't want to give those benefits. (cont)

    • (cont) They originally didn't give gay couples those benefits because the idea of them was to have money to spend on raising a family, and since gay couples can't reproduce, the marriage was pointless. Times have changed, and people have shown that gay couples can still adopt, and married couples don't always have kids anyways, and some couples get divorced and raise kids without the marriage benefits, so the benefits are currently only applying to the couple anyways, and has nothing to do with procreation.

      However, they still have the limit on younger people due to still being dependents themselves, relying on their parents. I disagree with age 25 restriction personally, and say 18 is fine because they are technically an adult and have the right to make decisions about their future, including who to spend it with.

      The government just intervenes and muddles because they're giving up some of their money to help support you and your relationship. It's just looking out for itself.

    • @idnhswp You just made my day,

      @kiomadoushi Relationship status should have nothing to do with taxes to begin with. The government does get involved, especially in divorce. The courts get involved with your income, assets, and debts. It has nothing to do with protecting government money, but getting their hands into your pockets. Marriage is a legal contract, and has nothing to do with true love.

  • I dont agree with a lot of your points. Maybe it's more because of the way you worded it.
    But these two points are the ones O disagree the most with,
    1". However, I’m going to assume that he is a religious man and so is his family, so that leads me to believe that these people frown upon or maybe even do not allow divorce. Therefore, it’s not like they have that choice so no wonder they’re still together." Your somewhat lost me at the word "assume."

    And also the part where you say , "It's not like they have that choice."
    I don't think that is valid.

    And divorce isn't an easy thing to do. You won't get it till you are in that situation. It is hard emotionally, financially, etc.
    It is not like dating for a few months and then breaking up.

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  • Err, I don't know why anything the says actually mattered to you, considering that according the wiki page this guy used to be a Fox News contributor.

    That's pretty self explanatory and requires no further action.

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  • Wow, finally a take where I can say A LOT about. Your opinion was rather interesting to read. And while I do see your points, I'm going to have to disagree with a lot of what you wrote. Hopefully in less than a rude way!

    I'll go through my points in accordance to the order you wrote this take.

    First of all, I would like to say it is a very bad idea to even contemplate of banning marriage if you are under the age of 25. Biologically our bodies are able to reproduce much before that, so speaking from a purely scientific background, we should be able to mate near puberty and it is ideal to do so. (Keep in mind this is scientific, not my opinion on what should be the social norm). But I just wanted to illustrate that setting an age limit of "25" has no basis in the world of reason, as it is incredibly ambiguous.

    Let me elaborate further. Many females mature before men. A woman of 25 may have the maturity of a 30 year old, while a man of 25 may have the maturity of a 20 year old. So maturity has less to do with a certain limit, and more to do with how people grow, and that's different for everyone. This counts for personal growth as well. There are people who have nothing figured out and they are 40 years old, does that mean they shouldn't be in a relationship? It is important to grow as individuals, but realize, that it is possible to grow together as well. And there are some who have a well established sense of self awareness when they are in their early 20s. Does that mean they should be held back because a law states they are just not "ready"?

    I hope you don't mind this lengthy response, but I have a lot more to add.

    You mentioned, "I’m going to assume that he is a religious man and so is his family, so that leads me to believe that these people frown upon or maybe even do not allow divorce." Now, first of all, assumptions have no basis on anything except personal opinion. Which is fine, but it is difficult to imprint that on every single religious person. There is no correlation to being religious and divorce. If you would like to assume, assume the pros as well. The reason divorce may be frowned upon may be because people opt out of relationships rather than working hard to get through problems together. Or its better for younger children to grow up in a house hold with both parents rather than just one.

    Now I know you said, you know and understand if parents divorce. But realize, you did not understand this until you were much older.(Contd...)

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    • ... You may not mind, and actually understand quite well why your parents divorced, but you cannot speak for everyone. There are children who are greatly saddened and confused by the split of their parents. NOTE: I am not saying divorce is horrible, sometimes people don't get a long and there is no other option. Hey it happens. I'm not saying it's a bad thing. But I don't think all religions ban it either.

      A marriage is based much more than just two people being in love. It is hard work, and a lot of other factors play a role. Just because two people are in love, does not mean the marriage will be successful. It does not qualify a happy family, and certainly does not mean they will be together forever. Life happens, and even when you love someone sometimes it is not enough to be together.

      You cannot cite one study, there are so many extraneous variables to consider. Plus, correlation does not equal causation. (Contd...)

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    • What do you think about parents staying to together without being married? I think it's more authentic, because the same financial and legal benefits aren't there... They may be staying together mostly because they genuinely like each other.

    • That's a good point! Some people have kids or get married just for benefits, sadly. But I think a relationship might become "loose" over time if a couple has been living together for a long time with a family together. There is less of a responsibility I guess on the relationship, especially for a guy because he doesn't feel as committed as he would if it were his wife. I'm not saying it won't work, but it's probably not for everyone.

  • Human brains are fully developed at age 21. That along with a few other flaws lead me to disagree even more so with this post.

    Being 25 doesn't magically make you ready to get married just like being 18 doesn't magically make you ready for the world. I know lots of people that got married before they were 25 and they're just fine. Great, even. I also know a few that were married after 25 that are either unhappy or divorced. Age doesn't grant you the ability to make good decisions or to be at a certain level of maturity or to be able to do things like getting married. Sure, legality has some to do with it, but my point is clear enough.

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  • my parents got married at 19 and 23 and my sister married her husband at 21 and 23 both of these couples are still together but i get your point i dont want to get married unless i really, really loved him but i definitely won't have kids too early because i want to travel and get an education and having kids will weigh me down

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  • Well for women that statement is useless, because woman mature 2 years faster than men, and also, between 18-25 the prefrontal cortex is almost done developing, which holds decision making, and the reward system (what can I get out of this). So it really doesn't apply to a relationship they are just less likely to give in to peer pressure. I've been married since I was 21, dating my husband since I was 17 and have known him since I was 14. I've been with him for a total of 6 years now and wouldn't change it for anything or anyone. We have both always been mature for our age though, so that could explain why we work, and we both need something that the other has. Also, I think it's a great idea to get married before 25 because you have a better success rate for your offspring (carrying and development) at the approx. age of 23. Obviously, that wasn't factored into his calculation. Just because your brain isn't "fully developed" doesn't mean it's not working lol

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    • I know it can work. It's just definitely not a bad idea to wait and be sure because it's a huge decision to make.

    • I wrote a less angry, more personal version if you want to read it. www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a11058-young-marriage-divorce-kids

    • I think a better argument is the fact that couples don't spend enough time together to actually make the decision they're making. Studies show that people that have been together for at least 4 years prior to marriage have a better success rate than those that have been together for a year or two. Which makes total sense because even though I've been with my husband for 6 years, I learn new things about him all the time. You brought up a great point in your other take, the impulse marriage is a growing phenomenon and people really don't think about what it's going to do to their children. I think that's why there has been so much divorce and infidelity (besides the widely accepted option of divorce just because you aren't happy and are too lazy to work on it, not the case for everyone though) I have also been victim of an absent father (good riddance!) And my mom married him when she was 26, but she was still naïve

  • People change with time. But that holds true for people of all ages. Young love may not always be rational, but it can be quite strong. Young people are deeply impressionable. The saying "you never forget your first love" is evidence of that. My grandparents got married when my grandpa was 17 and my grandma was 16. And they are still just cutesy gooey in love with each other. There are lot of factors that determine whether married people stay together or not--not just age. And a lot of couples who get married later in life end up divorced, too.

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  • My parent's got married at 18 and 19 and they are still together 30 years later and they are still head over heels for each other

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  • What complete and utter rubbish you have written.. And as for saying that my brain has not fully developed, I find this totally insulting.

    Explain this to me if you will, according to your article I have supposedly not matured and my brain is not functioning properly.. So please tell me how it is that am able to own and run three extremely successful businesses, I have almost 100 employees, and I have a turnover approaching £5m.

    Now, onto the main subject here.. I started going out with my future husband when I was thirteen years old.. We moved in together when I was seventeen years old.. I became engaged on my twenty first birthday.. And we got married last September, when I was twenty four and a half years old.

    So Miss "Clever Clogs" ( @ForeverYours39 ) give this your very best shot in convincing me, that I have got it all wrong.. And that I should have waited for this, that or the other to happen first.

    And finally, may you too continue in life making stupid mistakes, such as writing such pathetic nonsensical claptrap articles.

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    • Alright, cool, I see you're seeing this objectively and not at all taking this personally. And you definitely read that your brain is not fully developed UNTIL 25, instead of thinking that at 25 it's still not fully developed. Your age here says you are 25, so I'm going to assume that is your real age. It is not my opinion that your brain isn't fully developed until 25, it's scientific fact. Obviously, much of your brain is developed/developing, so you're still able to do things like you have pointed out. My point was, it seems smart to wait until your brain is completely done forming before such important decisions are made. I know I didn't explain myself well, as many people have pointed out. If I could edit or update this Take, I would in order to clear up some misunderstandings.

    • Show All
    • I wrote a less angry, more personal version if you want to read it. www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a11058-young-marriage-divorce-kids

  • I don't agree with banning; we are talking about a freedom, the freedom of choice. And no, getting married under 25 is not stupid, as neither is not undersdanding why people marry young.
    You can believe what you want, but cannot force others to believe the same.

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  • I don't believe people should get married under 30, let alone 25. Or have kids that young. Not just because people change, but because of the finances! Did you know there's 15.2 million kids from married households living in poverty, and another 16.7 million live in single parent households? That's not much of a difference. So marriage doesn't mean more stability for the kids unfortunately. I think people should establish their finances first, above everything else.

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    • And I think for the older couples having lower divorce rates... The wife was probably dependent on the husband financially.

    • Another great point! There's so much that changes financially in your mid-late 20s. Waiting is good.

  • Where's the down vote button for this MyTake?

    Age is nothing but a number. It's all about maturity. Emotionally, mentally and spiritually. According to the law,18 is considered legal to do what you want...21 just to drink. I know of some 40 year olds who aren't mature enough to marry yet... like i said, age isn't but a number.

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    • Yeah I wonder how she would explain how the generation that married in the 1950's were married right after high school, yet, had the lowest divorce rate of all time. Yet, we're living in one of the top eras for divorce AND people constantly marry 25 and older (more than they ever have.)

      Hufingtonpost is a joke of a source anyway. Everyone knows that by now.

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    • I wrote a less angry, more personal version if you want to read it. www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a11058-young-marriage-divorce-kids

    • Thank u @Take Owner and no harsh feelings. To each their own

  • It's not always a bad idea to get married before 25. If it's the right relationship with the right person, real love, then it'll work. I believe in love and God. My sister met her husband when she was 15, they started dating, then married when they were 18. Now they've been married for over 4 years, they're happily married and have a baby boy and pregnant with their 2nd baby. And my paternal grandma and my grandma met and got married when she was 16, he was 18 and my dad was a baby, had 2 more boys and they made it until my grandma died due to health problems when she was 60. They were married for 43 years until she died. It's about marrying the right person.

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  • I completely agree our minds are changing as we grow older as well as our interests. And thats true ! I go out and im still responsible i do what i need to do first.. Also Moving in with my boyfriend is what i wanted to do before getting married and to see how they are like and how they change or to see whether or not its still what he wants too.. Its less likely to become divorced that way and a great way to get closer

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    • Funny, you are actually more likely to get divorced if you live together before marriage, but not for why you would think (or how many argue it).

      Fundamentally, the people who choose to wait to move in until marriage are far less likely to even consider divorce an option as those who do live together before marriage. Basically all I mean is that if you wait, you likely won't even consider divorce, regardless of how unhappy you are. But in the end, if you live together before marriage you are almost third more likely to divorce statistically speaking. Just don't let anyone trip you up with that one. :)

    • I can see where your coming from too .. Well see how it goes i mean weve been together for 4 years and now were getting ready to move in.. I wonder what the reason is behind somone becoming more likely to get a divorce if they move in together before marriage? Or for what they believe The reason is..

    • @ccp16

  • OK. So you think people under 25 should be banned from getting married? My grandparents got married when they were 16 and 19 years old (grandpa was 19, grandma was 16) and they're still together- very happily I might add. All of their friends got married young, and all of them are still together and happily married. When I compare that to most 30-year-olds nowadays, who get married, get pregnant as soon as possible, and divorce right after the baby is born, I don't see why people SHOULDN'T marry young. I think the problem is that people nowadays think about fun only- not about responsibility or life-long commitment. No. Fun is the most important, and especially boredom is considered something to be kept out of your life. So when the butterflies start melting away and you "love your partner, but you aren't in love anymore" the most logical thing is to file for a divorce. So you can start chasing butterflies again.

    The wrong values are being presented to us as the right ones. That's where the problem is. It has nothing to do with age- it has everything to do with how you want to see marriage.
    I married relatively "young" (I was 20) and I couldn't be happier. I've only been married for two and a half years, but my values are the right ones and I know we'll be married for life. But please, older person, tell me that I shouldn't have gotten married because to you I'm too yound and stupid to do so anyway no matter how mature I am :)

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  • I believe that people should get married whenever they are sure that they are with the right person. Some young people that get married don't always know what they are doing. I think that if you are mature and responsible enough then it shouldn't be a problem.

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