The Real Reason Men Don't Want to Get Married in Their 20's

On the surface, it seems that more men than ever have no interest in marriage.

It's true that marriage rates are declining and more people are delaying marriage until they're older. But why is that?

Most people will tell you that it's because of everything that men stand to lose in a divorce -- half their money and assets, the kids, and the family life they dreamed of having. That's the logical reason for delaying or avoiding marriage. However, marriage hasn't been a logical decision in Western culture for decades. It's an emotional decision.

The real reason that men are losing interest in marriage is because we've realized that we don't have to get married to get the life we want. Sadly for women, men have the upper-hand in the marriage market and we are waking up to this fact.

Men Have More Options Than Women

Let's be real here. There's no shortage of young, attractive women that want to get married. If we don't find a girl that would make a great wife this year, millions of girls will graduate college and hit the market next year.

However, there is a shortage of guys that make great candidates for husbands. We can blame it on a number of things, but that's the sad reality.

Men Become Better Marriage Candidates With Age (To a Certain Point)

The Real Reason Men Don't Want to Get Married in Their 20's

As men age, we get wiser, we become better leaders, and we are more established in our careers to provide a better life for our potential families. The younger we get married, the less value we have in the dating market. The longer we wait, the better wife we can get.

Men can produce offspring far later in life than women can, so there's no rush for us to get married. Women on the other hand, have a shorter biological clock for fertility.

We Can Have Our Cake and Eat It Too

As a result from the points I mentioned above, men can spend their 20's sleeping with all the women they want, then get married and have a family in their 30's.

It's well-documented throughout history that men have a natural desire for multiple sexual partners. However, there are plenty of us guys that still want to be an amazing husband and father. In the past, we were forced to pick one lifestyle or the other. Now we can have both. (Not at the same time, of course.)

Conclusion

The logical argument against marriage makes sense and is definitely worthy of consideration, but personally I think this is just an excuse that guys use to hide the real reason they don't want to get married in their 20's. We don't have to.


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What Girls Said 12

  • I'm sorry i found this really funny 😂 😂 😂 #generalisation394

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  • As if most men even have the opportunity to "sleep around"...

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  • i agree with this. i think i have a man's mentality. i slept with ONLY the hottest young (yes younger is better) men and lots of them in my 20s and now that i've found the best candidate i'm settling down while enjoying the finer things in life ♡

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  • 3mo

    Women are raised to want to get married but a lot grow up and develop extremely detailed checklists basically in my opinion because a part of them doesn't really want that anymore but they feel they should so in a way they just find a way to make sure it doesn't happen. Woman can work, sleep around (contraception), have children out of wedlock and use DNA tests to make sure the guy takes care of end of things or choose to not even let him know he has a child if she can do it on her own and doesn't want to deal with him. I have friends who have hit sperm banks (same donor) -sperm is cheap and easy to come by you can even go for the source- and raised their kids together.. some even getting married to their close friends now that it's legal. Woman too can have their cake and eat it too. I see no problem. Marriage isn't for everyone and many people are waking up to that fact and that's good, it will bode better for divorce rates in the future.

    I am happily married by the way but take no issue with people going their own way and doing their own thing... more power to them!

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  • no one wants to get married in their twenties.

    and you're wrong. whatever you think it 'looks' like./ more men are interested in marriage. women are getting less and less interested by the year. thats why guys have to leave their country to get married.

    anyhow marriages fail bc people are assholes. getting married doesn't mean roll stay married.

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    • actually studies show that men are less interested in marriage than women, women are becoming more interested in marriage and men less. the further away from the sexual revolution we get the greater this trend is.

    • Azara, go to Google and search on "70% of men not getting married". You'll be surprised at what you read!

  • The younger we get married, the less value we have in the dating market. The longer we wait, the better wife we can get.

    Stopped reading there. Far from true. Everyone I know got married at age 22-26.

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    • And everyone you know isn't the world. Stop avoiding the heavy reality of your situation.

    • I hardly know anyone who got married before 26, unless they're my parents age.

  • lol, this is also why women need to stop putting marriage on a pedestal and being so desperate for it.

    When you start valuing the need to get married over the quality of man you choose to marry, then women end up marrying men who think like you do. Which is sad because a sensible women with any type of depth wouldn't even consider marrying a man who thinks like you do, no matter the age.

    The fact that there are so many attractive women out there only means that women need to bring more to a relationship than appearance and that men need to value more traits than just appearance.

    You're not getting married because you have too many options "to just pick one". It's because you're too immature to realize that relationships are more than just a hot girl.

    I'm all for waiting until you're sure to settle down, get married and to wait even longer to have children. But if you haven't learned that relationships involve more than how a girl looks while she's 20 years old, then please wait a very long time before you get married.

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  • Lol i dont want to get married in my twenties either (not sure i wanna get married at all). A lot of my friends wanna get married in their thirties or meet the right man in their twenties but only settle down with them in their thirties, for a variety of reasons

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    • the chances a women marries in there thirties is very slim

    • @dudeman not really, at least I dont think so. To me the chances a marriage lasts if you get married in your twenties is slim at least if i do, which I won't

  • I haven't really seen this. My guy is 4 years younger and was already talking abouy wanting to settle down w/me after only going out for a few months... he was 24. He proposed to me after going out for 6 months. I'm the reason why we are still not married yet 4 years later. I wanted to take my time and not rush into it.

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    • I'm 55. You are LUCKY to have a 24 year old man wanting to marry you! For Men, TIME is on their side. Do you see yourself having children with him? Women 30-35 start hearing their biological clock ticking. Get married and start having babies if that is what you want. Go to Google and search on "70% of men not getting married". You'll be surprised at what you read!

  • I would hate hate to marry a guy who thinks and acts like that.

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    • "thinks and acts like that" - you mean logically?

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    • @zagor to think it's ok to whore around yourself but want to marry a girl who is a virgin? Do I really have to explain that? It's just one example obviously.

      And hypocrisy is not all that's wrong with this take, it's sexist, objectifying, full false statements, arrogant... am I missing something? Oh ya shallow

      It's actually kinda funny how the author goes through great lengths to describe how guys like him have no trouble getting married because he is such great husband material. But he's not. All the things he does and how he sees women puts into the not marriage material category. He's right with one thing, there are very few men who would make good husbands and those are the guys that don't think like that

      Also I have a feeling guys like this are the same ones who at 35 suddenly realized they want to get married but fail to understand that dating takes time and luck to they throw a ring the next best option and then wine about getting screwed over in divorce.

    • Where does he say anything about marrying a virgin?

  • This is so untrue. I know plenty of men that are in their 20s and are married. My ex friend got married at 21. My other ex friend got married at 27. Also, women like attractive men too. We don't want to marry a guy who fucks every women and is a walking std and wants to get serious because he realizes he's getting fat and less attractive. I know a couple at my church that I visit who got married and they are both in their 20s. Graduating college does not mean that a person is ready for marriage. People go to college at different ages. Also, I know people who got married in high school

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    • Also this mytake is sexist

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    • @Rpf1918 this mytake generalizes men and women and makes it assume that only women want to get married

    • @Rpf1918 I disagree even though she's older does not mean she looks old. She was 26 at the time older than me but she is pretty and she can pass for a 16 year old girl. She has a great career and she has a big family. Her husband travels a lot so I do not honestly see why she pushed him to marry her. I seriously doubt that

  • Tell this to my boyfriend, he won't shut up about marriage. I won't get married until AFTER college that's my firm stance.

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    • You and your boyfriend are rare exceptions. For the MOST part, women want to settle down early and men wait much much longer. It's quite obvious really.

    • @EnglishArtsteacher by why stereotype when you can be intelligent and view people as individuals?

    • no shit a guy would marry a young women. alert the presses.

What Guys Said 35

  • With the amount of women out there, and given how easy you can get them, there's no reason to get married in your early 20's, unless you're someone who just wants to be with one person and have sex with that one person only.
    I don't plan on settling down until my late 20's, unless I find the perfect girl earlier, but I won't be looking for her until later in life.
    Right now there's not even reasons to be in a relationship, so marriage is completely out of the table.
    Like you said, us men hold the upper hand when it comes to marriage, or basically relationships in general, because more girls want that than men. Just like women hold the upper hand when it comes to sex.
    Also, men usually go for younger girls, why girls go for older men, therefore, we can keep growing old and messing around cause we can still land a young woman when we're 28-30, while a woman who's 30 most likely won't be able to land a man younger than her, and most likely she won't even want a younger man, but at age 30, men are typically settled down or with a woman in mind, so there's less options for them.

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  • I feel emotional decision marriages are mainly a modern times (20th-21st century) thing. As long as society was agrarian, most marriages would be arranged between parents or forced because of a pregnancy, despite what people read in romantic literature about love marriages.
    Then there's another point: medical advance: up to WW2, there were no antibiotics Men wanting children needed to have them before their wife died.
    And they died earlier in average. Look up some historical data on perinatal deaths. eg: my dads first wife died giving birth in 1939. My mother in law nearly died giving birth duing the fifties.

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  • sounds about right. no sluts and fat chicks allowed.

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  • This makes no sense.

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  • I can agree. It's natures fcked up joke on men lol. All the undergrad girls will always get the attention then they start becoming more and more unattractive past 22 years old. Not saying all but a lot of them do. Most men get better looking with age if they stay in shape.

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  • It's definitely a mix of men not wanting a relationship, not needing one, and standing to lose a lot in overabundant divorces.

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  • No ty. Good way to get stds

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  • This is obviously the secular opinion of this take.

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  • Probably the biggest pile of horse crap I've ever read on this site. Only a brainless moron would believe this drivel.

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  • women have the upper hand in today's dating world. For every girl there are several thirsty guys. Women still initiate a majority of divorces in America (they dictate the love life). Trust me, when more women get confidence, men are going to lose most of their power in this arena.

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  • I think I am going to get a girlfriend and marry her when I am 30. I have bigger things to focus on than banging a bunch of broads but my pick up game could use some work.

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  • Im in my 20's and I want to get married in 2-3 years. I banged a lot of chicks when I was 19, tried all the flavors and honestly could say it was way worse then when I was in a relationship. This is all subjective to me though obviously, everyone is different. Everything is subjective the individual, people need to understand first and foremost.

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  • The real reason in one sentence: They want to fuck a bunch of girls while they can.

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  • I actually want to be married in my 20's.

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  • Good enough points, although there are several guys (like me) that want to get married and have a family young.

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  • People don't know the real reason to get married. Use your minds, read from different cultures and books and learn.

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  • They nvr were cuz all they think about is hook ups and casual smex. Its all about how many P€$$¥ they can drill their hammers with before settling down to one. Its all about dem trophies baby 👌🏻

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  • The Real Reason (Some) Men Don't Want to Get Married in Their 20's

    FTFY.

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  • I personally want to get married (preferably before 30) as well as have kids, and I do not plan on sleeping around before then. But still, I understand your reasoning for this.

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  • I want to get married in my 20's, I would just prefer I was at least 25 first.

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