Different Basic Reasons Why People Marry and Whether It'll Last or Not

[Realfire22]

Origin of Marriage

Despite what many (want to) believe, God ordained and performed marriage so that Adam (a male) wouldn't be lonely. So God put Adam into a deep sleep, took his rib, created Eve (a woman), then gave her to him much like a parent gives their daughter away to the groom.

Most Common Reasons People Marry

1) To Escape Prior Life

Whether it's to escape the living arrangements under a parent/guardian, a religion or a country, whatever the reason, this is a form of running away. Depending on the reason, this type of marriage may last.

2) The Shotgun

This is where a guy's life is threatened by the girl's family (namely by a male relative) to marry her. The most common reason for this kind of marriage is because the guy impregnated the girl and the girl's family wants to assure (usually with a shotgun) that the guy takes on full responsibility for his carelessness.

3) No Bastard Babies Allowed in This Family!

This is kind of like a shotgun marriage. There are a lot of grand family names that are infamous and well respected by most. If word got out that one of their own (namely a female member) was pregnant out of wedlock, they would either risk having their family name treated like mud, cut that female out of the family by disowning her, or if she's a valuable member, they would force her to marry (any guy. Whether the child's father or a well to do man) so her child will not be a bastard and treated terribly by society.

4) Puppy Love

Also known as infatuation or simple lust. This kind of marriage is the most common parent of divorce. Two people (commonly found in young people ages 16-25) think they are so much in love so they decide to get married without thinking about the reality of what a true successful marriage takes. One thing for sure,you cannot be lazy in a marriage. But that's for another myTake. Once the honeymoon phase is over and reality starts to hit, the puppy love couple suddenly decide that marriage wasn't such a fun idea as they thought it would be. So they either cheat and eventually divorce/separate/one of them run off.

5) The Marriage Bed is Honored by God/Sex, Sex and More SEXXX!!!!!

Most strict religious people are adamant (stubborn) about no sex before marriage. So they would hurry up and marry the most acceptable person just so they can have their sexual healing. But of course, much like the puppy love marriage, it won't even last long.

6) To Save the Family

This is a martyr type marriage. This is where a man and a woman marry just for material/monetary support for themselves or their family. This type of marriage has a better chance of lasting than most, but it still depends on the individuals and the situation.

7) Just for the Sake of Pure, Genuine Luuuuuuve <3

This is the best reason to marry. You romantically love someone (that's not related to you. Some people are mentally sick and disgusting) so much that you honestly can't imagine living the rest of your life without them in it. You're each other's closest best friend. No one else can make you quite so content and happy like that person can. You marry purely for the sake of true love, you be happily married til death do you part. <3

8) "I Don't Want to be an Old Maid with 30 Cats"/"I Don't Want the Guys Calling Me the 40yr old Virgin (male)"....Don't Want to be Lonely/Live by Myself

This kind of marriage is most commonly found in mid age and older people. They don't want to live the rest of their life by themselves (usually they've no prospects) so they marry someone they get along well with, but aren't exactly in love with them. This kind of marriage isn't so passionate, full of fireworks or excitement. It's just quiet and very peaceful usually. Nothing wrong with this kind of marriage and it usually lasts til death do you part. And, if lucky, you may eventually find yourself head-over-heels in love.

*Note from the author* I hope you've enjoyed this myTake. This is the second one I've ever written. It was placed in my heart to write this and I must say I genuinely enjoyed myself. Even if it did literally take away 3 hours of my sleep to write XD. I didn't mind it though. I had pictures to go along with each section, but G@G wouldn't let them upload. Smh. Anyway, til next time. See you in the comments. :)

[vonasaurus]

first of all, thanks for sharing; you've done a lot of work on this article, and it was a fun read. :)

my sister was #2/3~ she was 19 and in her first semester of college when her then-18 year-old boyfriend got her pregnant. they've now been married for 6 years, but he was originally going to leave her... so my dad took him to task, insisted that he stick around, since "too many kids in this family have grown up without their fathers"... though, knowing my dad, it's entirely possible that a threat was involved. lol.

(he isn't wrong, though; most marriages in my family have ended within 5 years because the aforementioned fathers cheated or otherwise fucked off with someone else.)

i'll be #7~ my other half and i just had our one-year anniversary and, even though we've lived together for most of our relationship and have been madly in love from day one, we're waiting until at least the 2-year mark before he proposes... and i'm okay with that.

before i met him, i never planned, or even had any desire to get married, though meeting an awesome guy (who is my equal, in every sense of the word) changed that.

thanks to my parents, and countless other relatives, i won't have to repeat their mistakes. a good wedding and a good marriage are not the same thing, so i'm going to do it once, and do it right.

-von

[Realfire22]

Omg I'm so very happy for u! And thank u so much for such a sweet comment. I'm glad u enjoyed it. My goal is to marry for #7 too, and ik I will.
If I was pregnant this year, it would've been #2/3 for me too.

I wish u and your soulmate all the best. 💗

[oddwaffle]

You forgot the real reason to marry: to produce and raise children. Without some form of social contract (marriage) men would ran off to other women and leave the pregnanted women (lots still do). So a marriage is a form of social contract forcing the man to stick around and be a father.

Back in the olden age, there was a bastard bond. So if you have sex with a woman (willing or unwilling), you can be put into a bastard bond. It's like child support for the woman in the medieval age. The rape thing is never a topic, the bastards are a lot more important.

Moving up a bit, you have the political marriages. In the far East, connections are formed from marriages. If you are a well known family, having your first daughter marrying the heir of a powerful family then produces an heir is like a ticket to survival for the family. Of course, until that powerful family get hit with a treason charge then you get executed along with them because you are technically connected.

Ofcourse there is the most basic of them all, economics. A lot of marriages between poorer couples through out history has to do with economics. A marriage is like having a room mate. You share a lot of stuff so you don't have to spent too much. One person can take care of the other if things happen. Both can work and share income to increase their wealth.

[Realfire22]

Thank you for taking the time out to read my MyTake and commenting. As far as I'm familiar with, most of what u said is absolutely correct. I'll try my best to do better if I ever write another MyTake. :)

[93stepsawayfromhome]

There we go again.

— "Despite what many (want to) believe, God ordained and performed marriage so that Adam (a male) wouldn't be lonely. So God put Adam into a deep sleep, took his rib, created Eve (a woman), then gave her to him much like a parent gives their daughter away to the groom."

You state this as a fact. This would be fine if you had evidence for it. Unfortunately you have no evidence to give, because there is no evidence for it, so it's just your typical religious bullshit story.

— "This is where a guy's life is threatened by the girl's family (namely by a male relative) to marry her. The most common reason for this kind of marriage is because the guy impregnated the girl and the girl's family wants to assure (usually with a shotgun) that the guy takes on full responsibility for his carelessness."

Contraception is the responsibility of both sexual partners, not just the man. Both parents should be responsible for THEIR "carelessness", no need to blame the guy. Also, if the guy's life is threatened, he can also just call the police on the girl's family. And that being said, you can take absolutely no responsibility after marriage and you can be fully responsible before marriage. Signing a dumb paper and throwing some money around in a ceremony doesn't help matters.

— "If word got out that one of their own (namely a female member) was pregnant out of wedlock, they would either risk having their family name treated like mud, cut that female out of the family by disowning her, or if she's a valuable member, they would force her to marry (any guy).

Underage marriage is illegal and marriage between adults cannot be forced, though, so this makes no sense.

— "Most strict religious people are adamant (stubborn) about no sex before marriage."

If you think people will not understand what "adamant" means, and need to clarify it by following it up with a synonym that is more common, why not just use the synonym instead? If you don't want your audience to feel treated like elementary school children, that would help.

— "This is where a man and a woman marry just for material/monetary support for themselves or their family."

Fuck you. You know well enough why.

— "You romantically love someone (that's not related to you. Some people are mentally sick and disgusting)"

Why exactly did you feel the need to add that?

— "I had pictures to go along with each section, but G@G wouldn't let them upload."

Who says it was G@G's fault and not yours?

[93stepsawayfromhome]

According to your profile, you are "98% realistic with [your]self and those [you] talk to", and you "don't ever settle for bullshit from anyone". This take is fully within the 2%, and contradicts the second statement. In other words, this was shit.

[ThisDudeHere]

"5) The Marriage Bed is Honored by God/Sex, Sex and More SEXXX!!!"

This is where I don't understand religiously devout people. I mean it's obvious they're getting into it to get laid 'the right way'. But aren't they forgetting the fact that God can read their feelings as well? God supposedly know when you're in it because of lost and when not so she knows what your intentions are. Why bother hiding them from it?

[Realfire22]

God is a male, actually Lol.
And yes you're absolutely right about that. I didn't think about that point to add. All I know is, religious people seriously need to stop trying to fool God and themselves, and really honor God like they're supposed to.

[ThisDudeHere]

I never knew that God had a specified form. I assumed it was an spirit that for simplicity's sake may chose an male avatar because male=masculine=leader or whatever.

[Mysterio421]

You forgot to add the part where people settle down for the money. That's why I refuse to marry. There is no benefit for a man in marriage. It's a business contract, at least it is seen and signed as one by the state when you get your marriage certificate signed. By the way, what does it mean to settle down? I don't get it. What is there to settle. I am already settle with my happy bachelor life as an entrepreneur

[Realfire22]

Settling down for money is under "To Save the Family ". But I didn't think of it in the way you've mentioned.
Actually, marriage is beneficial for both sexes. Sure, in foreign countries only the man has to be well-to-do so he can take care of his family, but that's because those countries don't permit women to work. They see them as weaklings.
In America and I'm sure a couple other countries, both the man and woman are allowed to work and provide for the family. It's supposed to be beneficial for both. Both are supposed to support each other mentally, spiritually, emotionally, financially and sexually/physically. Not one doing two of these while the other does three. Both are supposed to do all 5/6 of these.

Now about setting. You feel just fine being a bachelor, but it's only because you're still young. Most guys your age are feeling their freedom to the utmost. They sleep around with everything and everybody, get drunk, drive extremely fast... because they're without a care in the world and

[Mysterio421]

How is marriage beneficial to a man? No, young or not I like my freedom. I do care and as a matter of fact own a business. I know how it's like. Both genders working or not, that's not the main reason why people in marriages who subscribe to other cultures work. It's the unity. Marriage is give and take. Not someone you settle with because your desperate or need money or sex or to show off. It's someone who you truly love. Not infatuation. There is a difference. Staying with your partner in the good AND bad times and not running away when the bad times come.

[Realfire22]

they're still feeling their wild oaks. Not saying that you're exactly like that, but most are.
In your case, you're happy with not having a wife because you feel she'll be your leech. And right now, your money when u get it, is yours and you don't have a crazy woman at your side constantly using up your money. But you'll find out soon enough that not all women are like that. Just like some women have to retrain their minds that not all men want a woman for his personal living sex slave.
Right now, sure you're fine with how things are, but give it 20-35 years from now. I bet your tune would've already changed.

[Mysterio421]

Lol. I never said all women. That was your interpretation. Seeing the courts how they are and laws. Especially when my business continues to thrive, I will certainly not. Don't want to waste the years and money from working my ass off to someone who was with me for a year or so. Do you want to get married?

[Realfire22]

My bad on the misinterpretation. :p

Yes, I do want to get married and someday I will. I really want a family of my own. :3

[Bluemax]

I would say a combination of 6 and 7 is the most stable and likely to survive.

[Realfire22]

I see what u mean.

[OrdinaryGentleman]

I want to be 20 dogs guy by the age of 40. Ill be rich as hell and happy too:P

[Realfire22]

Lol not a thing wrong with that

[Speedy94]

I never want to get married. That is my personal opinion ofcourse. :)

[Realfire22]

nothing wrong with that. I might ask you again in another20 years. Lol

[Speedy94]

Sure haha but i asure you that the answer will be the same :p nice try tho

[serious]

I have decided to stay single till death. The decision is final.

[Realfire22]

That's cool. Marriage isn't for everybody.

[serious]

Yes, that's right.

[thewanderingme]

7 genuine love doesn't guarantee a good, happy marriage. many people who are still in love end up divorcing or miserable while still together.

[Realfire22]

They're either really young, or naive about how it should be in a marriage to make it last.
Either way though the point to this MyTake is to explain the reasons people married, it's not a "how to survive marriage " MyTake. I may write that later on. :)

Anyway, thank u for taking your time out to read it and commenting. Any feedback is a growing experience to a true writer. :)

[thewanderingme]

"... and whether it will last or not."

"... No one else can make you quite so content and happy like that person can. You marry purely for the sake of true love, you be happily married til death do you part."

no need to bullshit. ;)

[Anonymous]

Yeah marriage predates the invention of christianity, so your first sentence paragraph is essentially a lie.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

God did create marriage. Of course marriage came before the invention of Christianity. Jesus wasn't born yet.

[Opinion Owner]

@Cookies_AndMilk Except marriage existed before humans invented "god" and religion

[Realfire22]

@Cookies_AndMilk is absolutely correct.

Humans did not create God. He's infinity. The Bible clearly states that God made (created) humans.
The only thing you're right about is humans creating religion. God has nothing to do with religion and these different doctrines. All God cares about is whether or not we have accepted Jesus into our hearts and choose to live His Way.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Yes exactly! Very well said. :)

[Realfire22]

Thank you. You too. :)

[Opinion Owner]

And that's all good, IF you believe in god / jesus etc.

However, I do not. :)

[Realfire22]

*shrugs* Do u. :)