6 Types of People You Should Never Marry

A person who doesn't want to get married (duh!)

Marriage is a choice and as with many choices that we make in life, there is a yes option and a no option. Know that some people just don't want to get married. You shouldn't have to beg, bribe, lure, blackmail, or badger someone into marrying you, nor should you assume that just because you've dated so many years, that means this is clearly the time it should happen. Listen very carefully to someone who lets you know, they want nothing to do with marriage. There's nothing wrong with you wanting to get married, and you should never be made to feel ashamed for wanting a life where you are married, but you just may need to definitely look elsewhere if it is something that is that important to you.

A person who's "in love" with their mom (or family)

Just about every person can appreciate a partner who loves their mom or their family. It's often a very good sign that this is a person who is going to show you the same love and respect that he or she shows for their own mother/family, but there is the person who loves their mom and the person "in love" with her. The latter puts absolutely no boundaries on their relationship. Mom can come over any time she wants, she has rights to make rules and control your house when she's over, your partner always sides with their mom no matter if she's totally in the wrong or absolutely crossing the line, they call each other six or seven times a day, they still go over to her house to do laundry or eat (and don't bother to even invite you), s/he uses their mom as their personal shrink often talking about your own personal private problems and then mortified, you hear about them from her and what she thinks you need to do to fix them.

It is clear in no uncertain terms that for the rest of your life, you will always be number two to their mom or family no matter what, even though you're married to each other and not the family. Pass on this one unless you want to spend your entire life trying to fight for a spot at the table.

A partner dealing with addiction or chronic depression

Sometimes there is a time, place, and a season to be with certain people. When your partner is in the middle of a crippling depression or dealing with an intense addiction, this may not be the prime time to decide to get into a long term marriage. When someone is dealing with addiction, their drug of choice is much stronger than anything and anyone around them. Food, sex, drugs, alcohol, technology, etc. These are people who can't stop and can't walk away. They want, nay, need that thing, more than they so a healthy connected relationship and if you come along, you may find yourself not getting anything in return.

Even someone entering into recovery has a lot going on and needs to focus on their sobriety. It's needs to not be about you in that time in their life. Often times they will try to replace their addictions with becoming addicted to something else, like you. Sounds great, but it becomes like an obsession and when you disappoint or don't come through or aren't there as their everything, every second, all the time, you can get royally burned.

With chronic depression, your partner may be dealing with issues well above your pay grade, and there is no shame in admitting that you don't have the tools to help them deal with what they are dealing with. You can still support them, but hold off on or don't marry them. They may be dealing with things that even they don't know how to understand as going on with them or they may not be able to make sense of their lives or how you can fit into that life anymore.

You may faced with the impossible task of trying to hold them up all the time as well as deal with whatever is going on with your own life, kids, work, the rest of the world. You just may end up basically dating yourself because the other person is so checked out of their own lives to even recognize you as existing anymore which can be extremely painful.

A partner who's job is their spouse

Even with the most demanding jobs on earth, if a person wants to be in a relationship with another human being, they must want to give up some of their time to the other person freely and without reserve or feeling like its a hardship. Don't misunderstand, a lot of couples go through periods, where one or the other or both, have to go at it hard in order to build up to something bigger, or to get those dream jobs, or provide for the family, but even then, you should be able to say to one another, every Wednesday, for example, is our time to connect, if that's all we have, and you stick to it.

All work and no play makes a sour relationship because the other person will start to feel like, if they haven't already, that they have no priority in your life if they aren't something to do with work. Meaning, your calls and texts go unanswered, but if you were to call right back from the office phone, they pick up right away.

Anyone with a case of the me, me, mes

It takes two to tango in a marriage. Your partner gives, you give. You figure out a healthy split of responsibilities. You support them, they support you in what you do. If there is not a good balance and one partner is just expecting that you need to always be there for them and do what they want, but when the tables are turned, they are a constant no show, don't seem to have much respect for what's important to you, or feel like your needs are a burden, do NOT marry this person. They are, or at least, have really narcissistic tendencies, and can't be bothered to see a world that revolves around anyone but themselves.

A cheater

If you are in a relationship right now with someone you know or find out has been double timing you by still dating someone else or is worse, still married to someone else, get those big dumb stars out of your eyes. If they are willing to do what they are doing to someone else with you now, really honestly, don't be surprised when they get bored or need to get their rocks off with something new, and do the same thing to you. Yes, once a cheater, always a cheater. People can change over time, but that time certainly doesn't happen in between their spouses sheets and your own.


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What Guys Said 11

  • 1mo

    I ain't marrying any of those people

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  • 1mo

    This all seems like common sense to me.

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  • 1mo

    Instead of "marry" I would have said "date", cause if you're dating someone and you see something like this, you should bail asap.

    I agree with everything. I've talked to some girls that displayed some of these things, and I'm glad I never dated them.

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    • 1mo

      Well, you'd have to actually be dating someone in the first place to even pick up on some of these things, and even then, some people become blinded by their relationship and the time they've spent together to the point where they don't want to acknowledge these things as being red flags.

    • 1mo

      By your logic, people, who do not want to get married should not date. I disagree.

  • 1mo

    Great myTake. Judging by some of the feedback, "Anyone who's bitter about the opposite sex" would make a good addition.

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  • 1mo

    Lol... a man has to work to get cash, to get married. Lack of cash is a number one marriage killer. So if he doesn't work, he loses her. If he does work, he loses her. Either way he is fucked. Women want this ideal that doesn't exist in reality.

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    • 1mo

      Let's calm down on this whole... every woman hates every man for everything he does rhetoric because that's a load of whiny BS.

      Do you need money to live? Yes. If you as a man on your own don't work, how are you going to pay your own rent, buy your own food, pay for medical, pay for gas, etc?

      That has nothing to do with a woman, because surprise, she has to do the same on her own.

      When you marry, you share expenses. I know very few people who can actually afford to have one or the other in the marriage, not work to support each other.

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    • 1mo

      @Mrwoo99 I don't want robots. I have heaps of friends (males and female) and for sex I would just get an escort. I like humans. But yeah I know men struggle to get sex these days so I'm sure those robots will be best sellers.

    • 1mo

      Asker... well you just met one !! And no.. she does or doesn't pay her own way , doesn't matter to some of us men like your trying to instill to some guys on here. When you marry depending on any given relationship, it's up to who owns everything to start with , not some one who has substantially less.

  • 1mo

    Last one is bad others are ok u can't find a perfect person

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  • 1mo

    1. Free and equal women
    2. Free and equal women
    3. Free and equal women
    4. Free and equal women
    5. Free and equal women
    6. Free and equal women

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  • 1mo

    Great take and very sound bits of advice - If only our head ruled our heart ALL of the time

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  • 1mo

    It is not worth getting married for men.
    Been there, done that and lost everything.

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  • 1mo

    Yeah, I can understand why, very good points.

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  • 1mo

    Didn't need a mytake. Wasted read

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What Girls Said 13

  • 1mo

    Anyone who's dramatic basically. So agree.

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  • 1mo

    any people belonging to these groups are deal breakers to me

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  • 1mo

    Someone with depression doesn't expect their other half to fix them. They can manage fine.

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    • 1mo

      Nobody should be "fixing" anybody...

    • 1mo

      Correction: People willing to accept, deal, and treat their depression. Dating someone who along with their mother, another red flag from above, blames you for their depression will never ever work out. Only a very small minority are like this though, as it matters what kind of person and family the person are, not the illness. Fortunately very few are so radical, unjust, and as mean as that.

    • 1mo

      Actually I said "chronic depression" for a reason. The vast majority of people experience depressive episodes from time to time, and most manage themselves fine and there are no real damaging long lasting consequences if they work through it, which most do. Chronic depression is a lot more difficult to manage, especially if the person refuses to seek any help or medication if it comes to that. If you're on the other end of that, your inclination is to want to help and fix that person and do what you can for them like you would if your partner came home in a bad mood... you would naturally do all you could to try and make them feel better b/c you're a decent human being who cares about them. Same within a marriage. It becomes taxing on the partner in the case of chronic depression b/c all that they do to try to help seems to have no effect and they are often left feeling useless and disconnected from their partners who often can't manage their pain, feelings, stress, depression, etc.

  • 1mo

    How about a clingy ass person? I can't deal with someone telling me I have to talk to them everyday or tell me who I should hang out with because they scare for "us". No bitch you just psycho.

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  • 4d

    Good post,,

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  • 24d

    Yesh I agree
    especially "being in love with mom" part :D

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  • 1mo

    also a person who is abusive, lazy

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  • 1mo

    We where I live most guys are overly atta

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  • 1mo

    I agree with pretty much everything except for the chronic depression part. Good take!

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  • 1mo

    I'm not marrying anymore. lol

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  • 1mo

    Among other things (but we could go on forever) I think someone who is often angry or displays violent behaviour should definitely be up there with these points.

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  • 1mo

    Have to add people who hate their parents without a valid reason or for something minor that happened in the past.
    People who lack basic hygiene and are proud of it

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  • 1mo

    I think you should add this one. Iwon't married to abuser or guys who doesn't have manner.

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