Why Men Are Avoiding Marriage [And it's NOT due to Laziness]

Society sees men as lazy slobs, and that we're too lazy and stupid for marriage. That isn't the case at all. By the end of this Take, I think you'll agree that marriage is better off being replaced by cohabitation Here are the real reasons.

Gynocentric Society. The new world is becoming more and more anti-male by the day.

Courts always favors women and mothers in alimony and custody cases, and almost never the men. And if the man can't afford to pay alimony, they will literally drag him out of the courtroom and strait to prison. There is now an average 50.000 men in prison in the USA for those cases alone, and my country of Australia isn't much better. Suicide rates among men increase for this exact reason.

Women who are depressed receive all the help they could possibly need, and a man who is depressed and called an, "Emo douchebag," and booted out of the therapy lounge.

The list goes on.

"What has that got to do with marriage," I can hear you yelling.

Well that means the mans opinions, wants, needs, or even his life will mean little or nothing in a marriage. It means the man will be restricted to the filthy parts of the house: the Garage, Shed, Attic and basement.

And to top it all off, the married man of today is depicted by the media as a buffoon and bumbling moron.

Marriage ruins romantic and sex lives. It has been statistically proven that couples who cohabitate instead of marry are three times less likely to split or resort to domestic violence. And for some mysteriously spooky reason, women's sex drive plummets after marriage(not all the time, but significantly more likely)

Weddings are a complete RIPOFF. Rather than bore you, I'll let my favorite college humor guru, Adam Conover, explain this part. ENJOY!

But there's an easy solution for these problems. Tell marriage to get FUCKED, and if the woman doesn't agree to cohabitation instead, tell her the same.


9|34
44|81

Join the discussion

0/2500

Submit
Sponsored

What Girls Said 44

  • Wrong! I don't know where you got those studies about how those who cohabit ate before marriage are less likely to split. Absolutely wrong, and you have no link to prove that. Having sex outside of marriage however is linked to less sick later in marriage, and divorce including cohabitation:

    www.leaderu.com/critical/cohabitation-socio.html
    www.yahoo.com/.../...s-divorce-risk-144722762.html
    family-studies.org/.../

    For men and women today, they do not understand what a marriage is and they blindly rush into it thinking its about happiness. Its not. Like a job its an obligation. The media is going to mock marriage just like those in Hollywood. If you do right from the beginning you wouldn't have these problems. Mainly from a biblical standpoint. But do wrong, and this is what happens. Overall marriage is not for everybody. And includes men and women. You have those who are naturally and best suited, while others are not. Very few were taught about marriage, love and sex early. These are the ones who are ahead of the game. Marriage is not evil. Its how the laws are set up and how people chose to live in their marriage lives. Women needs to understand that they cannot change a man. A man has to want to change on his own. Stop belittling each other, and becoming selfish. Weddings however, are how you two decide to make it. My close friends did not have a big wedding. They married in a church, with about 200 people attended, and paid about 7K for everything while everybody else provided gifts for their wedding. Plus the have the wedding at the church was basically free because they knew the Pastor. But they paid anyway. You only pay out what you both would like and symbolize your union. Over a certain amount, and 9/10x its about the money.

    12|4
    0|0
    • Meant to say linked to less sex later in marriage.*

    • Show All
    • not about*

    • aren't being women anymore*
      go on all day*

      At the end of the day: you are wasting each other time. Now we have all this freedom, and children are now raising children. And I'm not talking about teen moms/dads. I'm talking about those who are in their 20's,30's,40's, 50's, 60's, whatEVER age you are and have the mentality of a immature child who doesn't even know what to do.

      No offense to you, but its not going to get better. It will get worse. Soon sex with babies will more and likely be legal. Or children with children. That is how bad its going to get. And marriage will no longer be defined by what it used to be, or by such purpose. It will be a commodity. Time to walk up and face reality.

      People doesn't even believe in marriage anymore. And complain like I said before about: But where did all the good men/women gone? I say, simple. You either killed them or chased them away with the worlds filthy way of thinking after you had all your 'fun'.

  • My boyfriend and I look forward to the day we get married. :) I guess just find a gal who wants the same things as you. Marriage isn't the problem, it's bad people that are.

    10|10
    0|3
    • No its the laws of marriage that are bad

    • Show All
    • I lot of youngster (20ish) these days are like that in french Canada. The generation y of Canada. They want private space, they find you needy if your trying to hang out each week. Once they are near their thirty or pass over, they get a urge to finally want a serious relationship, but it has to evolve fast. Relly fast, she or he want it now. It is a big commun thinking in french Canadian latelly. Maybe, she was a candian, high chance.

    • @EricMontreal Eric... what are you chatting you mate?

  • I definitely don't blame men for avoiding marriage. The laws aren't exactly fair to men in case of divorce.

    0|23
    0|0
    • If the divorce laws were more fair, more men would be willing to get married.

  • I am soooo sorry but this is laughable. I mean everyone keeps blaming marriage for character flaws. Its not marriage fault people cheat, it's not marriage fault that your SO is abusive, it's not marriage fault that you choose to marry a shallow snob who only cares about themselve. Honestly, it's more so you to blame. You choose to be with this person. You either decided to idealize marriage and your spouse or you decided to go to the other extreme and find someone pretty and rich. So nlaming self serving reasons on a institute that is about being more selfless than selfish is ridiculous.
    I mean people really do need a big wake-up call and rethink their priorities. I mean if the married life style is not for you that's fine but be honest about the reason. Its not marriage it's the people and their selfish wants.

    5|2
    0|3
  • Not another "boo hoo, my gender makes my life crap while the other gender has it so easy" take. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

    11|0
    0|6
  • I understand what you're trying to say but in all honesty you came off as very rude. I agree with the fact that society is becoming more antimale with feminazis (not feminists) who had bad experiences deciding to generalize like you are generalizing. The problem isn't marriage it's marrying for the wrong reasons and obviously marrying the wrong person. On another note you can sue a therapist who pulls out the "emo fag" card on you. Also guys aren't forced to be in the shed just like women aren't forced to be in the kitchen. Sex drive diminishes for a number of reasons that you cannot blame strictly on marriage. Personally i think you've had too many negative experiences or have seen them but not all women are money thristy feminazis waiting to tie you down. In fact a real marriage shouldn't restrict you in life (of course you can't do random people unless y'all believe in palygomy) but it's an opportunity to grow as a person. Who you are with should have 1/4 in common with you and willing to experience things with you. The problem you have is that you see marriage as ownership and it's never supposed to be that. Even when you're single you are free to live and be your own and the same goes for marriage: NO ONE OWNS YOU NOT EVEN IN A MARRIAGE.

    hope i was helpful, either way you're entitled to your opinion.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Marriage means something to some people. It's two people entering a bond formed by God. It's sacred. I personally would not be interested in you if you didn't want marriage at some point.
    But seriously if I wrote something like this on males having all the power I would get called a dirty feminist. Double standards smh.

    6|1
    2|8
    • Would you leave your man if you was infertile?

    • Show All
    • He's not against marriage, he's against how you have industries using weddings as another outlet to indirectly brag to your friends and family. The point is, most wedding expenses are pointless luxuries, not the bond itself.

    • nope nope nope... marriage is an institution backed by a government and the laws contained therein. if not, then marriages performed and officiated by a minister (unlicensed) would also be called a marriage and recognized by the state. additionally, cultural studies clearly indicate that marriages go beyond religious societies as more of a societal development often more in line with maintaining family power and/or treaty arrangements independent of belief.

  • I do partially agree with the first point - I think both genders should be equal rather than one being held in higher regard than the other (it's just ridiculous)!!

    The second point all depends on the couple's way of life. I for example have chosen to wait until marriage before having sexual relations, so I guess this wouldn't apply to guys and girls in a similar situation. I guess in our modern culture where it is normal to have sexual relations out of wedlock would make the idea of marriage seem pointless.

    As for the third and final point: Spot on!! I totally agree there!! My sister had a massive wedding, and I can see the stress it caused on the relationship. When I was younger, I guess I was taught by the media, to have an extravagant wedding ceremony, but when I got to my late teens, I realised that it's a waste of money! I love the idea of marriage - to show your commitment to one another, and in my religion, we marry for all time and eternity, not until death, so there isn't so much emphasis on the 'worldly' ceremony, but more on the 'eternal' one. Like a birthday, I personally would prefer to have a small, close-knit group of friends and immediate family, but for some reason, people get really offended for not being invited, even though it's not their special day!!

    Love the video ^_^

    0|0
    0|0
  • "Well that means the mans opinions, wants, needs, or even his life will mean little or nothing in a marriage." - r u talking about marrying society here? Cos, yes, society doesn't care, person sho loves u does. It' s that simple...

    6|2
    0|1
  • A lot of people who are from broken homes will agree with you,

    Marriage is a waste of time and money
    It does change people
    And there is a high risk one will cheat on the other.
    Marriage now has high divorce rate and with that a half of what each other has to be divided between them..
    Shared bank accounts ect?
    It's all a joke.. I never want to get married, I don't care for big dresses and stupid rings..
    My grandad was married twice, his first wife until she died and his second when he was 83 years old age after a long relationship..

    If anyone is going to get married the long term thing way into 80 years of age is best...

    1|0
    0|0
  • I just want to correct something. I'm a student in psychology and I've done tons of job shadowing and met patients/therapists.

    I have never heard of a case where a man was called an ""Emo douchebag," and booted out of the therapy lounge.".

    Medical professionals take these things really seriously. No therapist will EVER do that to you.

    If you feel depressed, you must not fear that a situation like the one this guy described will ever happen. You will be met with support and help if you seek it.

    2|2
    1|0
    • no they don't do that. they just tell the guy that his feelings are wrong and he needs to learn to deal with them instead of dumping the whore and finding a decent women

    • @dudeman This is absolutely untrue. BY LAW, we are forbidden from giving any advice in the form of instruction to clients. So I doubt the scenario you are describing has ever happened.

  • Eh taking my women and gender study course I realize honestly I rather be single. Women have to give up too much if she gets marry and have kids for kids and still like that today. I rather be married with no kids or just be single.

    13|2
    4|22
    • Good for you. Marriage is a garbage institution now anyways.

    • Show All
    • I never said it was false, what you get from that class is your perspective I can't change it or say it's wrong. I told the guy feminism isn't how he made it seem & I spoke of my own experiences from taking the class.

  • Ha. I do agree on this. My boyfriend and I went to Adam's Election special here in Houston too. Anyways... we already discuss how we will do things in the event that we cohabitate / get married. I get to decorate but I'll be doing so with respect to nerdism since I'm also a nerd. And when he offered to put our future wedding in my hands I told him no sir... and that we would work together to make it a day about US... not a day about ME. It's not only an important day for my life but his too and I'd hope that he'd get to remember it fondly. But we're not too hung up on it in general for anytime soon (that I know of)... we've just discussed in in random occasions. We expect to end up together... we just... have no real requirements on how or when it happens 'officially'.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm ok with never getting married. My man and I have decided to spend our lives together but agree that we don't need to get married to do it. I'm sorry but people don't fight for each other the way they use too. They give up too easily. You pay all this money to get married then pay more to get divorced. Breakups are hard enough without bringing court and Lawyers into it. What's so wrong with just making a commitment to spend your life together just between each other?

    2|1
    0|0
  • Men and women are avoiding marriage for many reasons other than commitment. One reasons why men and women are avoiding marriage is because they can't financially support anyone other than themselves at the moment. Another reason is cause it's hard to find a good woman or man these days. You want to take your time and figure someone out before rushing into marriage. Marriage is forever (or so they say) and it's not something that you should rush into.

    4|3
    0|0
  • well even tho some people may rather avoid it than face it... avoiding marriage is both a thing for men and women... the thing is... some people toss away tradition and prefer to cohabitate with their partner and this... makes them believe that they're glad living together and there's no need to get married and therefore its makes it less likely for marriage to occur...

    2|0
    0|1
  • what a bunch of bullshit
    like man if you don't like or don't want marriage why bother with it?
    focus on things you enjoy in life
    and you'all guys need to develop your emotional intelligence, it's sad

    5|0
    0|3
    • emotional intelligence is worthless, women would need to evolve your intelligence in general, however unfortunately that isn't possible.

    • Show All
    • @alphadoggystyle
      I dont agree what u said and have no intention of arguing about it further. Its not a competition as men like you want to make it.
      I think we shouldn't earn respect but be all respected for being human; for me respect can only be lost.
      Lets respect the fact that we disagree and leave it at that.

    • i dont care if you agree or not, i know what i said is based on fact. All humans in an ideal society will be equal before the law, but humans can never be all equal to each other in terms of capability, there is high variability in terms of achievment, success and skill and ability. Men surpass women in general in all these criteria, so to expect men to give the same respect to women as they give to other men is not realistic, and will never happen.
      We can leave it at that.

  • I think marriage is great if both are mature people who love each other, but I agree that we are now the privileged ones. And I think that has led to more divorces and bad situations. Society feels like they still have to protect us, so we get so much help whenever something goes wrong. I think that leads to many BUT NOT ALL women to rushing into things without thinking about because they know there are so few consequences if they screw up.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I LOVE ADAM RUINES EVERYTHING!!!

    2|2
    0|0
  • this is why i hate feminism. it ruins everything good. Modern feminism anyway

    0|7
    0|0
  • More from Girls
    24

What Guys Said 81

  • I am an attorney and I handle divorce cases as a part of my general practice. I cannot speak about the situation in Australia because I don't know the country, I don't know the law there.

    In my jurisdiction (Florida, USA) men and women are treated relatively equally. Women get custody of children more often because the fathers are not interested in raising children as often as are the women. I am not trying to be a white knight or score points with the ladies; this is just the way it is.

    Custody and visitation orders usually give one parent 40-45% of the overnights with the kids and the other parent gets 55-60%. 50/50 is rarely a good idea because it interrupts continuity inn parents supervising kids' school progress.

    Society is as female dominated as men allow it to be. Nonetheless, I really don't give a rat's ass about what society thinks about the role of men, etc. All I care about is how my girlfriend treats me. I practice the Golden Rule and I treat her the way that I want to be treated. Of course it doesn't always pay off but I only need one woman who also practices the Golden Rule and I'm set.

    You can go through life being cynical and hostile towards half of the inhabitants on this planet but that won't result in many warm moments for you.

    7|5
    0|2
    • The Australian Family Law Act and Family Court give lip service to treating men and women equally, but the decisions of the court on property, custody and child support tell the true story.

    • Show All
    • Oh forgot to add what if one partner cheats, in this case I am specifically asking in regards to wife cheating. How does law view child care, child custody, alimony, her getting half of guys crap or any other issues.

    • @Oram52 Divorce laws vary from state to state in the US and even more in foreign countries. In what state/country do you reside?

  • Be very careful with cohabitation. 'forced marriage for men' is being implemented quietly and globally. Look up 'de facto relationships', 'committed intimate relationships' and the 'cohabitation rights bill' for examples. In New Jersey and other states, 'palimony' has been around for a long time. In other states, 'common law' means you're legally married after X number of years of cohabitation. In many cases - feminist judges are simply awarding women payouts in civil suits against X boyfriends following termination of cohabitation - increasingly ignoring all legal precedents.

    Marriage is simply a way to force wealth and power from men to women in the event of divorce. Men are tricked into this scam with constant social conditioning and the promise of regular sex and loyalty. Through this scam - trillions have been transferred from men to women in the past few short decades alone. Tens upon tens of thousands of men commit suicide each and every year. Do not become the next sucker. Hundreds of thousands of men wake up to this truth too late to save themselves - each and every year.

    Take it from someone who's been through it all himself and witnessed countless men's live destroyed by vindictive, hate filled women - DO NOT GET MARRIED! If cohabiting - KNOW THE LAWS! The life you save WILL BE your own.

    0|11
    1|0
  • People don't take marriage seriously.
    I'm glad divorces are legal, but many people get married with the idea that if it doesn't work, they can just simply get a divorce, especially women who will benefit from it.
    If marriages were valued like they should be, we wouldn't have these problems.

    6|14
    0|0
    • Nope. Most people are superficial/materialistic these days and get into relationship for the wrong reason.

    • Good point, that's why the wife usually splits once there's some financial hardship. Too many people don't really know how they're marrying.

  • The issue is that many women today are like jihadis. They will hold their vaginas hostage until you give in to their demands... and if you refuse, they'll nuke the whole relationship. It's like Al Qaida on estrogen. Through social media, they've become Sexting terrorists who instead of manipulating the oil price, they manipulate the price of vagina shares. I nearly lost a leg in combat with one of them

    0|11
    2|1
    • Allahu Akbarina

    • Show All
    • @RustlingJimmies Well, that's fuckin stupid... lol. Why would I be fucking him in the first place, if he wasn't already what I wanted?

    • @redeyemindtricks Because sometime women settle and with most couple you can't get 100% exactly what you want from your partner. In addition the needs you want initially will change as you get older.

  • Simple; Whether or not you believe it, see it, or want to hear it, men are under absolute siege in American, along with the rest of most first-world nations. In sitcoms, movies, commercials, and ESPECIALLY in the news media, men are continually being shown as stupid, lazy, and incapable of making even the simplest of decisions. Think about it; Every sitcom on air right now, as well as over the past decade plus, the husbands are either portrayed as idiots, moochers, cheaters, wife-beaters, or fat/useless/lazy slobs that get into all manner of trouble, with the wife character having to bail the family out, and thereby saving the day by the end of the thirty-minute episode. I mean, c'mon, just look at ever commercial, where the 'man' fucks up the laundry, or makes a mess of the kitchen in his failed and inept attempt at cooking dinner while the wife comes home late from her very important and stressful office job. Now, whether or not you are intellectually honest enough to admit this is blasted in our faces every day, the fact is, we are fucking tired of it... So, how does this relate to the question posed? Well, we (men) can't be men anymore. Me personally, I can't conduct myself with the discipline I naturally have as a former US Marine, lest I be 'intimidating' to a woman; too forceful, too 'alpha', blah blah blah. I can't be proud of my wife or girlfriend, lest I be 'demeaning' her 'feminine independence.' I can't try to provide for her, want to make her life comfortable, or admit that the only time I feel fear is when I think of her in harm's way, or else I would be 'stifling her 'extremely capable self-reliance.' Furthermore, I can't be sensitive, either, because then I would be patronizing, as well as forcing my way in on a woman's fundamental claim on her nurturing proclivities. So, in essence, men are doggedly forbid and/or shamed into not being men. And, at the risk of casting a stereotype (which I don't give a shit about), men (like women) don't want to have to pretend to be someone they're not. The quintessential American Male, (Meat-loving, Football-watching, Flag-waving) wants nothing more than to provide for his wife, so she can fulfill her biological need of having/raising/teaching/caring for her child (ren). Clinton wants your vote, we get it, but the 'Anti-Men' bullshit has gotten WAY out of hand. We are tired of holding our breath. Enough already. Stop trying to change us, and just let us be. Just let us protect you. Just let us love you.

    0|3
    1|0
  • The sad truth is that there is not much in marriage for men. They receive very little benefit over living with someone and risk a lot if it doesn't work out. A wife can divorce you anytime she wants without cause, take your children and half, or more, of your things.

    I understand that marriage is sweet idea, but the reality is often very different and most of the burden is put on the man.

    I like the idea of marriage. I would love to be married for the rest of my life, to spend my life with the one person who will stand beside me through anything. But marriage does not promise that. Marriage is only as strong and the will of BOTH parties and either can destroy it in an instant.

    Do I believe in love and committing you life to another person? Yes! Without question or hesitation, Yes! But in our current society, that is not what marriage offers.

    0|4
    0|0
  • "Society sees men as lazy slobs..."

    Okay, so far I'm with you...

    "... and that we're too lazy and stupid for marriage."

    You lost me. What? Too lazy and stupid for marriage? Of the few black and hispanic friends that I have, and not to sound racist (because I don't mean this in a negative way at all, it's just a different perspective on male-female relations and definitions of masculinity), men who "ARE" lazy and stupid get married.

    It's sort of like a wild animal and a domesticated animal.

    A "husband" is like a domesticated animal. "In theory," he has sex waiting for him when he gets back home. Now, we all know this isn't always the case. But through time, he loses touch with the critical skills necessary for flirting with and seducing women (in general; not just his wife). The wife opens up some canned food, puts it out for him in his bowl, he eats it, he's stuffed, and goes about his life wondering around the house aimlessly. That sounds like a stupid and lazy animal to me. So, I can understand the black and Latino male mentality where being "sexually faithful" to "just one girl" is actually a negative thing among fellow male peers.

    Have you ever seen what happens to a "domesticated" animal once it's released into the wild again? Better yet, have you ever seen a big game cat "come here," or wolf "sit" and "roll over" and be a "good boy"? The short answer is, "No." These animals hunt. They're not looking for hand-outs. They're not looking to please the hand that feeds them. They're looking to pursue what's out there, while conserving their hunting resources (time, money, energy, self-respect and dignity).

    Men who are "successful" at being in the wild usually choose to stay in the wild. Men who are either too "stupid" or "lazy" to be successful in the wild choose the "easy way out," which mostly involves pandering to the female script. The "excuse" they use to justify or rationalize getting married is leaning on the female script and echoing, "She's the one, once I found her, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my.. blah blah blah."

    It's called "settling down" for a reason. Nobody gets married to "settle up." It take your foot off the gas and agree to "settle down." You hit the gym less often, you spend less time on romance and sex and more time at work, because you're ready to have kids. That's the nature of "marriage." Otherwise, if you're not ready for that yet, then you keep hunting.

    1|1
    0|0
  • it's all about money

    1|11
    0|1
  • Cohabitation is ACCELERATING these evils! It'd be better to abolish these evils, in order to save marriage, rather than to abolish marriage to accommodate an additional evil in order to accommodate these evils.

    - Courts need to use objective criteria, and not be intimidated by shrill feminists who go too far.

    - Our media is in bed with a Globalist conspiracy that needs to make traditional family a thing of the past in order to make itself relevant. This has been their mindset since Lenin. Faith in marriage for the right reasons creates a resistance. That's why they feel such a strong need to portray married men as idiots. A strong family man is one of the few things that can threaten their establishment!

    - Moreover, romantic and sexual lives improve DRAMATICALLY - if spouses are chosen for the right reasons. If you marry someone based on nothing more than being "hot" or a fleeting feeling - or because you hooked up and feel guilty, then you married for the wrong reasons.

    Instead of pretending like marriage was not ordained to our benefit; we should heed Proverbs 21:9 before even thinking of getting in the sack with someone - for any reason!

    1|0
    1|0
    • As for wedding ceremonies: I would prefer if I met my future bride, to have a small affair in the simplest of get-togethers. I'd want the marriage to be the focus, not the wedding ceremony. I agree that the industry has gotten over-the-top and greedy. Which is another reason many don't understand the point of marriage anymore: wedding magazines focus purely on the ceremony, and purely on materialism.

      Materialism is what needs to be told to get f*ked, if anything. Moths destroy clothes, mold spoils food. Steadfast faith yields what is everlasting. If not that as the foundation, no marriage can last that is worth anything.

  • The only type of man that avoids marriage today , are those who can't compete with the other men who are on top of thier game. The bottom line here is ; guys who don't par up to those other men who make marriage work , will always reference marriage as a negative demonic idea not worth commiting to and strike it as stupid only becuase they seem themselfs unworthy of it. Women on the other hand are more interested in men on top of thier game. You may try all aspects of challenging my opinion , but it remains the trueth regardless.

    6|2
    0|13
    • Nah I don't agree, and it's definitely not an absolution. Marriage, like anything on this planet, works for others and not for others. Marraige has been the escape route for many men who can't compete with the other guys. Nothing like a good guy who couldn't get women to get some nice girl (who has experienced so much more than him and can settle) and settle with her. It's tragic in my eyes and men shouldn't even touch marraige before 30.

    • Show All
    • Again, you wrong. Nowhere in this thread did I say anything surrounding defeatism on my part. Let me say it another way... I am all for somebody getting married and their happiness. But for what makes ME happy, marraige is not it. Well unless it's with a woman who is polyamorous or a swinger. It's out of choice for me. The safety net thing that I describe is something I see with men and women in marriage in general.

      Ambition... man, I'm the most ambitious person on the planet at the moment.

    • @Scrambledagain Listen , I don't have any problems, or problems concerning any women. I'm NOT wrong in what I speak. This is just not your agenda towards women. This is my opinion concerning realitys that I've been in the life that I've lived well beyond your life so far. You may disagree and I really don't mind that you do for yourself, but don't bring your own set of rules to the table acting like this is carved in stone when certainly it's not. What you're explaining to me is an agenda of your own and you wish to make others follow your distictful way. If you don't like marriage... arguing we me will get you know where. And I will never say otherwise about how good marriage can still be for those who can handle it. If you can not handle being married and women of today at the same time... you then definitely you do not have the game or the right amount of ambition or your inability to continue with such a institution is then not up to par with those who can , and will.

  • Hi OP,

    I saw this MyTake and thought I'd add my 2c.

    I'm going to apologize up front, I'm not trying to be intentionally antagonistic or troll you, your perspective, or anyone else's views but I'm probably going to disagree with you here and for some pretty rough reasons which will require you to ask a few new questions of yourself if you want to really understand what I mean and what kind of perspective I'm coming from.

    I live in South Africa, born and raised in Johannesburg and I'm in my mid 30's, I was born while apartheid was still going on and have watched the fortunes and circumstances of 50 million people adjust to new rules and systems.

    What you say about society becoming more and more anti-male with each day that passes smacks of exactly the same interpretation as a lot of white people had when the apartheid government was replaced by the ANC. I'm sorry to have to be the one to say it but it boils down to sour grapes, bitterness, resentment and jealousy. You're still thinking in the perspective of what is WAS like. You're comparing women's equalisation of fundamental human rights to not being looked upon as the king of his castle.

    You can't fix a fundamentally unbalanced system without anything changing. Men can't expect to "give" women equality and then not expect them to fight for the best that they deserve. Ultimately, yes, it means men realistically have to put in more effort and more quality effort at that these days than men of the previous century, but as a direct consequence of this our daughters no longer have to simply look forward to whatever comes along, they can make their own choices and get what they deserve.

    When the global social system reaches parity the bias will be evened out and only from that generation onwards will be know a gender neutral society, until then people are going to keep going for what they believe they deserve, men and women alike.

    Courts of law work on one basic, universal principle: Precedent, and historically men are their own downfall with respect to the current precedent, it's simply far more likely that a child will be better cared for by a mother than by a father, that's not an opinion, it's a statistical certainty.
    Any "man" not paying alimony, child support, maintenance, whatever is not a man and should sit in prison and consider his priorities.

    I honestly don't see the depression reference as being anywhere near accurate.

    Continued on next comment...

    1|0
    0|0
    • Continued from previous comment...

      With regards to the men being relegated to the "filthy" parts of the house: This has, for as long as I can remember, always been the man's preference and his own choice, more often than not Accommodated by the wife than insisted upon in any conceivable way. Men treat it as "holding on to their machismo" or having a place for themselves where the woman won't interfere and the kids won't play.

      In our modern society where sex sells and the main aim of the game is to make money it seems obvious to me that the media would do everything and anything in their power to create a bit of a stir, that is, after all how they make money themselves, regardless of the subject matter or current socio-economic value of the modern man, don't sweat it, they're taking a dig at men to get a reaction, once the reaction becomes obvious the market will react in kind, and where do you reckon they'll advertise their solution... The very same media.

    • As for the whole sex life after marriage topic:

      You've got to be realistic about it and think about the whole situation objectively.

      The sex life starts slowing down as a result of so many factors that really only keep on piling up: Have enough sex and sooner or later you're bound to end up getting pregnant, having a child and starting a family is a lot of stress and can be very expensive and it all comes along at what seems like the very same time all at once which can lead to more stress. With the added financial expectation comes desire for improvement which could mean working longer hours or an additional job, which means more stress, less energy and less sex. And it's not just the men or just the women that are under stress it's more often than not both!

      There's never a one size fits all solution to life, it's just the way it is.

      When Darwin said survival of the fittest he meant it in terms of adaptability. Those that can best adapt to the changes survive.

  • It's not just men but women to.

    That's why I don't waste my time with women who have modern ideals, I prefer more old fashioned ones.

    4|4
    0|0
  • BS. Am married and am happy. Nothing expensive, didn't spend much money. You need to understand it's all about communication, if you are in a relationship that is gonna lead to mirrage and you don'r want to get married then you are in a wrong relationship. None of this is true! I do have my sex and romance after 8 years, it's even getting better. If you don't want to get married, THEN JUST DON'T.
    To those who think it just cost a lot, make it cost a little. WELL SHE WANT THAT DRESS; SHE WANT THAT RING; HE WANT THIS SUIT AND THIS BAND well you have a lot of talking to do, not blame other things.

    4|1
    0|0
    • Well said! I agree. I have been with my husband for 13 years, married to him for 9 years; our wedding didn't cost much and things just keep getting better and better the longer we are together <333 but marriage isn't for everyone and if you don't believe in it or are afraid of getting screwed your probably better off your probably better off just not getting married just let the other person know if that is the case in the very beginning rather then waste either of your time in the long run if that what they are hoping for.

    • Show All
    • @flypaper Will see, not sure, 2-3 maybe. Have no idea. What ever we get blessed with.

    • Haha very nice, well I wish you guys luck! Kids are the absolute best!

  • The concept of "marriage" is and has always been more advantageous to women then to men.

    Men are biologically designed to plant their seeds and then move on to the next woman. Women are biologically designed to bear children and nurture them until they are developed enough to survive on their own. For this reason, women always have been and -- until there are robots that can replace them -- always will be the primary caretakers for the children. They are physiologically designed for child rearing while men are designed to hunt, kill and bring home the meat.

    The reason men are less amenable to marriage is because it isn't natural for them. Millennia of evolution made them solitary hunters. But for women, it's always been a benefit to have a man around as a protector and provider for her and her offspring. Women benefit from the long term relationship, at least long enough to raise the kids to an age that they could potentially survive on their own. Maybe that's why the average marriage lasts about 12 or 13 years... just long enough to raise the kids to that point. That's why women are much more about the "commitment" (sometimes known as marriage) then men.

    1|1
    1|0
  • If people didn't have sex before marriage, they would be thrilled to get married.
    It's not about sex either, just knowing you have a girl by your side, that you made a commitment to stick together through anything, and you can build a family a new set of potentially amazing people is what make me interested.
    On the other hand, that excitement you get meeting new people, the freedom to do whatever you want, to only have responcibilitys for yourself, and more spare time is nice. But thats stuff you have to get out of the way while your growing up.

    3|1
    0|2
    • You can have all that with cohabitation. Marriage is a legal shackle, it doesn't make relationships better, just puts more pressure on them and makes them revolve more around money and legal responsibilities.

  • We live in an anti -male society... I agree with... but what you said about it/reasoning didn't match/make sense. There are double standards when it comes to women/men and it's in favor of women. There is so much pro-women/ medial coverage to help/inspire girls and NOTHING for boys.

    Marriage does ruin the sex life... I have too many male friends complaining about that. Women are like car salesmen... they give you all the attention and kiss your ass... but once you by the car they don't care at all. One buddy use to come with his girlfriend to the strip club and she'd give the dancers money... after they got married she changed completely... would stalk him at his job, nag him about everything and everyone he hung around with.

    Wedding are a waste... The only good thing is that the Girls parents are suppose to pay for it. Girls are always put on a pedestal... and get so much special treatment they expect it and don't even appreciate when you hold the door for them, help they with something heavy, etc.

    They get sweet 16s... boys get nothing
    communion.. they normally get bigger parties
    every girl in my family got their first car... boys had to buy their own
    bridal shower/weddings.. its all about the girl
    baby shower... all about the girl... guy has no say... but is expected to pay for everything.

    0|2
    1|0
    • 2 words..."prenuptial agreement" it's man's best friend.

    • Courts have been throwing out prenuptial agreements with a disturbing frequency.
      Such agreements have been shown to be worthless.
      There may be other legal devices in various jurisdictions.
      I learned that here in Australia there was a way to prevent a woman getting her claws into a man's property and future income. I did not learn this from a divorce lawyer. Instead, I learned it as a property investor.
      Here we have a legal entity called a trust. Trusts can have any number of beneficiaries (from 1 on up). Trusts have an administrator, who can also be the one and only nominated beneficiary.
      If assets are transferred to a trust, the man no long owns them, but can derive the full benefit as the sole nominated beneficiary.
      The man can also offer himself for employment as a contractor, though the trust, so it is the trust that is paid. The trust then, in turn, pays the man as much (or as little) as he (the administrator deems).
      The assets and income are untouchable. :-)

  • Marriage has 0 benefits and only unnecessary high risks for men.

    Why even bother?

    0|9
    0|1
  • Marriage is a meaningless institution. The only benefit to marriage is that a widower's custody of his children cannot be challenged successfully unless he can be proven to be an unfit father. If you just have a signed and notarized contract, or a will, someone else in her family can take your kids from you.

    Otherwise, marriage is meaningless.

    I love my wife, but if she dies or leaves me, I'll never marry again. I'd mourn for a decent period then move on, but I'd never never never marry again.

    0|0
    0|0
  • This sounds a little biased. But if you really believe that men are treated like crap compared to women, then I think you're believing a little too much on information that isn't very accurate. Yes, there are a lot cases that men have to pay alimony, child support, and subpoenas in divorces. But that's really the ONLY valid argument that I can agree with. Both women AND MEN are supported when dealing with depression and hardships in life. I can't force you to understand that if you don't. But really make some observations when you're discussing about personal problems that individuals deal with

    4|0
    0|1
  • Women are avoiding marriage too. They just want to fuck crazy hot guys throughout their teens and 20's and then when they hit their 30's and their looks start to fall apart, BOOM! They change their mind, they're ready for marriage now, to some poor beta male they would have spit on in the past, but his money's green so they marry him, and then they cheat on him after a few years. But that's only like 90% of women, so don't get too discouraged guys! You just gotta find a unicorn, that's all!

    1|2
    0|1
  • More from Guys
    61
Loading...