Why Men Are Avoiding Marriage [And it's NOT due to Laziness]

Society sees men as lazy slobs, and that we're too lazy and stupid for marriage. That isn't the case at all. By the end of this Take, I think you'll agree that marriage is better off being replaced by cohabitation Here are the real reasons.

Gynocentric Society. The new world is becoming more and more anti-male by the day.

Courts always favors women and mothers in alimony and custody cases, and almost never the men. And if the man can't afford to pay alimony, they will literally drag him out of the courtroom and strait to prison. There is now an average 50.000 men in prison in the USA for those cases alone, and my country of Australia isn't much better. Suicide rates among men increase for this exact reason.

Women who are depressed receive all the help they could possibly need, and a man who is depressed and called an, "Emo douchebag," and booted out of the therapy lounge.

The list goes on.

"What has that got to do with marriage," I can hear you yelling.

Well that means the mans opinions, wants, needs, or even his life will mean little or nothing in a marriage. It means the man will be restricted to the filthy parts of the house: the Garage, Shed, Attic and basement.

And to top it all off, the married man of today is depicted by the media as a buffoon and bumbling moron.

Marriage ruins romantic and sex lives. It has been statistically proven that couples who cohabitate instead of marry are three times less likely to split or resort to domestic violence. And for some mysteriously spooky reason, women's sex drive plummets after marriage(not all the time, but significantly more likely)

Weddings are a complete RIPOFF. Rather than bore you, I'll let my favorite college humor guru, Adam Conover, explain this part. ENJOY!

But there's an easy solution for these problems. Tell marriage to get FUCKED, and if the woman doesn't agree to cohabitation instead, tell her the same.


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What Girls Said 44

  • 1mo

    well even tho some people may rather avoid it than face it... avoiding marriage is both a thing for men and women... the thing is... some people toss away tradition and prefer to cohabitate with their partner and this... makes them believe that they're glad living together and there's no need to get married and therefore its makes it less likely for marriage to occur...

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    • 1mo

      But marriage isn't a necessity. Food is a necessity, water is a necessity, heck even shelter is a necessity.

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    • 1mo

      Or some of us, you know, have jobs and don't want to deal with women and their drama

    • 1mo

      @E-Nigma what makes you think that when it comes to women its all about drama?
      smh

  • 1mo

    Eh taking my women and gender study course I realize honestly I rather be single. Women have to give up too much if she gets marry and have kids for kids and still like that today. I rather be married with no kids or just be single.

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    • 1mo

      Good for you. Marriage is a garbage institution now anyways.

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    • 16d

      @Kountry_King saying what goes down in my classroom when you don't know what's going on is false.

    • 15d

      I never said it was false, what you get from that class is your perspective I can't change it or say it's wrong. I told the guy feminism isn't how he made it seem & I spoke of my own experiences from taking the class.

  • 1mo

    it's really all about your state of mind. i never get bored of the boy i love no matter what our title is.

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  • 4d

    nice*

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  • 14d

    I do partially agree with the first point - I think both genders should be equal rather than one being held in higher regard than the other (it's just ridiculous)!!

    The second point all depends on the couple's way of life. I for example have chosen to wait until marriage before having sexual relations, so I guess this wouldn't apply to guys and girls in a similar situation. I guess in our modern culture where it is normal to have sexual relations out of wedlock would make the idea of marriage seem pointless.

    As for the third and final point: Spot on!! I totally agree there!! My sister had a massive wedding, and I can see the stress it caused on the relationship. When I was younger, I guess I was taught by the media, to have an extravagant wedding ceremony, but when I got to my late teens, I realised that it's a waste of money! I love the idea of marriage - to show your commitment to one another, and in my religion, we marry for all time and eternity, not until death, so there isn't so much emphasis on the 'worldly' ceremony, but more on the 'eternal' one. Like a birthday, I personally would prefer to have a small, close-knit group of friends and immediate family, but for some reason, people get really offended for not being invited, even though it's not their special day!!

    Love the video ^_^

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  • 17d

    I agree with this article. My boyfriend and I plan to never marry unless there's some really good reason to (probably not). I don't look down on people who do, and like attending weddings and wishing well for new husbands and wives, but I'd never want to do it. If we ever hate each other enough to leave, I'd rather the door be easy to exit, and for there to be no negative feelings between me or him over "stealing" half our stuff if we're unhappy and want to divorce. I don't want him or I to be "tied" to each other by law, but only by love.

    I can understand the financial reasons for getting married, though. I wouldn't do it for those, though.

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  • 18d

    I'll tell you why. They get plenty of milk without buying the cow. Basically, girls/women have changed their view on sex before marriage, and as a result, guys get plenty of sex from the girl they love, instead of having to wait for marriage to get it.

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  • 20d

    The men I have come across in my life time, don't want to marry or they just want to be my friend or friends with benefits. If they do want a relationship they are afraid to meet family members and make my life easier, so I can at least go somewhere. Now a days people are weird so my family just wants to make sure they are not going to hurt me or kill me, sense I live with them. I also have said to myself that, maybe marriage is great but we watch or see so much stuff that says we need to get married and have children but some people don't have that in reality or they get divorced, then they are alone again.

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  • 24d

    I've been married for almost nine years to my best friend and the love of my life. In eight days we'll have been in a relationship for 13 years. We have three kids together and we are still very much in love. We got married because I got knocked up with our first kid though we'd talked about it a few times. The only thing that changed when we said 'I do' is that we both wear a wedding ring now. I've never even changed my last name to his and have no desire to. When you love and are completely devoted to someone, marriage doesn't seem like such a big deal. It's just a piece of paper, really.
    Kids are a pain in the ass though lol. But you love them and the good times make it all worth it. I wouldn't change a thing about my wonderful family. Sure, it's not easy by any means; the headaches, the stress, being broke 24/7... it's just a part of life and I think I've got a good one.

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  • 25d

    Ha. I do agree on this. My boyfriend and I went to Adam's Election special here in Houston too. Anyways... we already discuss how we will do things in the event that we cohabitate / get married. I get to decorate but I'll be doing so with respect to nerdism since I'm also a nerd. And when he offered to put our future wedding in my hands I told him no sir... and that we would work together to make it a day about US... not a day about ME. It's not only an important day for my life but his too and I'd hope that he'd get to remember it fondly. But we're not too hung up on it in general for anytime soon (that I know of)... we've just discussed in in random occasions. We expect to end up together... we just... have no real requirements on how or when it happens 'officially'.

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  • 1mo

    I totally get why you wouldn't want to get married. Like has anyone seen bridzillas. Also I've seen people get divorced a lot.

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  • 1mo

    this is why i hate feminism. it ruins everything good. Modern feminism anyway

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  • 1mo

    I don't find marriage a necessity but for some odd reason I think of marriage as a way to ensure more stability for families. I wouldn't get married if I didn't plan on having children but I do so I would like to get married as tradition. I get that divorce rates are high so not much point in getting married if it will 50% end in divorce but divorce is a tough process and I think it would encourage both parties more to fix things than just leaving. Probably not the case but it's just my mindset which may take a while to change.

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  • 1mo

    I understand your point of view. And I completely agree! However, I believe that there are many women who feel the same way: that society is against them.
    I don't personally, but some might.

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  • 1mo

    Marriage only "ruins" love and sex life when the love waa fake to begin with

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    • 1mo

      Was* problem is everyone is so full of themselves and have unrealistic expectations so they blame marriage for their lack of care... marriage is sacred and for people who know how to commit

    • 1mo

      I was trying to figure out what you were saying, thank you for the correction.

    • 1mo

      I agree with you like when someone marriage fails it's not the whole idea of marriage fault, when it was you and our partner fault for it not working out. But divorce is not bad either , I even hear the excuse "I won't get marry because of a chance of divorce" but what the hell life happens if you two were meant to not work out then that was suppose to happen.

  • 1mo

    I think marriage is great if both are mature people who love each other, but I agree that we are now the privileged ones. And I think that has led to more divorces and bad situations. Society feels like they still have to protect us, so we get so much help whenever something goes wrong. I think that leads to many BUT NOT ALL women to rushing into things without thinking about because they know there are so few consequences if they screw up.

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  • 1mo

    I understand what you're trying to say but in all honesty you came off as very rude. I agree with the fact that society is becoming more antimale with feminazis (not feminists) who had bad experiences deciding to generalize like you are generalizing. The problem isn't marriage it's marrying for the wrong reasons and obviously marrying the wrong person. On another note you can sue a therapist who pulls out the "emo fag" card on you. Also guys aren't forced to be in the shed just like women aren't forced to be in the kitchen. Sex drive diminishes for a number of reasons that you cannot blame strictly on marriage. Personally i think you've had too many negative experiences or have seen them but not all women are money thristy feminazis waiting to tie you down. In fact a real marriage shouldn't restrict you in life (of course you can't do random people unless y'all believe in palygomy) but it's an opportunity to grow as a person. Who you are with should have 1/4 in common with you and willing to experience things with you. The problem you have is that you see marriage as ownership and it's never supposed to be that. Even when you're single you are free to live and be your own and the same goes for marriage: NO ONE OWNS YOU NOT EVEN IN A MARRIAGE.

    hope i was helpful, either way you're entitled to your opinion.

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  • 1mo

    A lot of people who are from broken homes will agree with you,

    Marriage is a waste of time and money
    It does change people
    And there is a high risk one will cheat on the other.
    Marriage now has high divorce rate and with that a half of what each other has to be divided between them..
    Shared bank accounts ect?
    It's all a joke.. I never want to get married, I don't care for big dresses and stupid rings..
    My grandad was married twice, his first wife until she died and his second when he was 83 years old age after a long relationship..

    If anyone is going to get married the long term thing way into 80 years of age is best...

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  • 1mo

    Cohabitation is pretty much the same thing, just easier to walk away from. Where did you get your stats from on better chances of staying together? In fact stats reported from Wikipedia say the opposite. You have double the chance of splitting if you never marry your live-in partner.

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    • 28d

      You see that is the point people today want the easy way out. They want to be able to leave with no ties. That's not true commitment. Feminism has ruined things in my opinion. I'm all for equality and a 50%/50% relationship but two bulls will always fight. I feel a man should always take the lead while his woman stands at his side.

  • 1mo

    In the end it's all about mentality. But if you still feel the same then don't get married. Nothing to make a big issue out of dude

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What Guys Said 79

  • 1mo

    I want to get married, I'll never have kids but I want to get married.
    Though we'll just elope and use money saved on a kick ass honeymoon

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  • 1mo

    I am an attorney and I handle divorce cases as a part of my general practice. I cannot speak about the situation in Australia because I don't know the country, I don't know the law there.

    In my jurisdiction (Florida, USA) men and women are treated relatively equally. Women get custody of children more often because the fathers are not interested in raising children as often as are the women. I am not trying to be a white knight or score points with the ladies; this is just the way it is.

    Custody and visitation orders usually give one parent 40-45% of the overnights with the kids and the other parent gets 55-60%. 50/50 is rarely a good idea because it interrupts continuity inn parents supervising kids' school progress.

    Society is as female dominated as men allow it to be. Nonetheless, I really don't give a rat's ass about what society thinks about the role of men, etc. All I care about is how my girlfriend treats me. I practice the Golden Rule and I treat her the way that I want to be treated. Of course it doesn't always pay off but I only need one woman who also practices the Golden Rule and I'm set.

    You can go through life being cynical and hostile towards half of the inhabitants on this planet but that won't result in many warm moments for you.

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    • 1mo

      The Australian Family Law Act and Family Court give lip service to treating men and women equally, but the decisions of the court on property, custody and child support tell the true story.

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    • 1mo

      Oh forgot to add what if one partner cheats, in this case I am specifically asking in regards to wife cheating. How does law view child care, child custody, alimony, her getting half of guys crap or any other issues.

    • 1mo

      @Oram52 Divorce laws vary from state to state in the US and even more in foreign countries. In what state/country do you reside?

  • 1mo

    It's not just men but women to.

    That's why I don't waste my time with women who have modern ideals, I prefer more old fashioned ones.

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  • 1mo

    People don't take marriage seriously.
    I'm glad divorces are legal, but many people get married with the idea that if it doesn't work, they can just simply get a divorce, especially women who will benefit from it.
    If marriages were valued like they should be, we wouldn't have these problems.

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    • 1mo

      Nope. Most people are superficial/materialistic these days and get into relationship for the wrong reason.

    • 27d

      Good point, that's why the wife usually splits once there's some financial hardship. Too many people don't really know how they're marrying.

  • 8d

    You know, you should go for a cheaper wedding, but that may not exist. So, I will say the following some, please don't be offended. I will pray to God that me and my future bride will get through our union without a lot of expenses and make it work,
    If take the time to get to know each other and not place labels on one another.

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  • 11d

    "Marriage ruins romantic and sex lives. "

    Uh, no. There's no such thing as "experience" in a world where each individual has a completely different set of tastes. When you're with a different person every night, you have to start over from scratch. but when its the *same* person, you begin to learn exactly what gets them going, and they learn what gets you going.

    "It has been statistically proven that couples who cohabitate instead of marry are three times less likely to split or resort to domestic violence."

    I'd heard the opposite.

    Oh, and all that colleghumor video means is that you don't need to go the expensive formal route.

    the reason divorce rates are so high is because people rush into marriage too soon and do it in the first place for the wrong reasons.

    to top it all off, humans are a naturally monogamous species. look it up.

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  • 18d

    Yeah I kind of agree I want to be married but what's the point I don't know the future. My girl can leave whenever she feels like straight divorce me because she just doesn't feel anything anymore and refuses to work it out. I'll lose the love of my life , kid (s) if I have em and I'll have to look for a new home to live. If I make more money they're alimony like it was said up there. Then if I want a new wife we're paying for a new home and our bills and I still have to pay my ex wife maybe child support too. While paying bills , taking care of current kid (s) it's too stressful especially if my new wife gets sick of it all then you have to deal with it all over again what kind of life is that?

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  • 23d

    I'd like to point out that nowadays people rush into marriage way faster. Few years ago a friend of mine went through a break up and within a week was back with and married to her ex, and 2 months later separated and engaged again to another guy. Marriage itself isn't the issue its people not thinking things through, sort of like how people in this day and age also have kids together before even bothering to get to know the other person.

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  • 27d

    This is very simple. Men avoide it because men know too many times marriages fail and by deliberate design it's men that lose when it comes to failed marriages. What man in his right mind would want that to even take a chance is playing roulette.

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  • 27d

    What a strange subject I bet for a lot of men hard left anti male feminists and a onesided legal system favouring women will put many off! I myself have never been married or ever had the chance to get married. I am 49 now and have never had sex or a girlfriend therefore I have no interest in marriage anymore!

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  • 28d

    Yep, pretty much.

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  • 1mo

    I've heard that men are avoiding marriage because women aren't offering enough to entice men into long term commitment
    (1) you have sex without marriage,
    (2) women expect to be treated like queens, even though they behave like sloughy peasants,
    (3) by the time men get mature enough to marry, many of these women have already had a child or two.
    -- Ultimately, why would good men with options choose to marry some of these women? It would be dumb to. -- of course, some women are very worthy.

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  • 1mo

    Man, this coming from an Australian is not comforting.

    If it's that bad there, imagine what we're going through in the states, haha.

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  • 1mo

    Marriage was a way for religions to gain power. By controling the gate to sex, a primal need, the Catholic church and others were able to become extremely powerful. It was also created at a time when it was virtually impossible to "have it all" unless you were an aristocrat. Even then it wasn't like now. Marriage works toward a forced codependance where the man and women sacrifice autonomy in order to gain things from the other. It's a social contract just like the basic one we sign by living in a society. We give up the fight to murder people in cold blood in exchange for gaining piece of mind that we ourselves won't be murdered in cold blood. It allows us to work for things long term and gain without fear of attack.

    For marriage the log term gains are a family which was traditionally the only gateway to any kind of happy or fulfilling lifestyle. With woman's liberation however they no longer feel that they need men, which is in some ways a step forward, since that codependance I spoke of earlier is a negative thing. Unfortunately it was the backbone of mariage. Sinc e women no longer felt they needed men, they stoped living up to their side of the bargain and acting traditionally womanly. Again I don't particularly think it's good or bad at a base... But it does have effects.

    Men however largely don't notice the concessions they make and made to women. We aren't programmed to tally our losses. We are programmed to forget them quickly and move on to the next challenge. Men who keep good track of their possess are usually risk averse and not generally high status.

    In the end. For men of value, there is no reason to bind themselves in this way unless they want to. This is the exact thinking that was first put into women through feminism. And that is not an accusation either but a fact, "for women of value there is no reason for you to bind yourself in this way unless you want to". Its not even really a negative thing but if you view the institution of marriage as a positive thing than... It has negative consequences.

    We have become so individualist that codependance of any type is nearly a sin. And it IS bad societally. But evolutionarily... Its totally viable and in fact the set up of marriage, the roles, are defined by our natural strengths and weaknesses. Nature is totally fine with symbiotic relationships. We seem not to be. We necessarily will not appreciate marriage.

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  • 1mo

    TRUTH!!

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  • 1mo

    i dont wanna get married, yet.
    what does it mean? who cares about it you know?
    women make a bigger deal out of it and for what. lol

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  • 1mo

    Hi OP,

    I saw this MyTake and thought I'd add my 2c.

    I'm going to apologize up front, I'm not trying to be intentionally antagonistic or troll you, your perspective, or anyone else's views but I'm probably going to disagree with you here and for some pretty rough reasons which will require you to ask a few new questions of yourself if you want to really understand what I mean and what kind of perspective I'm coming from.

    I live in South Africa, born and raised in Johannesburg and I'm in my mid 30's, I was born while apartheid was still going on and have watched the fortunes and circumstances of 50 million people adjust to new rules and systems.

    What you say about society becoming more and more anti-male with each day that passes smacks of exactly the same interpretation as a lot of white people had when the apartheid government was replaced by the ANC. I'm sorry to have to be the one to say it but it boils down to sour grapes, bitterness, resentment and jealousy. You're still thinking in the perspective of what is WAS like. You're comparing women's equalisation of fundamental human rights to not being looked upon as the king of his castle.

    You can't fix a fundamentally unbalanced system without anything changing. Men can't expect to "give" women equality and then not expect them to fight for the best that they deserve. Ultimately, yes, it means men realistically have to put in more effort and more quality effort at that these days than men of the previous century, but as a direct consequence of this our daughters no longer have to simply look forward to whatever comes along, they can make their own choices and get what they deserve.

    When the global social system reaches parity the bias will be evened out and only from that generation onwards will be know a gender neutral society, until then people are going to keep going for what they believe they deserve, men and women alike.

    Courts of law work on one basic, universal principle: Precedent, and historically men are their own downfall with respect to the current precedent, it's simply far more likely that a child will be better cared for by a mother than by a father, that's not an opinion, it's a statistical certainty.
    Any "man" not paying alimony, child support, maintenance, whatever is not a man and should sit in prison and consider his priorities.

    I honestly don't see the depression reference as being anywhere near accurate.

    Continued on next comment...

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    • 1mo

      Continued from previous comment...

      With regards to the men being relegated to the "filthy" parts of the house: This has, for as long as I can remember, always been the man's preference and his own choice, more often than not Accommodated by the wife than insisted upon in any conceivable way. Men treat it as "holding on to their machismo" or having a place for themselves where the woman won't interfere and the kids won't play.

      In our modern society where sex sells and the main aim of the game is to make money it seems obvious to me that the media would do everything and anything in their power to create a bit of a stir, that is, after all how they make money themselves, regardless of the subject matter or current socio-economic value of the modern man, don't sweat it, they're taking a dig at men to get a reaction, once the reaction becomes obvious the market will react in kind, and where do you reckon they'll advertise their solution... The very same media.

    • 1mo

      As for the whole sex life after marriage topic:

      You've got to be realistic about it and think about the whole situation objectively.

      The sex life starts slowing down as a result of so many factors that really only keep on piling up: Have enough sex and sooner or later you're bound to end up getting pregnant, having a child and starting a family is a lot of stress and can be very expensive and it all comes along at what seems like the very same time all at once which can lead to more stress. With the added financial expectation comes desire for improvement which could mean working longer hours or an additional job, which means more stress, less energy and less sex. And it's not just the men or just the women that are under stress it's more often than not both!

      There's never a one size fits all solution to life, it's just the way it is.

      When Darwin said survival of the fittest he meant it in terms of adaptability. Those that can best adapt to the changes survive.

  • 1mo

    Do you wanna get something off your chest?

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  • 1mo

    It is less of a factor these days than it had been but I'm not as overly against it as you.
    And I prefer the garage, shed, basement or attic to the living room anyway. Lol.

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  • 1mo

    BUZZZZZZZZZT wrong answer, thanks for playing here you get to go home with a home game: why i should be a MGTOW.
    in fact people aren't getting married because most look at it as just a piece of paper. or are spend too much time on plugged into the internet beleiving everything they read.
    or just having fun with no real attachment in their no strings attached sex. without really relating to the other at all and wonder why they are unforfilled and why no one takes them seriously. if you can't commit to a pet you have no business trying to commit to another human being.

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