Why so lost?

Okay, so I consider myself to be fairly attractive and intelligent,( I keep hearing this from friends) but after a breakup of a 5 year relationship I feel like I am really lost in this game. I go to my friends parties but it seems like I am just sitting on the couch drinking the night away. Once in a while I will talk to some girls but it seems though in the middle of every conversation I can tell that they are not really interested and it is pretty awkward for me. I wasn't born here, have an accent and it seems that I just don't have something they are looking for? Any ideas?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe you don't show enough interest in them, that's why they are trying to run away in the middle of the conversation? I know I will happily stick around someone if he fully engages with what I'm saying, even if I don't fancy them at first. Or maybe some girls feel insecure around you? Just a thought. I don't think your accent would have anything to do with it. If anything that probably makes you more intriguing.

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    • This is interesting cause sometimes I feel like I am not exactly what those girls are looking for, most of them come to these parties to hook up for one night or just have silly fun. When I ask them deeper questions I lose em. Maybe I am really boring :))

    • Hmm, wrong kind of parties then? But then why do you approach the girls who are looking for silly fun in the first place? Do the more serious girls seem too boring for ya? ;)

What Girls Said 1

  • Well drinking the night away isn't going to help you out. That is not the answer. You are meeting these girls in the wrong environment. You need to meet them in a better place. Going out and doing things constructive like taking a class or playing sports is a good way to meet different girls. I don't think your accent plays a role in not going out with them.

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    • I hear you but I do also fear that I am going to be the only one in that class with the active intention of meeting someone whereas people are there to learn things or foster their own hobby.

What Guys Said 3

  • You just answered your own question---you sit on the couch drinking the night away. How the hell do you think that makes you look to the girls walking buy? Like a charming prince? Hell no. Most likely they walk by and see another pathetic loser drinking the night away. I have no ideas what philosophies you follow in life, but in your case, best to stop the drinking and try to fake it til you make it. By that I mean that instead of going to these parties, go out, and try to talk to women, or at least, participate in group conversations and see what's been said. Bottom line, you need to change your attitude. Is not easy, but many ways out there to get back in the game. By the way, you need to start living in the present. Plenty of material out there, specially with the net, to help you get you going.

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    • :) You know, my intention is not to just sit there and drink the night away but as I get signals of no interest I find myself no longer able to entertain others or myself. I feel this tremendous pressure to find somebody and I don't understand why.

  • Oh boy, do I know how you feel (that is not a question, it's a statement). You might just feel weird re-entering a world you left 5 years ago. -OR- you are subconsciously looking for girls that was like your previous one. What you have to do is figure out that you have to your past relationship go. To quote The Matrix, "You have to let it all go. Fear, doubt, and disbelief. Free your mind! " But what do I know, I'm Just A Random Guy.

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    • Good matrix quote. Takes a wise man to fully understand that one! ;)

    • Thanks man, I think it is easier said than done but I am going think about this. Or maybe I should just stop thinking about this :))

  • No idea.

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