Should people who can't forgive get married?

I for example could not tolerate any cheating because it just makes me sick, people told me that i should learn to be forgiving but i can't. Not in case of adultery. I mean why go into counseling if you can find someone else. I would forgive a fling but nothing long term, i am very cold unfortunately. Also if one partner doesn't keep his vows why should the other?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think that people should learn to forgive, married or not. The problemm is that American society is very "holier than thou", very judgmental.
    I've been cheated on.The first time I was really hurt, dumped her, she asked me to forgive, we restarted. The second time I got over it, but I lost illusions. The third time I considered it was over between us but I stayed since she needed help and she wasn't a bad girl. The fourth time I let her go, without anger. Between 1st and last time a huge indifference had built up. I still don't hate her.

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    • We need more Americans.

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    • Although that source is from Wikipedia, US have a higher divorce rate than any other country. This means that either Americans are less forgiving and tolerating or more people in the US cheat. People from America are generally seen as more uptight
      than people from Europe and Asia or anywhere else.

      P*rnography is more associated with the law and politics, not morals and ethics. It also doesn't affect people's private lives. The cheating stats for Europe are similar to US but many more divorces happen in the US, this is because i believe Americans have better morals, as more think that cheating is unacceptable. But then again i am not saying they are perfect either.

      But in terms of infidelity and Laws, USA fares better.

      Europe is better is more accepting, this can be both good and bad.

    • 1. Wikipedia is a good source when it isn't about a 'hot' subject. Errors are corrected quite fast.
      2. There's a reason behind each divorce.
      3. "P*rnography is more associated with the law and politics, not morals and ethics." In American minds it seems very much associated with morals and ethics. Just read GaG posts.
      4. IMHO Americans don't cheat less (or more) than Europeans.

What Guys Said 5

  • I would not stay in a relationship where I'd have to tolerate cheating, an addiction or abuse. These nobody should have to forgive.

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  • Forgiveness must be practiced like lifting weights to lift great weight or rubbing cold hands to get hot. It could come from unforgiveness can come from accute depravity in some cases. Any way I think that such a person is not ready for a long and enduring marriage because marriages are never or very seldom happy all the time and even then they would be cut short by tragity, in other words maybe you aren't ready

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  • In case of adultry, you have absolutely no reason to be forgiving. However, in other matters of general everyday disagreements, at least one of the 2 has to be cool headed.

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  • Ok, cheating is unforgivable but many forgive, so that alone would not make you unmarriable. But forgiveness is a key part of marriage as it moves on you have to chose to forgive and chose to love. It is a treacherous life journey !

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    • There are too many people out there, no one should be taken for granted.

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    • Then you will be ok lol xx

    • Ok xxxx lol.

  • Well first if your partner cheats that's grounds for divorce and has nothing to do with reciprocating the vows.

    Second you shouldn't get married.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Everyone has their dealbreakers, and adultery is a pretty common and understandable dealbreaker. I'd even be hesitant to say "I'd forgive a fling." Why? Because marriage is really hard, and if you give that green light early on, the other may be more likely to slip. I also think it's a breaking of trust that is near impossible to recover from. It's basically the defining factor between a relationship and being single.

    As a rule, I think forgiveness is important in any relationship, but after a certain point (and a certain act committed), you need to consider if it's worth it.

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  • I see nothing wrong with your thinking about cheating, I couldn't forgive my husband if he ever did that to me. You'll have fights and you'll have to be forgiving in that, but in cheating or abuse or something that you shouldn't be! I know I wouldn't!

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