Lets start if off like this.. I am 23 and he is 30. I've been seeing this guy for about 3 weeks now. Things have been moving pretty quick. We decided to tie the knot and start claiming each other as boyfriend/girlfriend. We even shared the "L" word. Crazy... I know. Yesterday he had told me, he sees me as "the one". He sees the future with me. Which I thought every guy would say when they love a girl.. But he took it to another level where he said lets get married. I didn't take it too serious until he said he wants to do it ASAP. He knows its crazy but he wants it. he's tired of meeting girls, fucking around, he's tired of all that, he wants to settle. He had he's fun. I told him I wanted things to be more formal. Instead of asking me in a car after we met 3 weeks ago. I wanted to be formally introduce to he's family and my family and get engaged and than have a big wedding. But he insisted saying he wants the city hall thing and years later than have a wedding. We talked more into the city hall thing, and he said he would bring a co worker as a witness. A co-worker? Like really? not even a bestfriend? Then he said he didn't want the family to know because they would def say no. He just wants me and thats it. I dont know how to feel about this. Why? Where is he coming from? Is he totally insane? or Maybe he just really wants to tie the knot. He said he was never sure of anything and he feels it with me. How do you know when she is the one? I do understand at the age of 30 you do know when you want something and when you dont. When something is right or wrong. you're more sure of things. Crazy me thinking.. is he just trying to trap me? I know he loves me a lot. But should I be fooled? HELP
Most Helpful Girl
My uncle did this, but it wasn't 3 weeks it was 3 months of being together. Trust me he said all the same things your man is saying 'not meeting the family, just wanted to do it as soon as possible, got married privately with out friends and family'
2 years down the line they are on the rocks because the families don't know each other. They are having general issues and have no support system to rely on for help. They are realizing things which make them significantly different that they didn't see in the beginning and appeared small.
It takes years to truly get to know someone, marriage is a big deal and it comes with A LOT of responsibility. His excuses are rash, and not well thought out, and they aren't actually even good reasons. If you were so special, and he knew that from now he'd wait for you. You have to think, what kind of man rushes into marriage like this? It's not the same as girlfriend and boyfriend. It's more than a fiance.
Tell him to wait, tell him since he's been waiting so long if you're meant for each other he can wait a little longer.
I would not advice marrying so quickly, generally it doesn't work.0