What happens when you fall out of love in a marriage?

what should be done? isn't it a Self explanatory question?

  • stick it out regardless of lack of love
    16% (13)24% (12)19% (25)Vote
  • be real and tell your partner
    78% (63)64% (32)73% (95)Vote
  • bottle it up and portray happiness
    6% (5)12% (6)8% (11)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Its a question my married friend asked and I have been stomped. Obviously there was love there which resulted in a marriage and after 10 years their love diminished.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • This is a difficult question... It's a balance between the life-long committment that marriage is, vs the ideal that everyone only lives once and has the right to be in love. I suppose it comes down to the values that one is taught. I would say talking about it is the best thing honestly. I would tell my wife how I feel, and say that I'm committed to the marriage as I vowed and leave it up to her to decide if she's willing to be in a relationship with a man that isn't in love with her.

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What Guys Said 10

  • It's the moment to look back at all the reasons that pushed you towards your partner and to remember the excellent moments together.

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  • If you can't figure out why and do something to improve the situation, you may as well resign yourself to repeating the same mistakes over again for the rest of your life.

    It goes like this:The majority of people who are unhappy in their marriage and get divorced are still unhappy 5 years after the divorce.Women generally have less money.Men often don't, but it costs the men too.Very few are happier, even if they're richer.
    The majority of people (about 2/3) who stay and try to improve their "unhappy" marriage ARE happy 5 years later.

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  • You are approaching this the wrong way. You can't "fall in love" just like you can't "fall out" of love. Love is a choice, you choose to love someone. Most people confuse Lust for Love--they lust after a person but as soon as something happens in a relationship (typically financial) they "fall out of love" and leave.

    If you have a sibling you "love them" despite their atrocious actions and manners and you don't "stop" loving them if they piss you off you choose to--same with relationships.

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  • Men and women will show it differently. And those who voted "B", I bet 90% of them were never married. Come on... lets have a vote to prove or disprove that!!

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    • You are right ash, I voted B and I have never been married. But I have been in a long term relationship for 3 years. And I can say honestly say when you start hiding stuff from your partner it stops being a real relationship and starts being a fantasy (in the bad sense).

    • Thanks for being honest Zadkey. My point was that there is a world of a difference between the 2 scenarios when the spark starts to fade. It is not just a matter of honesty.

  • Be real and tell the truth , speak what's on your mind

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  • Depends on your age and reasoning.

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  • Why get married in the first place?

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  • Oh ya!! be like... totally honest!! ya!! yaaaaaa!!

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  • You gotta suck it up if u dont want any problems lol

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  • Its so simple, just don't get married

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What Girls Said 12

  • I say A - but with talking about it, trying to work it out, not just bury yourself in a lie. be realistic, try to rekindle the love if possible. When all else fails, maybe it's time to part ways.

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  • I'm not married so this is out of my knowledge or expertise but I keep hearing that in all relationships, there should be communication. If something is wrong, tell your partner. Don't ever bottle anything up because you'll be unhappy, miserable, and soon be very tired of acting happy (plus, you're also leading your partner on). If you don't love your partner, don't act like you do. It makes your side of the relationship fake. It should be real and wonderful, it should be filled with communication, and most of all you should both understand each other. (Sorry, this is pretty long.)

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  • Stick it out because in a marriage you could be bored with your partner and have to face real life issues that will challenge the relationship and the love you feel, so you cannot base marriage on emotions because they flatuate. Stay and try to work things out and don't give up too easy.

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  • be real and tell your partner

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  • i dont think i ever want to think about that :/ i would just pray a lot that everything gets better

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  • Find a way to fall in love with each other again.

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  • Communication is key, and if the love subsides it's time to nurture the relationship more and open up those lines of communication.

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  • There should be honesty, even though it may be tough because, it should be done.

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  • I said B but that doesn't mean that I'd break off the relationship. I would try to get through them

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  • Clearly it was never love to begin with

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  • I did a and b for 15 years. A bad move! It's best to separate.
    No one benefits from it.

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    • That would make you anywhere from 10-14 when you got married...

    • @ IloveLouis keen observation!

  • Along the way things will happen to make marriage difficult. But a marriage only lasts when the couple have the ability to communicate effectively. Before you even thing of getting married ask yorself if your partner and you can truly talk and not just speak. That't the foundation of a great relationship. But if you see that talking gets you nowhere then maybe you should consider trying new things out, consulting a specialist and if all else fails maybe taking a break can work out. It is important though, if there are kids in the picture, for the parents to be able to hold a polite conversation.

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