Is my wife being unreasonable about our finances and the prospect for real estate?

Recently, I've inherited a massive trust fund from a relative of mine. The fund is large enough that I could stop working tomorrow if I desired. I was born and raised in a typical middle America family as did my wife. We currently rent an apartment in a decent area in town. For the entirety of our marriage, this was all we could afford. Now, we have the possibility to radically change our lifestyle and sustain it.

Ever since I've inherited the money, my wife has been nagging me more and more about moving out of our apartment and buying a new house. I told her that I do not want to buy a house. Where we live, a house is a shitty investment. Real estate in our area has been on a steady decline since 2008 and is not expected to bounce back for a long time. In essence, we will never see a return on our investment. I've bombarded her with facts, figures, projections and even a consultation with a banker but it seems like it won't suffice. I told her that if space or quality was an issue, we could rent a better and bigger apartment or even a house. This answer was not to her satisfaction. Since I've inherited the trust, I've taken her to Europe, bought her a new car and a better wardrobe. I got us the latest and greatest in electronics from tablets to phones. I have also decked out our apartment with better appliances and better furnishings. We are living better than we've ever lived but she is still on my ass about this house. Am I being unreasonable with her?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Tell her if she wants a house, to earn the money herself and to buy it on her own. She can't tell you what to do with your money. You've spoiled her enough.

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    • Thanks! I am glad to know that I am not the one at fault in this situation.

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    • Yeah cases like that don't surprise me. Inheritance is always a tricky business. Are you a lawyer? I am currently in law school.

    • Nah I just served jury duty before on a rape case.

What Girls Said 4

  • how much are you paying in mortgage, a ball park?

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    • were the trips and other things you bought for her, her idea or yours?

    • We are not paying a mortgage, we are renting the apartment. Everything I've bought has been my idea. I bought the trip because we've always dreamed about seeing Europe. I bought the car for her because having two cars would allow us to go where we want when we want versus a one car household where you have to compromise. I got the electronics/appliances/furnishings to improve our quality of life.

    • that's what i meant, rent not mortgage

  • Renting is just throwing money away. I myself want a house, I need the room and to be able to what I please...if that means I want another large dog and wanna paint my living room purple I can do it! Luckily for me my husband agrees with me on this.

    Maybe a better solution would be to relocated or something. But truthfully in this housing market you are better off buying a nice house, because when the market comes back your house will we worth more then. People aren't able to sell their homes for what they are worth right now so they are either living in them or selling them for less. This housing market sucks for the people who are trying to sell.

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  • When you're renting you are throwing money out the window. You're never getting that back. But with a house even though the market is bad, it's still your house. And I bet mortgage and rent would come to roughly the same amount monthly

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  • Tell her to stop spending your money. If you have a prenup then I would get a divorce.

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    • A prenup is unnecessary from a legal point of view. The trust is gifted to me and me only. Which means that she is not entitled to a single dime in that trust. However, we both still love each other very much and, on the whole, she hasn't been using me for my money a lot. She has never once asked for anything outside of this house. Everything I have bought has been my initiative.

What Guys Said 3

  • You both are correct. Give yourself 4-6 months to find another job in a different city and purchase a house. Renting is never going to help you and you are correct in not purchasing in a dying market. Understand that now at this moment there are bidding wars in some markets.

    Good luck,

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  • couple ways to look at it first she is like a lot of other women now that you have more money she wants more that's kinda wrong

    a house is a step up form a apartment it gives more privacy for a growing family.

    far as buying a house your young probably not going to find better prices then are in the market now and even better if you pay cash but that doesn't mean you have to you can take a mortgage just to have tax right off

    you said your area is bad buy in a nice area!

    A real estate / house is a LONG term investment (rental property or owner occupy) they are forecasting it will take about 7 years for real estate market to recover form obama , I don't think the market will drop much more unless you shop around so your value will hold roughly about the same without equality for a few years but you are also paying those monthly payments for property you own vs paying rental for someone else property

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    • In most areas in this country, the real estate has currently hit the trough or is in the recovery stages which are high time for buyers. However, my area is still firmly in decline with no traditional indicators of a bounce back. The major employers in my area have either moved, closed down or have been reduced in size. The only major company in my area is the one I currently work for but they aren't looking to expand. In fact, they may be moving jobs away. The employment issue in my community has adversely affected the value of the real estate. Furthermore, I never said my area was nice. I said it was decent. By decent I means that the area is safe, somewhat clean and filled with generally law-abiding citizens.

      Additionally, though prices in 20 years may go up, it is still a bad move for my investment portfolio. I can make more money investing in other assets that can yield better returns and are safer than real estate in my area.

  • 1. I hope you have a prenup. Seriously.
    2. Yes she is totally out of her mind. Why did you marry this person?

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    • 1) A prenup is unnecessary in this case. The trust is gifted to me and me only. Which means that she is not entitled to a single dime in that trust. Our shared possessions are peanuts compared to the principle contained in the trust and the dividends it pays. I already consulted a lawyer and an accountant on this just to make sure I am fully aware of the implications of being the beneficiary of the trust.
      2) She is a wonderful wife outside of this whole house thing. I couldn't imagine life without her. She is caring, kind and considerate. She respects that this trust is mine and I make all the decisions about the spending of the money.

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    • The trust is completely 100% safe. Don't get me wrong, I am not against buying a house. I am against buying a house now. I don't want to spend my money needlessly on a worthless investment. If things look like they are going to pick up in the local real estate market then I would gladly buy some property. For now, the status quo is the best financial move.

    • You could also trade up to a new wife :)

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