In this case do you think it is cheating for a married man?

A middle aged man who loves his wife and kids and makes happy life for them also in a relationship with a girl who is very younger than him.
So if this man always cares about his family and they are his first priority and the other is not more important than his wife.
Do you think he is cheating? And if he is cheating do he deserve it as a reward for taking care of her family?

Updates:
I asked this because many married men this days doing that and they think they aren't do anything wrong.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If his wife knows and is cool with it, it isn't cheating.
    If she doesn't know, then it is. Also he's not making his family his first priority. He's making himself his first priority.
    If his wife was to find out she'd be heartbroken. She might divorce him, his children may go through a horrible custody battle, who knows. Or she knows and doesn't say anything for the kids sake, instead she grows to resent him and feels not only humiliated but insecure because he prefers a younger woman. The children know what's up and lose total respect for him.
    Because cheating isn't looking after anyone, that isn't caring about them. If he sees his family as a chore, if caring for them is an activity he needs to be rewarded for, then he clearly doesn't care for them at all. He simply uses his alleged "caregiver" status to justify his affair to himself, because deep down he knows he's a bad person.

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    • I'd just like to mention though, that it is his life. He can live it however he wants:) It's no-one but his families business anyway.
      I just wouldn't expect other people to respect those life choices or the person making them.

    • Yes we shouldn't judge other people by our standards.

What Girls Said 17

  • Yes he's most definitely cheating. No, he doesn't "deserve it as a reward". Who do some men feel the need to be rewarded for taking care of their family, as if it's some kind of major accomplishment that needs a lot of attention? The wife takes care of the family too, you know.

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    • Yes even I think women care more about family but in culture husband is the leader of family and he is the one who makes decisions.

  • Yes its cheating lol at least in america the bride isn't asked "do you take this man and his harem?"

    Why not have an open marriage so everyone can enjoy the goods? These men you speak of are in denial if they think their wives don't want some young spry dick on the side too.

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    • What is the open marriage?

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    • I didn't say its not wrong for men wrong is wrong but women should know their place.

    • Yeah, her place should be in another mans bed, if her husband is bullriding younger women.

  • What! Of course that's cheating! He is not doing his wife any favour by taking care of her. He is doing it because he loves her and respects her. But by being in a relationship simultaneously with someone else...that's not respect and that's not love.

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  • If all three parties agree to be in this type of relationship then it isn't cheating.

    Cheating is doing something behind your partners back , and you know it is something they would not be okay with it.

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  • Yes it is cheating. It doesn't matter how 'good' he is to his family. He is sleeping with a woman on the side. When he married her, he promised she would be the one and only for the rest of his life.

    But I don't think he cares about his family or that they are his priority. He wouldn't be cheating if he cared.

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    • Some men are thinking by taking care about their family then they deserve to have lover.

  • Yes it is cheating.

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  • Does his wife know about and is okay with it? Then it's okay.

    Is he doing it behind her back? Then it is betrayal and therefore cheating by definition.

    Isn't this answer obvious? What man would ever even doubt it and be honest to himself? The ones that do it are very well aware that they are betraying there wives. They may try to fool themselves by trying to justify it in their minds. And a lot of them might be so selfish and deluded they will actually believe their own lies.

    It's very pathetic, if you ask me.

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    • And I forgot to say in many cases his wife knows but pretends that she doesn't know!!

    • In that case they're both delusional.

    • It should read "their wives" in my answer by the way.

  • If the wife doesn't know then of course it's cheating. So tell this hypothetical person to either cut it out or let the wife go, so she can find someone she actually deserves instead of some ass. People only get one life and this hypothetical gentleman who I'm assuming isn't you (jk it's probably you) is wasting hers on someone who doesn't know how to thrive in a marriage. What a shame.

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  • Yes it's cheating, and when did a morally decent spouse become something that needs a reward? Pretty low standards...

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  • This is cheating and is incredibly twisted thinking. So long as a man provides for his family he can have other girls as a reward? No. If you choose to have a family, you also choose the responsibility of providing for them. It is not some noble achievement that you get a reward for. So, you either choose a family or you play the field, you can't have both.

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    • Some people want to having both because they need family to show to society that they are a family man and also want to dating outside of marriage for their own fun.

    • A "family man" does not just provide the material things his family needs, he also provides emotional security. He is faithful and respectful to his wife.

  • Cheating is cheating, no matter the reasoning you are using

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  • It's cheating. You need to look outside your home and marriage, get a divorce.

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  • Of course this is cheating!!! Love doesn't hurt and love does not betray!! His idea of love is somewhat skewed! THis is disgusting!

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  • Yes ! Its cheating if the wife doesn't know, he's a player lol

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  • Yes it is cheating unless the wife knows and don't care and this person needs to think about the affect it will have on there children it isn't fair to anyone involved even if the wife knows

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  • Of course it's cheating.

    If the wife takes care of the kids and home, always pampers her hubby and stays fit and attractive... Isn't it still cheating if she beds down with the lawn boy?

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    • Agree both are cheating. But its very different when husband cheats than when wife cheats.

    • The woman doesn't think so!

    • Because of that religions made some hard rules for women.

  • You are the definition of an asshole, well done. Now go and worship Allah.

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    • Its not my opinion I just ask because I see many of these cases this days.
      And don't judge people by their religion.

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    • Turkey is located in Europe also rate of wife beating is very high in US and EU.

    • Yes, but most countries in Europe are not Islamic or don't follow the culture. France is located in Europe and they don't follow muslim culture.

      So what? cheating is worse.

What Guys Said 9

  • Maybe depends on the culture of where you're at, but at least where I'm from, that's textbook cheating. Its a black-and-white issue, you're either only with your wife or you're not. Providing a good quality of life and being an otherwise good family man doesn't buy you extra privileges.

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  • If his wife is not aware of it then yes it's technically cheating :)

    If the girl doesn't know he's married then again he's cheating her too :)

    Well as long as the wife doesn't know about it he assumes it's ok - well that's perception what can anyone say about that :)

    If the wife knows and the girl knows then it's not cheating :D

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  • Most western folks (except maybe the French and Italians) would say that he is cheating.

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  • No. Lol. You're a scumbag bro. Sorry

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  • If the wife doesn't know, it's cheating.

    If the wife knows and she doesn't approve...it's cheating.

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  • The only person who determines what cheating is, is the wife. Run his potential affair by her and see what she says.

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  • I definitely think it's cheating. Haha that was a little dumb question tbh where do you see this happen?

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    • Its very common at least in Turkey there are many middle aged married men with young girls.

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    • I heard something else about your ex-national football captain John Terry also about many celebrities from Hollywood.

    • Yes, many people have affairs, but the woman doesn't pretend to NOT KNOW, they usually end up in divorce.

  • its cheating but why don't he prefer polygamy...

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  • Yes, it is cheating.

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