I'm going to spend the night at another mans house and I'm married, is it wrong?

My husband is so annoying and useless. We have got a 6 month old baby boy together and I'm 17 weeks pregnant with the second one. I only married him for our baby's sake. It bothers me that he's white and I'm biracial ( black, white) and I can't trust or like white men based on experience and he's a typical white man.

I'm 22 and I'm soon finishing college and I work part time some weekends and my baby is in daycare. My husband is 24 and he's working but not making enough money. I get so tired of him it's as if everything is a joke to him. Even if he's annoying he at least tries to be a good father

I have met this man through work he's 31 and he's so mature and handsome, he's divorced and has got a child. We usually go out for coffee and even if he's white he's a good white guy. I feel attracted to him and we kissed once. He invited to me to spend the night at his place so that we can get to know each other better. He said I can sleep in the guest room. He lives quite far away that's why I'm staying over and I want to get to know him since he's a new friend. My husband doesn't know about him and but I haven't lied I told him that I'm spending the night at a friends house. And I'll leave my baby with him. Is this wrong?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It is so wrong what you are doing. What do you consider to be a typical white guy? You have not told your husband the whole truth about the so called friend. Who knows what might happen between you and this other guy when you are at his place. You already have kissed him. Is there any other reason why you are staying at the other guys place besides that he lives quite far away? Does the other guy know you are married? What if your husband finds out about this guy and then wants a divorce? You will have put this guy in the middle. You have to also think about the kids well the one who is 6 months old and the one you are pregnant with. This could end in a big mess. Think about what you do before you do it.

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What Guys Said 14

  • no it's great that your breaking your marriage vows and sleeping with another man

    look the circumstances of the marriage are unfortunate I suppose but you made a commitment. no one forced you to get married and if things are really that bad divorce him. but if you are married you should do the right thing and not cheat on your husband

    yes it is wrong to have sex with a man who isn't your husband

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  • well in the confines of marriage yeah its wrong. but you do what you want you know? damn 22 is so young for married with children. people from my high school did the same shit lol.

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  • I'm glad I'm in neither of those guy's shoes right now.

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  • I understand, your marriage is a farce and you are probably depressed and very sad, a chance of something better for you and your children has arisen. The question isn't whether its right or wrong its really about this new guy. There are other ways to get to know him, maybe you could go on some dates to see if he really likes you and actually wants to take you on or if he is just after sex. Otherwise you will just be cheating on your husband for sex.

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  • Wow wtf, you're justifying cheating on your spouse and sleeping at another guys house (that you like no less) because you and your spouse have some issues?

    I'm not even gonna bother with the other stuff you said...

    Get a damn divorce if its that bad... jeeezz

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  • You r doing wrong. If u don't like your husband, tell him truth and leave him. No need for both of u to suffer.
    But I think the new guy is a smart guy who wants to get into your pants by showing sympathy to u.
    Btw, don't say white guys r bad and u don't trust them, while u chose a white guy as your husband and is leaving him in dark for another white guy.. U contradict yourself in saying that. Should I say black girls are bad based on the wrong thing u r about to do?

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  • Yes that's very wrong, even if it's just a friend your not sleeping with, which you probably will. Your husband has every right to know that the friend your sleeping over at happens to be a guy.

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  • so ur a racist?

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    • Um no I wouldn't have married my husband if I was sweetie:-)

    • u dont trust white men, and you dont like them. thats called racism

    • u are also, technically, cheating. so you're now a cheating racist

  • It's only wrong if: he doesn't know AND if he doesn't want you to

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    • by the way what bad experiences have u had with "white men" that has u sk scorned?

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    • They always end up flirting with white women in front of me and then compare me to them

    • Sorry your experience with these guys has been so bad! :(

  • Yes and it really won't solve a thing! take a couple a days to think things over before creating a situation that can't be undone!

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  • Is this real life? I hope to all that is holy that you are trolling right now. Please tell me you'e trolling.. Of course its wrong!! This is why the divorce rate is so damn high in our country these days. Marrying because of reasons other than love. Why the hell did you have a baby with him if you don't like white men based on experience? I really don't understand people these days.

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  • No matter how bad or useless he is, that's a shitty and shady thing to do. So yes, your wrong

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  • You're obviously going to sleep with the other guy. And yes it's completely wrong.

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  • Your lying by omission. If you're not telling him information that could change his opinion about the situation your lying. Lying isn't about what's being said it's about how the other person responds and if he were to find out about this later he'd consider you a liar and you know that so quit trying to make it out that your doing this and it's not lying. It's lying and you know it. Now moving on it doesn't matter if your lying to him or not. You're a human being and you can make your own choices just remember actions have consequences. Do whatever you want but staying together for the kids sake is going to do nothing but make you feel trapped and resentful towards him which is obviously already occurring or at least that's how it sounds from what you wrote. Contempt is the number one leading factor in divorce. Take a minute to think if your okay with hurting him then fine go do it if your not then don't but it's best not to decide to do while your angry at him if you are angry because you're probably not thinking straight. Remember you'd be hurting all of him not just the parts you don't like. But be an adult make your own choice and be prepared to live with the consequences that's all we can do

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What Girls Said 16

  • You can't trust him yet YOU'RE the one who's planning on going behind his back to "spend the night" with another guy? You're such a hypocrite.

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  • ...Sigh... Yes, it is wrong.
    If you are not in love with him and know that you deserve better, it is best to leave him and go find better. Never do it while still with the person.

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  • Yes, it's wrong. If you're not happy, get a divorce. Betrayal isn't the answer.

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  • All of it just sounds incredibly shady and sneaky, even tho you probably don't mean it that way. Honestly it looks like things will go much further between you and this guy (your "friend") and you need to sort things out between you and your husband before everything else.You're a married woman with a child and in all honesty you need to handle your situation responsibly- no matter how annoying you think your husband is, the bad your going down right now is called "cheating." You have already kissed this guy once? You're attracted to him too. Look honestly if you care the least about your relationship you will realize that you need to quit the sly and sneaky behavior.Right now I feel really bad for your husband :(

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    • The path you're going down right now**

    • Over everything else, he may be annoying but that does not justify your actions. You may find him annoying but at least he's not a cheater. And cheating is the exact path your going down right now. I sincerely hope you will understand tht you are doing something wrong.

  • Yes, this is very wrong...it is cheating! I suppose everyone defines cheating in their own way..but you kissed him...that's already cheating physically...and also emotionally cheating...you have the intention to get to know him more and not just for work or school or something like that. I feel like boundaries have already been crossed but staying at this guys house is taking it to a whole new level. You both have some attraction to each other so more than likely other things could take place. Even if your husband isn't the one for you...to be fair to him you should get a divorce asap. It's not always best for the children for the mother and father to be together. my parents didn't get along and fought so much...when I was younger I always wished they would just divorce.

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  • Yes its wrong you are fucking pregnant. Also if you don't like him divorce him or get separated first it's common decency

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  • You've cheated on your husband already clearly you have no self control so I vote don't go. Oh and in my opinion you should tell your husband you cheated and I hope he leaves you. I don't care how "annoying" he is, I have no sympathy for cheaters.

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  • I've used that line before. When you get tired of someone, you do what you have to.

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  • I don't think us telling you what you already know is going to sway your decision. Right or wrong, I have a feeling you are going to go through with it. With that said, why stay married? Move on, be happy and let your husband find someone who he is compatible with. Nobody should stay married for the sake of their children - it only cause a dysfunctional household.

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  • Yes, it's very wrong.

    Why are you having another baby with him?

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    • I'm not even sure..

    • I think it's really important that you make completely sure you want a kid with someone before you do it..

    • I'm with you on that, 05Jueey.

  • If you dislike your husband so much don't stay with him. My parents stayed together for the "sake of the kids" and that led to nothing but a nasty divorce and emotional trauma for my brothers and I. It also altered our views of relationships and real love. You sound miserable with him. And yea it's wrong to spend the night at another man's house when you're married

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  • I think you should sort out your relationship with your husband first. It will be easier and clearer for everyone I think, especially the babies. It just sounds like a confusing situation for your kids if it continues

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  • Pretty wrong. If the tables were turned you would feel humiliated and hurt. If you are unhappy with your husband you don't seek out other men, you go to him. Not to offend you, but it seems like you are seeking refuge and not trying to deal with your reality. You already have two kids by this man, I would stay home and try to work things out. The grass isn't always greener on the other side my friend.

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  • that's kinda grey zone

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  • Nothing is wrong with hanging out with the guy till you and your husband is divorce. But please don't sleep with this new guy too soon! Some men just wants to use married women, and say haha i fcked his wife!

    please be smart and use protection next time you do have sex with any other man!

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  • I don't have no words to say, I am just saying wtf in my head over again. Damn, I think you need a counselor for the both of you. :(

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    • A marriage counselor?

    • Well something like that so you don't go into a pit :(

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