So my boyfriend and I have been together for two years. I love him intensely and he has a heart of pure gold; I've never met anyone who is this kind and caring and selfless. He proposed to me last night. I told him I wasn't sure, and I felt horrible because he looked so crestfallen but I couldn't in good faith say yes.
Here's the reason why: we haven't been living together (we each have separate apartments) but I get a good earful of his financial woes. He's been living from paycheck to paycheck, while getting some help from his mom/grandparents. And for reference, he's 27. But even in this situation, when I come over to his apartment I'll find something new. Last time, he upgraded his TV to a plasma. A few months ago, he replaced a non-necessary car part on his BMW. To me, it speaks of him being irresponsible with his finances, and I know that's something that would just tear a marriage apart if we got married. Even now, when I suggest that he does something differently with his money, he gets upset with me and says I'm being patronizing.
So folks, what do you think? Is he irredeemable? Should I give him a chance and say yes? Should I give him a carrot by telling him that I will agree to marry him only AFTER his financial situation improves?
Most Helpful Guy
When in doubt, throttle out. okay that particular phrase doesn't apply to your situation but you kinda get the gyst right? if you have any doubt about entering the confines of marriage with another person then you need to really take some time and think hard on it. and no one else can tell you what to do but we will advise as much as we can. but you know the relationship better than everyone else. if you truly believe you can make things work out, because whats what marriage is a part of working through the hard times together, then make that decision. but don't "give him a chance", you either fully commit to him and marry him because that's what you really want or say no. and yes you can always wait it out until after his financial situation improves.1