Why do people believe a couple should get married after a certain amount of time?

Okay I've been dating my current girlfriend for a little over 6 years now. Things are okay, I mean there are some bumps here and there. Anyway down to the point. So sometimes people ask about our relationship and when I tell them how long we've been dating they get surprised and comment about how I haven't married her yet. Honestly what is that all about?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Its just society's stereotypical, pre-conditioned way of thinking! DONT buy into it! Continue to think for yourself and don't be influenced by what 'others' think is best for you. You're very smart to wait because why rush anyway. Marriage in no way, shape or form will cause you to love your partner any more than you already do. It will not necessarily make your relationship any better, closer, happier, etc. Technically, the only thing a marriage does is formally legalize your partnership where the government is concerned (and maybe the church if you're religious). The only real benefit to obtaining a marriage certificate is to guarantee security (whether it be financially material or just psychological) of the partnership by way of the burdens that are imposed should one decide to dissolve it. And tax purposes... that's it! Marriage is (supposed to be) forever... and forever is a long time. Consider that prior to getting married and also consider if being married will really make much difference in your relationship. My opinion is if something's been working thus far, then why change it? UNLESS, you can offer good reason in reaping such (and only) benefits I've mentioned. Also keep in mind that in any marriage lies the possibility of a divorce. Should you have to go through one, it will most likely be the most stressful thing of your life... 'they say' its easier to bury a spouse than it is to divorce one, lol! So forget what other people say! You do what's right for you and only you!

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    • BTW- I was in a relationship for 10yrs and when people would say my bf and I should just get married, I'd reply by telling them how I'd rather get his name tattooed on my forehead, as that will be easier to get rid of should things not work out, lol. Saying that was my way of giving them my non-offensive, yet humorous impression of the idea while getting a good laugh out of them too ;D

What Girls Said 6

  • Shouldn't matter the time frame you have been with someone to marry or not.. What matters is if your ready to take that step. I hate when I see people who barely date a year and all a sudden married. I mean like great congrats but if just because your with someone for a long ass time doesn't mean your ready to jump into marriage. Marriage is for life not just another step in a basic relationship.

    I guess people just assume after a certain point it's time to take that jump but they really need to be sure they are ready.. Or else it's all for nothing.

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  • Marriage is the norm for people who've been in a relationship for a long time. I say if you don't want to get married or are not ready, don't let anyone pressure you.

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  • I wish more people would wait to get married and just be 100% sure they are the one. Not many wait like that any more.

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  • I think you can get married to fast and not know who you are marrying. But as far as of years of dating that's up to y'all to decide to further with your relationship. One my sisters was with the same guy for six years when they got married earlier this year. Now my other sister has been with her bf for over 14 years!! Both of my sisters had/have their kids out of wedlock, that's just how things happened for them. I myself have been with my husband for almost three years and married for one. It's no ones place to tell you when to get married, that's y'all choice. But beware if y'all get married be ready for all the "so when are y'all having a baby" questions... they start asking those about 10 mins after you say "I do". People are just rude is what it boils down to.

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  • Most people compare their goals in a relationship to others
    The truth is not everyone wants to get married and not everyone has to get married
    Cohabitation is very common among couples and even if they are engaged they are still not married

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  • If you don't want marriage at all it's whatever
    If you do, and have doubts she ain't do you
    I mean you're 18-24 years old and male. You need to see other people. Seriously

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What Guys Said 3

  • I would say after about 18 years old if you have been dating for 6 years and you do not know whether you two want to live with each other for the rest of your life, well then you never will know. Also many people believe in sex after marriage, so most likely dating that long you are highly unlikely to not have sex. Those would be two reasons I see for why people respond that way.

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  • Assuming she'd like to get married someday, 6 years is a long time not to pop the question. If you're never going to do it, maybe these people are worried that she's wasting her time.

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  • Marriage and divorce make the economy go 'round, and keep men broke.
    What right do you have to still control your own money, when they don't.

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