Do you think saving sex for marriage is a good idea?

What do you GaG users think? Is it a good idea, or a waste of time? Does it build excitement, or is it over-hyped. And I mean SEX, not sexual activity. There are plenty of alternative sexual activities besides out right sex!

  • Yes
    66% (19)53% (8)61% (27)Vote
  • No
    17% (5)27% (4)20% (9)Vote
  • Maybe?
    3% (1)7% (1)5% (2)Vote
  • It doesn't matter!
    14% (4)13% (2)14% (6)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it's very special to save that for your wedding day or should I say night (; haha. No but seriously that's my only regret not waiting until my wedding day. So many people see sex as not a big deal but I think it is. I mean your giving yourself to that person. It should be special and with someone who really loves you. I think in order for a relationship to work you have to first out God. And after that all will fall into place. If he/she is willing to wait until your wedding night that's pretty special. You want to make sure you're ready and you really want to do it with that person.

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    • I agree! The fact that they are willing to wait for you IS pretty special! Your comment hit me the hardest, because you seem to be speaking from cold, hard experience!

    • Yea I am speaking from experience. I mean having sex is pretty intimate. And you want to know that if you give yourself to that person that it's gonna be a serious relationship. You wouldn't want to give yourself up only to find out that's the only reason they dated you. I just think it's special that someone can love you so much that they would wait until your wedding night. A relationship can function without sex. If your both have good intentions. You can be intimate in so many other ways.

What Girls Said 11

  • Personally don't think it matters... If you want to have sex have sex, just don't be reckless with it (as in, protect yourself each time and take proper precaution when sleeping with someone). But if you enjoy something, especially something as natural as sex why not engage in it? I'd personally like to have sex with the person I marry before I marry them (if I even plan on getting married...) I just wouldn't want to be with someone who can't sexually fulfil me and that's a big part of a relationship... But some people, that I know are holding off, purely for religious reasons as well so whatever you feel best with. But that ship sailed for me a few years ago so I'm going to continue having sex.

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  • I don't really think it's wise to wait. Sex is a pretty vital part of a relationship. What if you get married to someone and then find out you're not sexually compatible or there's a lack of sexual chemistry? Then you'll just be having mediocre or bad sex for years and eventually none at all, which will just lead to one of you likely looking for sex elsewhere.

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    • Once again, what is this sexual compatibility/sexual chemistry? Explain to me what you think it means, because it makes little sense to me!

    • Compatibility and chemistry are two different things to me. By compatibility, I mean knowing that many of your sexual desires, fetishes, etc, and also your sex drive are pretty on par with your partner's. It also helps you figure out where you don't match up, and in that case you know what you can compromise on. It just seems better to have this all figured out before marriage. Less stress on the newlywed couple. Being compatible means you'll have a satisfying sex life with your partner, and that is a great thing for a long term relationship.

      By chemistry, I mean is the lustful spark actually there? This can be figured out well before marriage by any couple whether or not they're waiting to have sex though. Spark to me is being physically attracted to your partner, even mentally attracted to them, and maintaining that attraction.

      Are you a virgin by any chance? Before I had sex I used to wonder the same things about sexual compatibility.

  • Nope, I want to know if we click before, but I might be bias because I know what I want sexually already

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  • To each their own. Personally I don't believe in marriage. Why does it take rings and a paper to pronounce your true love? To me marriage means a person soul connected to the other person soul emtionally, mentally, physically and every way, understanding, patience - that's marriage.

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    • Life commitment in that aspect :)

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    • Close*
      I agree with everything you said except that your marriage seal the deal :)

      But its all cool. We're similar ;)

    • Alrighty then :D

  • I think so. :) For me personally, I wouldn't want to share my body with a man that isn't totally devoted to me. C=

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  • I think it's really a good idea, you won't die if you didn't have sex :)

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  • I think its a good idea but sometimes some people can't hold back the urges.

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  • Sex is important, can make or break a relationship. You wouldn't want to be married to one that is not sexually compatible with you.

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  • For me personally I wouldn't wait. Sexual chemistry is important

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    • What is this sexual chemistry you speak of? Does it make up for an ugly personality and other horrible qualities that someone who is great at sex may possess?

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    • To each their own. Sexual chemistry is important to me. Sexual satisfaction is important to most people. Makes it that much sweeter to express your love to that person :)... No one said anything about being animals. Not sure where that came from. Were talking about natural desires

    • I understand. But if you could, explain to me what your personal definition of sexual chemistry is. :)

  • No. Sex is important and should be done before the marriage

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  • I think that it puts more value on marriage to wait. It's not just about building excitement... though it does that too of course. I think it's a great demonstration of self-discipline to abstain, and self-discipline is a very strong predictor of success, particularly career success. It's an indicator that you take marriage seriously, and thus it's more likely to last.

    But the bottom line is that it puts more value on marriage. If you choose to eat vegetables every day, exercise regularly, and stay away from foods that taste good in your mouth but aren't good for you and/or make you feel sluggish -- what does that say about how you feel about your body? If you are careful with what you eat and how much you exercise, doesn't that imply that you have respect for your body?

    Likewise, if you are selective with the people with whom you have sex, doesn't that demonstrate a similar sort of respect for your body? Saving one's body for the ONE right person demonstrates great respect for not only the self, but for the one he/she loves. Aren't respect and selflessness the primary two ingredients of lasting love?

    If you introduce sex to the mix, it has the chance of overpowering the focus of the relationship. The whole relationship may become about sexual tension, rather than any kind of evaluation of each other's personalities, character, or goals. Sex can be a distraction, an inhibitor that can prohibit the forming of meaningful relationships, including one that may lead to marriage. It carries many physical risks of course. And, premarital sex can demonstrate a lack of self-control, self-respect, and/or respect for the "forever" aspect of marriage.

    The choice is always up to you, but personally - I think there are a lot of great reasons for waiting until marriage :)

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    • And to clarify the food analogy: I am NOT implying that sex is bad, unhealthy, or anything ridiculous like that! It is a great thing to be treasured. So the relationships, the people that you bring into your life, emotions, and soul by bring them in physically are what can be either healthy and sustaining or cause you harm. If you restrict yourself to healthy relationships, specifically the one and only central and most healthy relationship of your life (your choice of husband/wife), then you'll be much better off than someone who consumes trash relationships like inhaling a bag of chips.

      But yeah just to make it clear: sex is not bad, but in fact, it's so good that it should be treasured!

What Guys Said 7

  • I answered yes but really it doesn't matter. The most important thing is you respect the beliefs of the person you are with and their desires. You must respect yourself as well. If it is right it is right! If she is wanting you to wait then wait if she is the girl of your dreams! If she is the girl of your dreams and wants to be with you then let her. It will enhance your relationship and bring it to the next level. Every culture/religion is different on this. Make the best decision based on your trust with your partner. Good luck! :D

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  • Yes it is. Saving ur little innocent body and ur precious gift for the luv of ur life is truly an HONOR. Sumone who hold out dat long will hall all ma RESPECT with no questions. I valued virginity in a woman more than anything. Ita like her heart. I dont want any man to take her heart but except meh! I'll be the HAPPIEST man ever if i found dat one special gurl.

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  • If...

    The economy/way of life allowed people to get married young...

    And...

    Our legal system strongly discouraged divorce and protected the rights of fathers/husbands...

    It would be dandy. Nowadays, it doesn't work as well. I took a Family Law class with a local family law attorney... my God, it was awful. Did you know, in Georgia, if you're pissed at your spouse, you can literally give yourself a scratch on the arm, call the police, claim your spouse attacked you, and it's mandatory arrest for him/her?

    And/or, you could go to a local courthouse, file an injunciton for a temporary restraining order, have a hearing with a judge that day--your spouse is not informed--and if you convince the judge, your spouse is banned from going home or communicating in any way for 10 days. One guy in that 10 day restraining order, the attorney said, asked his mother in law to tell his wife she could have all the furniture if she just gave him this desk that was his father's.

    he got a year in prison for asking his mother in law to ask his wife that.

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    • Well said people didn't truly love each other... or lost their love...

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    • "Being in a non married relationship is much less of a gamble since they have a lot less power over you."
      Marriage gives you power over each OTHER. What's to be afraid of?

    • Abuse of power. A man has little power over his wife in marriage--he can threaten to divorce. But in court, she's pretty much guaranteed half of everything and likely alimony, along with custody of any children.

      Meanwhile, in non-married cases, a man can simply leave at any time without divorce attorneys or division of assets... the woman decides to start being controlling? Goodbye. Woman starts refusing to have sex? Goodbye.

      In a typical marriage, with the woman marrying up, the wife gets cash and prizes in divorce, and the man suffers. In a relationship, the man can walk away with no punishment.

  • Why wouldn't it be? It's better to find out if you're both sexually compatible before marriage, rather than finding out that you've wasted several years after marriage.

    I also don't really believe in marriage. What's the point? To make it official that you two are a couple? You don't need to spend a shit ton of money on this one occasion, when you don't even know if it will last. I am also not a christian or belong to any of those other religions so that is partially why.

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    • What is this sexual compatibility I keep hearing of? Are we like machines, with limited compatibility? Seriously, explain this to me. I have NO idea what that is and how relevant it is.

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    • basically trolling ):/

    • No, not really. For all you know your wife could be into threesomes, and if she absolutely wanted that would you be willing to adapt? That was what I was going for.

  • For me... it doesn't really matter. I rather have it before marriage so i know what the heck im doing

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  • I don't really think it matters. As long as the two love eachother, sex is a-okay in my book.

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