Is marriage scary... Im I too young?

My boyfriend just proposed to me last night. im only 17 and he is 21. I love him to death and I know he loves me. He also ask me to move in with him. He has his own apartment and car but the problem is I am still in high school. He also said that if I marry him he wants me to become a housewife. should I go through with it? am I too young? how do I tell my parent?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Umm how long you've been together?

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    • 2 years

    • Show All
    • We never had sex... Still haven't

    • As long she has an alternative place to live, nothing can go very serious. She can just say "no thanks", and moves back. What do you see as a hazard?

What Guys Said 10

  • You might want to look into the legalities of this, the moving in. Depending where you live, your boyfriend MAY have to take guardianship of you. Because you are a minor. Again depending where you live, if he does have to take guardianship. You MIGHT not be able to get married... ever.

    If you are in the US these laws can vary from state to state.

    Regardless of all this. I personally feel you are too young to be doing this. Living with him or marrying him. You said you've been together about 2 years. So I'm assuming this would be your first serious relationship.
    The four year age difference normally would not be an issue. In this case though, I feel you are not mentally developed (mature) enough to make a decision like this. No offence. I would think this of any 17 year old. You have not lived. Being married at a young age is a recipe for disaster.

    As far as the housewife thing. That is something the TWO of you need to decide. Not just him. Has this been your plan as well? Or did you want a career or maybe a university education?

    My opinion at this point and time of your life. Doing these things would not be wise.

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  • First marriage is not scarry but on the other hand you are too young for it. It takes a great deal of responsibilities and committment. And what if you things went off between you two and wants to end it he loses nothing while you would be out with no ability of working cause you haven't finished your education and maybe with a kid or two that needs so manythings that you can' afford so finish your study first then think about it and if he really loves you he will respect it and he will wait

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  • In Mexico girls can legally marry at 12 or 13. In some backwards countries like Yemen, Iran or Saudi Arabia girls 'marry' even at 9, well they're given in marriage by their family, their opinion isn't asked. What happens afterwards is sad)

    You're old enough to have sex (in some states)
    I think you're old enough to marry but I do NOT think you're old enough to be married. See the difference?~?

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    • First get your degree. Then get a job and a year's income as savings. Then start thinking about marrying. In the meanwhile, use BC and condoms.

  • 2 years together. So at 15 you were dating a 19 year old? Kinda weird on his side if you ask me.

    You're too young. And he wants you to just be a housewife and do nothing with your life. You're young, you have goals and opportunities ahead of you. Don't throw you're life away so soon.

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  • The housewife thing... is a red flag IMO. Sounds like he wants to control u and have u be his personal sex puppet!

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  • If you're pregnant then go for it. But if you're not, focus on your education for 6 more years.

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  • slow down people

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  • he sounds like a Charles Starkweather type lol

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  • If you're having to ask us if you should marry, you're probably not ready

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  • You're WAY too young, and you know this already.

    You've already proven you're smarter and more mature than your idiot boyfriend, who with the best intentions in the world, has a LOT of growing up to do.

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What Girls Said 8

  • How much do you really know about this guy? Have you ever fought? If you've never had a major fight, then you don't know how he'll handle the pressures of living together/marriage. Have you ever seen him make an important life decision? You can really judge someone's maturity level based on how you see them react to life choices. Right now, since you are dating him, You are seeing him through rose colored glasses, since you like him and want to see good things. You are also seeing what he wants you to see, and he's putting on a front for you. That's not a bad thing, everyone does it, but you have to learn to see past how he presents himself, and how nice he seems, and notice how he is when he thinks you don't notice. How does he treat the elderly/children? How does he handle a disagreement with a friend? Does he have respect for personal space/belongings? Does he trash his apartment, or find value in his belongings and want to take care of them? Does he take care of himself physically, or does he fill himself with junk, whether food, alcohol, or drugs? Marriage makes you an extension of him and vice-versa, so if he doesn't take care of himself, he won't be able to take care of you like a good husband, and likely won't be easy to take care of either. I highly recommend getting those questions answered before pursuing marriage.

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  • I'm 17, so I'm your age. There's a fair chance that you have another year of high school, right?
    The fact that you're asking these questions shows that you're obviously likely more than a bit concerned about it.
    I'm not opposed to marrying young (and wouldn't mind it for myself) but, personally, I find this age TOO young to marry, especially with all of the things life now offers. You've got so much stuff ahead of you.
    Please finish high school. It'll make things so much easier on you. If you wanna go on to a college/university and get a degree, go for it. If you wanna go on to a trade school for something, go for it. Find out what you want out of life. Push yourself. Don't let anyone else decide for you, whether that person be him, your peers, or even (in some cases) your parents.
    If you ask him to wait for a few years (which, in my opinion, is a perfectly reasonable request given the fact that you say he loves you and likely understands your age and that you may not be totally ready) and he won't wait, don't be afraid to let him go. There are plenty of men in the world. And if he agrees to wait for a few years but still insists on you being a housewife (and you desire something different for yourself), don't be afraid to let him go. I think that part of marriage is finding someone whose personality not only lines up with yours, but their life does, too.
    As to moving in with him, wait until you graduate from high school (or turn 18 if it's after graduation). Get one part of your life wrapped up before jumping into the next.
    (To be continued...)

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    • (Sorry, GAG said my 1995 character reply exceeded 2000 characters. -.- But anyway...)

      My mother always tells me this and I see the wisdom in it: Make sure you can always take care of yourself. Get a good job. No matter how unlikely it seems, if things get hairy, sh*t hits the fan, and you two separate, at least you'll be able to take care of yourself.

      I really hope that you end up making the right decision in this, thinking long and hard on it and not jumping into anything. You both have years ahead of you. There's no rush. :)

  • wow! 17? sounds too young... do you really wanna become a housewife? think well about it... and do you think your parents will agree with it?

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  • People who are ready to get married don't seek validation from anyone, I would say wait on it.

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  • You're too young.

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  • Too young, and don't be a housewife unless YOU want to be a housewife. I can't imagine getting married before I'm 30 and after pursuing 3 careers... Just make sure you do want in life, not just to please him.

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  • Too young to get married and even though he loves you he needs to understand that you need time to think and decide. By experience I'll tell you is best to wait and not to get desperate. Think what is best for you, must of all what you really want and how you see yourself in 5 to 10 years. Do you see yourself happy with children or you see youself as a professional and kids later. The decision is in your hand. What you realy want. If he loves you enough, he will encourage you to become a better and sucessful person, instead of focusing being a housewife.

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  • I think u r to young you need to experience life I am speaking from experience I was with my ex since I was 14 we were together for13 years

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