Whats up with these marriages? They don't seem to last long? WHY?

Who do you think has the main issue? Is it the guy or the girl? It looks like more for a business deal than a marriage.. All i live for is a loving/caring wifey and if it doesn't work in future.. Am i blown? Lol


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's society and people not understanding this VERY important truth:
    media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/.../...7cba07d19c8e.jpg

    It has nothing to do with age but maturity and principles and integrity.
    People are too selfish and reckless nowadays to warrant a relationship. The word love is overused. There is no respect and little trust. People are ok with being evil pricks and even making it out to be a good think to be so. Which is tragic. Nobody even thinks or cares about the children because they are THAT selfish. In summary the problem is the inflated ego and selfishness and lack of morals of society at large.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Poor compatibility. People rushing into things without really "knowing" each other.

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    • Rushing into things? Such as? Early age marriages?

    • I agree harakiri. No early sex and early marraige based on early sex. Because sex is bonding experience having it right away will release chemicals that will make you believe you are in love and a match when you really aren't. Nobody cares about true love anymore. It's sad.

  • There isn't just one main issue. It could be a number of things like financial problems. Lack of communication. Affairs. Lack of intimacy. Not treating each other with affection and care. Personally I would only divorce if he had an affair. I'm quite a committed person and have high hopes for a happy marriage in my future. I wouldn't give up hope. Just gotta try to find the person who's a hood fit for you, someone you connect with and who stimulates you emotionally, intimately and mentally.

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  • I think the main issue is how they value and understand what marriage is... if they think and do like what you're thinking, a loving/caring in relt'p, concern with each other rather than of themselves, then I think they will last long :)

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  • I think a lot f people are getting married because of the chemistry they have but its compatibility that is over looked

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  • It's both ends. People get married too young and aren't really ready to grow up. Just because a divorce happens doesn't mean all hope is lost.

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  • temptation, lost of value. find out what you want and what the girl want...

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    • How do you define temptation?

    • tempation, lots of internet stimulation, easy to meet women online, ease to lie that you are not married.
      on the other hand, many said their wife won't do this or that. well... maybe those are the marriages that men stay in.
      mine took me for granted when i gave to a marriage... it tells me, people have to be self and not give in order to keep the men wanting more... all a game to me.

  • I think a lot of people think that once you are married you don't have to work on your relationship anymore.
    I've always been told that you shouldn't stop dating your partner once you're married.. You need to continue to date. In other words, just like how you go out of your way to impress or care for the person you're dating, how you are as a husband/wife should be the same. Also, as soon as something goes wrong, they tend to walk out.

    Some people really aren't meant to be together so just because you work on it, doesn't mean it's guaranteed to last. But generally, I think it's laziness. they don't want to work on their marriage. That goes for both men and women.

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  • I don't know what are you talking about dude true love lasts longer

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What Guys Said 8

  • There are a million and one reasons that marriages don't work out, but I think one of the main culprits is rushing in. I feel like its such a hurried process sometimes, plus people get attached and want to commit before the shine wears off. When I see people engaged after a year or two of dating, I sometimes shake my head. How is two years enough time to figure out if you can live with someone for the remainder if your life? I've seen people engaged in under a year of meeting each other, and they declare themselves soulmates. But then guess what? A year or two goes by, and the honeymoon phase is over, and he can't stand her nagging, and she can't stand his bad habits, and it all falls apart. People look at me and my girlfriend sideways all the time, because we're not engaged or married and have been together seven years. Other women say "giiiiirrrrllll, you need to tell him to marry you or you need to leave." We just laugh at that attitude. We're happy as hell, we live like we're married, we just haven't gone through the whole process because there's no rush. We're committed, we know the other isn't going anywhere. Why it requires some grand ordeal like a wedding to be seen as legitimate is beyond me. I mean, we'll do it, but we just want to wait til our money is right. We're a better couple than most married people we know, or at least as good as. Weddings and marriages are formalities. And not to blame women per se, but girls mostly seem to be in a HUGE rush to get married, or particularly, to have a wedding. Its "their day", and it gets hyped from the time they're young children. So there's a pressure to do it, both for themselves, and for the guy to ask her. It becomes an ultimatum, and that's a terrible way to start a marriage. My parents dated FIFTEEN YEARS before getting married, and theyre 82 and 76, and coming up on their 37th anniversary in September. You just have to know the dirty, crusty side of someone before you take a leap like that.

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    • good explanation

    • Don't you think you'd end up your entire life getting to know the person and then you can simply walk away saying its not working and all? Although you do have a point but then you don't seem to like the idea of getting married? Like how is your life is going to be any different after marriage?

    • Well, that's a good point. It's an imperfect science. Where do you draw the line and say "it takes X amount of years to sufficiently know someone before committing." Obviously there is no concrete answer and will differ from person to person. Honestly, I don't know where I stand on marriage. To me, a divorce is just a complicated breakup with mad paperwork, haha. My issue is people almost act like marrying someone guarantees something, and it really doesn't. It doesn't lock anyone into anything, they can still fall out of love with you and leave. Personally, I FEEL married, so life won't be different other than introducing her as a wife instead of a girlfriend to people. A guy said to me once "it's important to get married in the professional world. It shows people you're stable and that you're not gay." The gay part is obviously ignorant, but how am I less stable because I'm not married? That's another thing, marriage validates you in society, and that shouldn't be the case.

  • You should read both of these links and take them seriously psychcentral.com/.../

    www.macleans.ca/culture/books/the-two-year-itch/

    50% of women won't want to know their husband at 4 years into a marriage. He can be a better man than ever, and this still happens (It's instinctive, when chemicals in her head stop working). You don't see it coming, until it happens suddenly. It's no surprise that about 30% of married women will file for divorce. Some of them can't even find a reason, and often the husband doesn't get one.

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  • Marriages comprise of interest and emotions. Any relationship is fixed on a foundation of one or more interests, when interests are expunged, so too are the emotions felt. If it's not interest, then emotions could also be the culprit. Name any concrete thing, money for example, that is an interest, value supervenience on cash would be the emotional fixation of such.

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  • I think it is a complicated thing with many reasons. I think the biggest reason is the destruction of the family which creates a cycle. I also think that is the biggest problem with most of our major issues today. People are not cared for and loved and in turn, they cannot care and love either. They end up with no respect, love, compassion, empathy, etc for anyone else. Then they pass the same problems onto their children. It will continue to get worse and worse.

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    • Thank you so much for your input.. You also make sense.

  • they both have the main issues!

    people now a days are so immature and hyped up on fantasy stories that they predict that them getting married is gonna solve all their life problems and happily ever after. so they decide to rush into it expecting all the best but never pay attention to the negative side of it

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  • People rush into marriage during the honeymoon period of the relationship without seeing they do not work together.

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  • Fact: Marriages lasted a life time for most people before the so called "women's liberation", which basically made them slaves to mega cooperations.

    So it is the selfishness of women.

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  • I read one article on time about a minister dating his wife. At first, I was scratching my head in confusion, thinking "what?"

    But the further I read the article, it made perfect since. To summarize, it was saying that after people get married, they usually stop taking their significant other out on dates and investing individual time with each other, which I can find that true. Marriage does not mean you no longer have to invest time in each other and take each other out to dinner, movies, etc. in fact, you should always treat it like a new date each time and continue to grow closer together.

    Also, I blame it partially on premarital sex. I feel that when a spouse has had partners before, it can bring jealousy and temptation to a marriage.

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    • Amazinggg very well thought..

    • Agreed. And about premarital sex: It doesn't only bring jealousy and temptation, it also robs marriage off the uniqueness of sex while the latter is an important part of it.

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