I want to be married so badly?

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now. And it's just all I think about. Am I thinking too early? And if I'm not how do I let him know without actually telling him?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, it's too early + you're too young.
    Ad least this is my first instinct.

    But if you're both ready and think about it a lot, I guess it's normal and natural. But if he's never mentioned it or even told you he loves you, give it up. He's definitely not ready.

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What Guys Said 7

  • Divorce rates are especially high if women marry young.
    If you're married before you're 20, the chance of divorce is about 45%. Don't say it won't happen to you; they all say that. If you're married after you're 25, the chance of divorce drops to 22%.

    If you've only known him for a year, you don't even know each other yet.

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  • I'd recommend being together for 4 years first including some time when you actually live together if it's possible.

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    • We live together now.

    • Cool! Then just +1 year. But one year is a bit early. My personal optimum would be 2.

  • Please re-evaluate yourself. Why would you want to get married ever with divorce rates so high now... If you do not even live together there is a whole bunch of things you probably do not even know about your significant other yet.

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    • Cause being married is more than just paper to me and I want his last name as mine. I want that bond with him. Screw divorce ratings, I'm not gonna base my happiness on that. And we do live together.

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    • I am religious. I refuse to have a kid with a man I am not married to. That's what I believe. My brother is like you kinda. He thinks "why should a piece of paper tell you, you have to be with someone." I guess every persons views are different.

    • And I have heard what some guys say. But I have also heard the guys who respect their wifes/exwifes. It just depends on the guy. And I also heard worst from the wife. It could go both ways.

  • The issue is not so much you want to be married so badly, but rather why does a matter so much for you?

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  • If you are both religious, then you are wise to think about marriage, and he shouldn't be scared off by you mentioning it.

    If you aren't religious, then honestly it would probably scare him off, what with the divorce rates going through the roof.

    Marriage is really only worth it if you go into it with the view that it is sacred and that divorce is never an option.

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    • I'm kind of religious, he is not. And we talk about being married and having kids. But he's thinking like a couple years. He has no idea I want it sooner. :/

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    • Well I don't wanna start a family till later anyways. We have time to build that. He can support us perfectly.

    • If he wants to marry you, then talk to him about moving up the schedule. I could see him freaking out if he wasn't already considering it (and marriage talk came out of the blue), but since you've already talked about it, he shouldn't be that scared by it.

      I honestly don't know how you should bring up the topic, but the only way for it to happen is by you talking to him about it.

  • me too but im 18

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    • Me too. I'm 18 as well :/

    • ooh.. lol.. i need a women in my life to be honest.. i need to settle a bit as u can see. i'm wild..

    • i'm not thinking with my D so i dont want jsut sex no. i want a female !

  • Why do you want to be married so badly?

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    • I honestly don't know.

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    • It's just a feeling that I have. That "i know he's the guy I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with" feeling.

    • I'm just sayin'. If you don't know why you want it, you probably don't want it

What Girls Said 4

  • First you should make sure you've had a lot of long, unsexy conversations about things like chores, shared finances, caring for aging parents, end-of-life decisions, kids (if you even want them), parenting styles, where to live, whether or not you want to buy a house some day, finances after divorce (GET A PRENUP), etc., etc.
    That was actually going to be my next question -- I'm going to go crowdsource a list of pre-engagement conversations to have with your long-term SO.

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  • Yeah. Too early. 1 year is not enough in my opinion.

    And why do you want to get married so badly so quickly? What is it going to change?

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    • I honestly don't know. I just have been having this feeling of him and I being married. I don't think anything will change (except for my last name) I mean, we already live together and we do all the "married" couple things. I don't think it will change anything.

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    • What about them?
      Same facts go for both gay and straight parents

    • Those kids turned out fine. And I grew up with single parents.

  • Lol your crazy

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  • You can't make him marry you. Statistically living together increased your chances of divorce.

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