Am I not attractive anymore?

Hi im married im 17 years old my husband is 19 & weve been together since we were little I've always found him cute & hot & ithought hed think the same bout me but now that we live together everything is different he gets home from work & iknow he's tired but he won't even give me a kiss we also have a baby now she's 1 yr 5 months & he gets home & only pays attention to her or if not he won't even want her near him I don't know whats wrong I don't know if im not attractive to him or what is wrong Help please


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're attractive. Are you becoming to become more stable and indipendant? This is very typical, you start living purely to make things go around and you forget those sweet things. It's very important to keep those up in a relationship to keep it exciting.

    Try to arrange something with him alone in the weekend, spend some time with him, can be anything, something fun, exciting, romantic, whatever and then end the day with a happy ending if you know what I mean.

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    • Thanks for MH. And I ment to say starting to become, not becoming to become haha

    • Figures she'd choose the BA that most suited what she was looking for, not the REAL answer

What Guys Said 4

  • yup you turned 17 and starting losing your looks. good luck for the next 60 years of life... haha I'm kidding

    I imagine you are going through what a lot of people go through when they get married but ESPECIALLY when they have children. a lot of the romance can start to leak out of the relationship. you need to communicate your feelings (don't accuse or confront) and then you two will have to figure out ways to create the spark. when you are married and particularly have children couples can get into the sort of boring daily routine, it does require effort to maintain that spark

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    • Iknow believe me i try but it seems like im the only one trying because even he bearly wakes up he's already mad or whining about something & idont know wha to do i just cry without anyone knowing & when there's people around i fake being happy

    • sounds really rough. I'm sorry. however it also isn't a completely unheard of scenario. the longer a relationship goes and the arrival of children can all be difficult hurdles. both people HAVE to be willing to make an effort and then go about doing things to make that effort. At some point your partner needs to realize that he has to make that effort otherwise the relationship is doomed. But the fact that he wakes up in a bad mood or whiny would suggest that there is an underlying problem he is going through and I'd do what I could to try and find out where his head is at/what he's thinking

  • talk to him. i think he has office problems or may be debt. or future tension.

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    • I try but everytime i want to talk he just cutts me off

    • Being a man man i can understand that tension of job, office targets and future plans distract man. morever debt is the biggest enemy. So try to talk to him. I m sure he will share with you.

  • You guys really need to communicate better by the sounds of it. Ask him what is bothering him.

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  • When you have a baby, things change. Life becomes about the kid, not the marriage

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    • Amen. Which is why people at 16-25 ought to focus on themselves and building the right relationship base before bringing kids in the mix.

      You can't date you boyfriend/husband and manage a newborn at the same time. Besides you aren't that attractive when breast feeding, cleaning baby diapers and dried food off the high chair.

      I've seen too many cases of people rushing to add kids and ruining the marriage.

      You were probably a shotgun marriage given the age. Just be happy he's still there for now. That's about all you can ask for.

      Your late teens and early 20s are about dating and seeing lots of different girls as you find yourself and grow into an adult. He's giving all that up to stand by you. I don't know you can ask much more. Expecting someone to think someone is hot from 16 to the rest of their life is a stretch. Some of those hot teenagers from when I was 17 aren't so hot now. It is love that endures. The better question is does he love you?

What Girls Said 5

  • You're 17 and you're married? Wow... maybe that's what's wrong, you're both so young. Personally, I think 17 and 19 are way too early to decide who you want to spend your whole entire life with. How have you been together since you were little? Like, you've been dating since you were little? How well do you two even know each other? I mean, people change as they get older, especially as people enter adolescence and then adulthood. That transition from "child" to "teen" to "adult" changes a lot of people, both physically, mentally, and emotionally.

    I don't know either of you personally but perhaps you just need to talk to him. Figure out what's going on. But if he works a lot then perhaps he's just tired and likes to relax and have some time to himself when he gets home. That's a possibility. But of course, no one really knows except him.

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  • You should talk to him about how you feel. Maybe he has just been distracted, I mean, with all those changes and responsabilities. Have you tried that before? Being honest and direct really is the best policy. Make him calmly understand why you feel like you feel. Dont put blame on him, just ask him if he also feels you guys have been lacking time to be intimate. Depending on his response move on from there. I'm sure its just a phase, relationships do have ups and downs. Just communicate. It will be better I promise. And maybe come up with 1 day in the week you guys can make plans only the both of you and have sexy time. If you have someone that can maybe babysit. Find common interests as well. Engage in an activity together. Hope I helped :)

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  • I don't know where you live, but 17 is awfully young. Anyway, I'm not sure what the deal is, but I would try making him as comfortable as you can. People who are worn out from long work days are hardly affectionate. I know this personally. My fiancee works very long hours and hardly pays attention to me when she gets home. I try to make her as comfortable as I an. I cook her a nice meal, prepare the bed/couch or whatever she wants to lay on. I massage her. Try these things and see how it goes from there.

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    • I try doing that too i mean my house is clean i have dinner ready i even ask him what he wants to eat & whatever that is ill make i try being pretty every day i do my hair & i dress up but it seems like he never notices & when i ask him do i look pretty he won't even look at me hell just say yes

    • Better than "no", right?

  • So you got pregnant at 14? Lol

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  • You're married and a mother at 17? Wow you are young..
    He needs to get it together, he is a father and a husband now, he can't act like that. Maybe he is tired, and maybe he has a bad period, but he needs to be there for his daughter. I really don't think it's because he doesn't find you attractive, so don't think that. I just think he needs a little time, and to talk maybe to somebody?

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    • I agree with u & yes he's tired because he works too much & he's stressed out bc he wants a car & we dnt have money to buy one & i try talking but he won't listen he talks to his mom almost every day but they only talk about her wanting to build a house & how he's gonna help her with money & stuff

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    • Thats exactly what i say but i dont think he cares

    • He just have to, he is a father and a husband. Not a young boy anymore.

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