Why is it so important?

I don't understand that sexual compatibility after marriage (especially with the divorce rates, most marriages aren't for life). Why does a girl have to put out before that special night, if you love her, have a great connection, share similar values and feel you can have future with her... but if sex is not good enough then fuck all that. (tbh with all those toys now, I don't think finding a way to please someone should be that hard) and if you love that person then you should respect their wishes and values.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Exactly as IHav2fart said, if you don't have sexual compatibility with someone it'll be very difficult to commit. You may not mind it or think it's a problem, but on your wedding day when you're getting ready to have sex after waiting soooo many years for it only to find your partner has a micropenis and doesn't know how to pleasure a women because all he knows is what is shown in p*rn, you're going to feel a bit of regret. It'll be a psychological thing. You think a person is perfect only to find out they aren't as great as you imagined.

    That being said you're right as far as having no excuse with so many toys. And if you love a person you'll make it work. I myself am waiting until marriage with my girlfriend. I know what'll be more important to me is getting her off. Just having intimacy on that level is good enough for me so I know I don't need to "test drive" her before our special night because it'll be special even if we don't necessarily have orgasms on the first try.

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What Guys Said 8

  • Good question, but I think the question of why getting a piece of paper and a ring linked to be a certificate to allow someone to have sex with you. This is one thing that's private enough that I'd rather leave bureaucracy out of it, yet so many females seem to insist on it because who knows why.

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  • Because sex is an important part of the relationship and marriage is knowing as much of the relationship as you can possibly know, and still wanting to be with that person until death do you part. Why go into marriage if you don't know a part of the relationship that you can easily explore? It makes no sense aside from moralistic values.

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  • What a lot of people don't realise is that, being with someone who lacks your sexual interest can be very frustrating. As time goes on, that frustration builds up, not being able to have sex because you're both too different. Being sexually incompatible can prove devastating to a relationship. You may be ok never having sex, but many people are not, a sexless relationship may prove to be just a ticking time bomb waiting to go...

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    • You don't need to have sex with a person in order to have detailed conversations about sexual likes and dislikes...

    • Of course not, you don't require actually sex to learn you're both not compatible, but some people are into some things and not with others. That alone can affect the future of a relationship or marriage. Once the other person learns you're not sexually compatible, chances are it's going to go wrong in the future.
      I had a woman flirting with me for months, she had marriage in mind. I started to look into her character and interests, she's not compatible with me. Sexually, she's barely into anything. That alone would mean it'll be a sexless relationship.

    • You also do not need to get married to have detailed conversations about those either.

  • Because if the sex is no good, then people may find good sex elsewhere. Can't fathom bad sex the rest of my life with my partner.

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    • What is bad sex anyways? I mean... how difficult could it be to have good sex? If you're attracted to a person, love that person, have discussed sexual likes and dislikes before... how could you possibly have awful sex?

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    • harakiri is making some awesome fucking points though:P

    • I get where she is coming from but lucky for her, I don't think she had a bad sexual experience that is why I don't think she gets it.

  • You're absolutely right. It's very shallow. Personally, if it isn't good there's no reason why I shouldn't be able to make it good.

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  • Are you asking why couples in love have problems with sexual compatibility?

    Or are you saying there shouldn't be any problems, so why do people act like establishing sexual compatibility matters?

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  • Sexual fulfillment is way too important in a relationship to gamble on like that. At most I'd wait until a girl was my fiance. I have to know what kind of sex I'll be getting for the rest of my life.

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  • Grammar issues have made this hard to read, but I think what you are asking is why is sex in marriage such a big issue?

    Well, you mentioned that as long as y'all are trying it should be easy to please someone in bed. Yes, that is true. HOWEVER, it seems like a big problem is when people stop trying. They go for months without sex and start looking to other venues and people for that urge.

    Girls don't HAVE to put out, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do, especially sexually. Do not let anyone let you think otherwise.

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    • She is asking why females are expected to have sex prior to marriage to assess sexual compatibility.

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