Would you go to a friends wedding that you do not support?

I have this old friend from college who is about to get married to a guy she's been dating for about 3 years. I've known her since High School but didn't really get close till we lived in the dorms together. We've drifted apart since we left school, but she asked me to be one of her bridesmaids. To give a backstory, my friend has had a history of bad relationships, where the guys used to be emotionally and physically abusive. And she would just stop hanging out with us (her friends) and put all her time and energy into these bad relationships. We got distant as she knew I didn't approve and thought she deserved better. She claimed I was attacking her when I would tell her how I felt about it. She met Her fiancé because he used to be friends with the guy who was emotionally abusive to her. I knew them both, as we used to party at the same house together. Over the years I've gotten a bad vibe from the fiancé as I noticed that he gets around. He's hooked up with 3 of the 5 bridesmaids, and used to date strippers before he started dating my friend. I even overheard him and another guy from the group arguing over a (different) girl, fighting about who she belonged to. When in reality she wasn't dating either of them. Anyways, I already told my friend I would be her bridesmaid, because I thought it would help mend our friendship.. but after the bridal shower and bachelorette party, I don't feel like I can support this union, as I found out the fiancé made out with a girl at his bachelor party, and my friend decided to do molly and make out with other girls at her party. I just don't feel like I connect with her any more. but I feel like If I bail, it will be the end of our friendship. So I don't know what to do. Which leads to my question, would you go to a friends wedding that you didn't support?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It doesn't seem like she listens very well in the first place, so I would probably just save the drama and effort and just keep my mouth shut. Its her life she see's what he is doing and is choosing to still be apart of it. there's really not much you can do with these type of people.

    I battled a similar situation with my best friend dating that wouldn't even let her wear v-neck shirts and if she stayed over at her parents house he would stalk her and drive past in his car to make sure she was really there... crazy mother fucker. I told her over and over, told the guy off, when he started hitting her got in contact with her parents (she was 18 but still in highschool while this was going on) but guess what? She ended up staying with the guy for over 3 years... sometimes people just have to figure out things for themselves.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Reading your story i feel that you should not go th her wedding. Since her fiance is of bad nature or hooker , you would not be able to drag friendship for very long. If you keep friendship, then, every now and then he will be searching the chance fo grab you. so the frienship is obviously going to end in both cases. You say to your friend that you are feeling ill so you can't come.

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  • I was supposed to go to my cousins wedding in Austin Texas on the 24th of this month. I'm not in the wedding (not a groomsman), don't have a girlfriend AND don't have brothers and sisters/friends I can bring. My parents, who are going, would be with each other and of course everyone else would be with each other. My cousin (the bride) would be hanging out with her friends, much like my male cousins weddings. I support the marriage... she's getting married to an Indian man, as a white girl from Texas. But, I do not want to go to the wedding, for a couple of reasons.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I went and would go. Because this is what the friendship is for. You support them even you do not like their opinions, their lifestyles etc

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  • Yes. Even if I don't agree with the choices they make, I'll always be there for my mates.

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  • What a rat of a fiance, but you should go and avoid him, since you're friends, and you wouldn't want to lose a friend because of that. :)

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