So I'm getting married in a couple weeks and my fiancé is a peace of horse sh*t?

I'm getting married in a couple weeks and my fiancé dropped the bomb on me! The asshole told me that he cheated on me 3 times in the beginning of our relationship. And that one of those girls was one of his female friends who I actually let it my home COUNTLESS F*CKING TIMES!!! (mind you we have been together for 3 years and 4 months)

He told me he's letting me know now because he wanted us to have a clean slate for when we got married and its been eating him alive. I punched him in the face and walked out the room in tears!!! I'm so angry!! And now I'm having doubts about getting married!!! I can't even trust him anymore! One of my friends said its way overdue and I should forgive him! But I'm so hurt!!! I don't know wtf to do!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • To me it not over due the whole relationship was build on lies. While your
    Being faithful and he wasnt. Ok it was in the begining doesn't matter to me is that the real truth I don't know he now telling you when your wedding in 3 weeks? Like now he feeling guilt not before. To me you have a right to drop him or to make it work it on you what do you want honesty I would leave sure he told you so some people may think that great but to me he didn't really do you a favor but finally have the balls to be truthful. But you'll be thinking way to much on this and wondering everything if you stay and go tho marriage in 3 weeks if you really want to stay with him id post pone that wedding asap and see if you can make it work or drop him all together and get a real man that deserves you. It not late to be mad and go tho your feelings at all. It ok to cry and make a big deal out of it. Plus he friends with one of the girls yea that would fly by me at all. So dont let your friends say you need yo forgive ypu dont need to until you go tho the emotions and the phase. Sure you should forgive but not for h for your self and let go doesn't have to be at this moment.

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    • Im very sorry for what he did to you. He doesn't deserve you. And you dont know if he really change it damaged to the relationship that trust that was of 4 years of building is
      All down the toliet now and he still friends with her he may cheat when your married with her. And even of he does stop being her friend will you be able to trust him again and trust he not talking or seeing her? It is a slap to your face and it disrespect to you. Id leave him. Find a real man. One that doesn't cheat and mans u. And thank you. I really hope the best for you. It will take time to heal.

What Guys Said 7

  • Really sounds bad he cheated all them times and expects you to marry him in few weeks
    with a clean slate wow girl you really need to think this one over

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  • I know it hurts you, but he kind of fucked up by telling you. It was three years ago. He may have changed or he just may not have looked at your two relationship with the same seriousness initially.

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    • He's had many chances to tell her. Why would you let someone know weeks before they are about to marry you?

    • Buy I mean to CONTINUE to let that slut in my house till this day!! She came over my house a couple days ago and we sat and chatted about the wedding. Ugh, I feel sick. He still has asshole in him!!

    • @ mutedaisy He thought it was the right thing to do for his guilt.

      @QA I know what you mean. I would be annoyed too. From their perspective though, I doubt they still like each other. It was just sex. For them I don't think it's a big deal. I understand where you're coming from. They've crossed quite a boundary. Again though, I don't think she meant it personal to you and I bet she is happy you're getting married to him.

  • You can forgive him, or not, the fact that remains here is that he cheated on you and several times. is that really someone who you really want to get married to? Its obvious that your angry and hurt, so you got to ask yourself, do you really want to marry him either way? You got the power to say yes and/or no, be cautious ms, marriage is no joke, good luck with everythiing.

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    • Thankyou!

    • Nessun problema signorina... buona fortuna e arrivederLa. No problem ms, good luck and take care.

  • I'd talk to him about it and after talking about it decide if you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with him still.

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  • He should have never told you. I wouldn't blame you for canceling the wedding. However, punching him in the face was not the answer. Maybe slapping but not punching. That would make me doubt the marriage if I were him.

    But I'm still on your side here.

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    • He's lucky I only punched him! Imagine if your fiancé slept with two random people and her friend who she always lets in your house. Do you know how stupid that makes one look.

  • Its going to be a constant problem in marriage and you probably will never be happy with him, you deserve a man thst isn't a fucking scumbag piece of shit

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  • Oh man..3 times behind yo back. Not kool :/

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What Girls Said 11

  • Oh man, that really sucks. To be together for 3 years and 4 months, you must really love him (especially since you saw yourself marrying him). But after this.. dang. How are you supposed to trust him now?

    I would postpone the wedding, at the very least. You'll need more than 2 weeks to think this through.

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  • Honestly. I only read the first two sentences of your question and here's what I've got to say: Drop him like a bad habit.

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  • Dump him now before you have to pay for a divorce lawyer.

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    • I agree. I've been cheated on and since I had stayed with him, he thought that he was a king smh, I should have left sooner. He treated me like shit&worse he felt free to cheat in my face, literally. . thinking me being in love means that I dont have morals for myself smh. No effF that!!! How do you feel?

  • How much are divorce lawyers these days? Three times, fuck that.

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    • Exactly! That's just not cool at all!!

  • You shouldn't have punched him in the face. No amount of wrong gives you the right to resort to physical violence. In my opinion you are just as bad as him because you punched him in the face and disrespectfully referred to him as a piece of horse shit.

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    • Are you fucking kidding me!!! I don't give a shit! He disrespected me 3 times, probably even more! He let that little slut in MY house so many times even though he had slept with her. And TWO more girls!!! He could have gave me an STD or something. Thank god I don't!! So please, you don't know how I feel or what I'm going through right now.

    • Feeling bad does not give you the right to act bad. If everybody engaged in bad behaviour every time they felt bad society would collapse in 2 days.

    • Well I guess we handle things different. No regrets!

  • i'm engaged too and i love my fiance to death but if he'd tell me that he cheated, even if it was just once, it would be over. in your case ot was even multiple times and with people he knew.

    cancel the wedding for sure! this will defenitely destroy your relationship anyway, so you can avoid a divorce rather.

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  • Well, be glad he told you BEFORE the wedding. Call the wedding off and leave him.

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  • Don't do it! You obviously deserve better. He probably thought there would be no consequences since y'all were getting married soon.

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    • That's what I thought! Like "hey I'm marrying you so you shouldn't really care" is he kidding me!!!

  • Being with someone for over 3 years is a long time. If it happened in the beginning it might have been during a time he didn't take the relationship as a serious closed relationship. A lot of people casual date in the beginning to test the waters. I know you are hurt but take some time and talk to him. This will be the time he will more then likely be the most open and honest. I am not trying to justify what has done but I don't generally think he is a bad person. "Sometimes good people make bad choices but that doesn't make them bad people"

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  • Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

    Love never fails.

    If you said yes to marrying your fiance, you probably also said that you loved him too, didn't you? It's easy to say that you love someone when they are completely lovable, when they have done nothing wrong, when they look attractive, say only nice things, and you have nothing to forgive them for. It's easy to love a perfect person.

    But what you have here, just like you and every other person on the planet, is an imperfect person whom you claimed to love. So how much do you really love him? If you love him enough to be his wife, you must forgive him when he apologizes genuinely - completely and every time. You can't only forgive the trivial things, but then only partially forgive the deep things.

    How deep is your capacity to love? Why did he confess? He confessed, because of genuine guilt. He wanted to give you the free choice to accept him, including his mistakes, or reject him. Either way though, he loved you enough to give you the choice, rather than waiting until after the wedding to tell you or never telling you at all.

    You have a right to be hurt. However, your fiance also did a very brave thing by confessing this to you. It'd be a shame if he learns that it's better for him to lie than tell the truth from now on.

    Take some time away from everyone. Figure out what you want in life. Figure out if your fiance would make a good husband. Figure out why you are so angry. Figure out if this is unforgivable. This fact was torturing your fiance - just imagine how much more it would torture him if you never forgave him. Do you really want to torture someone whom you claimed to love? Just take a deep breath.

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  • It sounds like you have some things to work out before you get married

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    • I'm not even sure anymore, I'm leaning more towards the fuck you side.

    • That sounds like a pretty decent reaction if you ask me.

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