Because I do sometimes.
You know a lot of people, especially men, say they see little difference in getting married and paying for a whore
I've been with my husband forever, but it changed a bit since we got married.
We both stand very well financially, he especially does outstanding in that area. And he buys me all those expensive gifts. Like be puts thought into them and all, he's very attentive. Yet whenever he arranges something we have sex. It feels a bit weird sometimes. Like he almost expects it.
We have sex on other occasions too, but then it's in a house I can't contribute much too or in a hotel I couldn't afford... He paid for all that stuff and he says he doesn't mind, but why? Why does he feel like he has to?
Most Helpful Guy
There is hopefully a big difference, though from the outside it appears small.
The difference is, hopefully, you two genuinely like each other. And its not a direct trade, at least in the short term.
Your husband if he loves you and enjoys you AND feels loves and desired by you will be happy to buy you things because doing so and supporting a woman he loves makes him feel good and powerful and happy he can please you. But he's not doing it SO you will have sex with him. He's doing it because he cares for you AND feels cared for by you.
Similarly, hopefully you're not sleeping with him SO he will give you things.
And that's what's different from a prostitute.
Now if you started rejecting him most of the time sexually, he'd feel at first disappointed and hurt, and in time, unwanted, and unloved. And he would no longer feel excited to look after you and care for you, he'd feel used. Because he does NOT want to buy sex (or worse, buy not-sex). He wants to share what he has with you because he believes you two are in love.
Does he almost expect sex? Yes, I'm sure he does, but he's likely assuming its not you paying him back for the house. He assumes you desire him especially when he's done something romantic. He likely desires you all the time, and would be hurt to feel you didn't desire him.
If by 'arranging something' you mean something romantic or whatever, or with a gift, to men 'romance' is sort of foreplay. It's not a tradeoff for sex, its meant as a mood and sex enhancer. It's like you putting on lingerie. You don't put on lingerie because you think he'd never have sex otherwise, you do it with excitement and anticipation of better sex, and to show him you want him.
Similarly when he 'arranges something' he is hoping to please you and improve your mood and enhance the sex that will follow. Which is different from buying sex.3