Is there any nice way to tell your boyfriend you won't marry them unless they get a job?

I just don't want to feel like he's marrying me for the money/ a free ride. I don't want to come off mean but I also don't want to feel used any help would be great thanks.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Being married means partners in all things, if one is lazy and the other not then thats like oil and water it won't mix.50/50 responseabilities is key to success

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    • That's how I feel.

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    • Your welcome and thank you again :)

    • No problem

What Guys Said 6

  • Telling them to get a job is not mean. Tell him you have some reservations about moving the relationship forward while he is unemployed. You could also opt for a prenuptial agreement if this a concern of yours. You are not his mother, you are not obliged to take care of him.

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    • Thank you I think I will sit down and talk with him about it and discuss a prenuptial my main thing is I'd like him to show he wants to try at any job money is not what I'm concerned about I just would like someone with goals that cares thanks again.

  • This isn't mean at all... this is logically a good move.

    If he can't take u saying he needs to have a job before u guys are married, then he doesn't have the spine to be a reliable husband.

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  • tell him you couldn't marry someone who you don't think can offer stability , of course at your at if he hasn't figured this out by now he has some problems

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    • I think your right about that. I suppose I will just come out straight and tell him to work or move on in a nice way but firm. Thank you.

  • Lol dafuq. You dont tell him that, Just go on and he'd end it by his own from what you described him. He does seem like that ha

    But that's a blunder right there, You dont tell your bf/gf that you are not gonna, marry em? That means no sex from then on

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    • Don't tell him? I don't understand why sex was brought up its easy to come by that with breaking it off with the current bf by moving on so yeah that has never been an issue for me.

    • Then wtf you exactly waiting for? Break it off before he do lol. Guy sounds douche ha No offense

  • I'd wonder wounder what you're doing with a guy who's jobless anyway

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    • He use to work got laid off but gave up I felt bad for him he was really sweet but I think its time to let him go.

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    • I don't think the love part is in the job part though. The job part is logical and shallow. Love is, how you feel about him... how he makes you feel. I just don't think you get it from him anymore, job or not. The job is just a scapegoat for you, so you don't have to hurt his feelings about not being in love with him anymore. You need to tell him you're not in love, leave the thing about the job out

    • He'll just think you're a shallow bitch for it, if you do

  • Now you see how men feel.

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    • I have worked since I was 15 so yeah I do see where your coming from.

What Girls Said 4

  • Tell him the truth.
    Tell him you want kids (if you do), you want stability and you want to feel protected by a guy. If you're the one providing, you feel like the man in the relationship and it puts you in an uncomfortable position, makes you feel insecure and strained. First because your attraction towards him twindles and you are afraid it will destroy you later on. Second, he makes it seem like he doesn't care enough about you to want to be the provider in the relationship.
    Tell him that is why, if he doesn't find a job, you can't marry him.

    And if he doesn't care to look for one, chances are, he doesn't care about you. A man who is in love would be afraid of losing you.

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    • Thank you that's along the lines I was thinking I work as a graphics designer and take care of my parents as well I just would like a guy with goals not just a gamer.

  • Tell him that you wouldn't feel comfortable marrying him unless he's finachally stable. I honestly couldn't be with a guy who wasn't ambitious and didn't want to work to obtain his own things. If he's comfortable with you supporting him, I'd honestly think twice about even being with him. I see you say he got laid off, but someone that lets one thing make them basically not try, that isn't a good sign. I get where you're coming from though. It's not a double standard because you work, you just want a man who matches your ambition. That was also a problem I had with my ex, as I've been working since I was 16, and when he got laid off he was perfectly fine with staying at his grandma's house hanging out with his little brother all day which was such a turn off.

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  • tell him straight up. whats he doing being unemployed anyway? be careful dealing with a man that you have to tell to get a job

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    • He stays at his moms playing Xbox should I tell him over the phone to be more careful what do you suggest? Also thank you.

    • he sounds like a loser. I wonder why your even dating him

    • At first he was working but then fell into a depression cause he got laid off its like he gave up so I think I'm going to end it.

  • You just need to be straight with him. Relationships should be equal. I wouldn't marry a guy who didn't work. I wouldn't expect a guy to marry me either. I honestly believe both people in a relationship should work unless someone is staying home with the kids.

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