I just don't want to feel like he's marrying me for the money/ a free ride. I don't want to come off mean but I also don't want to feel used any help would be great thanks.
Is there any nice way to tell your boyfriend you won't marry them unless they get a job?
What Guys Said 6
Telling them to get a job is not mean. Tell him you have some reservations about moving the relationship forward while he is unemployed. You could also opt for a prenuptial agreement if this a concern of yours. You are not his mother, you are not obliged to take care of him.0
This isn't mean at all... this is logically a good move.
If he can't take u saying he needs to have a job before u guys are married, then he doesn't have the spine to be a reliable husband.0
tell him you couldn't marry someone who you don't think can offer stability , of course at your at if he hasn't figured this out by now he has some problems0
Now you see how men feel.0
What Girls Said 4
Tell him the truth.
Tell him you want kids (if you do), you want stability and you want to feel protected by a guy. If you're the one providing, you feel like the man in the relationship and it puts you in an uncomfortable position, makes you feel insecure and strained. First because your attraction towards him twindles and you are afraid it will destroy you later on. Second, he makes it seem like he doesn't care enough about you to want to be the provider in the relationship.
Tell him that is why, if he doesn't find a job, you can't marry him.
And if he doesn't care to look for one, chances are, he doesn't care about you. A man who is in love would be afraid of losing you.0
Tell him that you wouldn't feel comfortable marrying him unless he's finachally stable. I honestly couldn't be with a guy who wasn't ambitious and didn't want to work to obtain his own things. If he's comfortable with you supporting him, I'd honestly think twice about even being with him. I see you say he got laid off, but someone that lets one thing make them basically not try, that isn't a good sign. I get where you're coming from though. It's not a double standard because you work, you just want a man who matches your ambition. That was also a problem I had with my ex, as I've been working since I was 16, and when he got laid off he was perfectly fine with staying at his grandma's house hanging out with his little brother all day which was such a turn off.0
You just need to be straight with him. Relationships should be equal. I wouldn't marry a guy who didn't work. I wouldn't expect a guy to marry me either. I honestly believe both people in a relationship should work unless someone is staying home with the kids.0
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