Why are people in such a rush to get married?

"I want to hurry up and spend the rest of my life with you."

How can you hurry up and spend the rest of your life with someone? You were already sharing in their life to begin with. You, literally, have the REST of your life left to make the decision to spend the rest of your life with someone.

I can never understand why people are in such a rush to get married, then they get married really young, find out they did something really fucking stupid, and then get a divorce.


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What Girls Said 6

  • Because people see all their friends getting married and also the stupid media which makes us feel like we need to rush marriage. Back in the day, Divorce wasn't even talked about or really didn't even exist. Our generaton is different. Times change, people change, thats all I can really say.

  • I have been wondering too. Had a friend who married her then husband and 1 year later they separated, 3 years later divorce took effect. The girl pressurised him to get married to fulfil ner dream to be a bride. Sound not right to me. Only settle down when financial, and emotional ready thats how I feel. Otherwise both parties can still live together wo marriage

  • Well I really wanna get married because it means a lot to me to make that commitment and also i'll be able to live with my bf then after we become husband and wife and we'll be able to sleep together and things.

  • people think it means ownership

  • I don't know but all the boys r in a rich to marry me boo boo. It is cuz me so fine boo boo

  • I think a lot of people think of marriage as another hurdle to jump in life.
    Finish school - check
    Get a great job - check
    Find a great place - check
    Meet that special someone - check
    Get married - check
    Have kids - check

    So people, when they've reached a certain age without having "jumped that hurdle", they feel incomplete and left behind. "Everyone else is already there... blah blah."
    My mother likes to pull that crap with me... telling me about things she sees on Facebook about her friends' children or my old friends and how they're married, or how they just had their first child, etc.

    I don't know if I'll ever get married.
    If the man I love asks, I can't see myself saying no... but I wouldn't be disappointed if he never asked either.
    I'd be happy to just find that man and spend my life with him... ring or no ring.

    • Haha Sparrow, does she ever try and hook you up with someone like my family and relatives do? Arranged marriages are still a thing in some parts of Cambodia XD so it slightly trickles down in my family. Slightly XD

    • She gave up trying to hook me up, but she used to.
      She wants me to find a very Christian man too though and I'm just like "A Christian man is probably going to want a Christian woman, Mom, not me."
      So it's a constant battle with her basically just praying for me to change and then find someone, haha!

What Guys Said 4

  • There are all sorts of contributing factors I think. The biggest one in my opinion is societal validation. In our culture, its considered weird to not have been married by a certain point in your life. I was talking about this once before, and this guy goes, "if you're in the business world, its hugely important to be married. It shows others that you're stable, and you're not gay." I don't even know where to begin with that. The gay thing, that's obviously ignorant. But the stability aspect is what blows my mind. I know so many married people that are so fucking unstable. I mean, the marriage itself, maybe it works out, maybe it doesn't. Whatever. But I've been with my girl seven years, and instead of people saying "Wow, you have so much stability in your life!", it's like " what? Why aren't you married?" My girlfriend gets it even worse from other girls. "Giiiiirrrrllllll, you need to tell that man to put a ring on it, or you are OUT!" And she's just like "um... OK." Meanwhile, countless people have met, dated, gotten engaged, married, had a kid or two, and divorced, all in that same 7 years time. I'm not trying to trash those people, shit happens, but let's not act like marriage is some unbreakable bond. Your spouse can get sick of you and leave, just like in a non-married relationship, only its way more of a hassle and costs a lot more money. Plus you get (unfairly) stamped as "divorced", which some people look at like a strike against you.

    Also, women are often very eager to get married, they're socialized that way. A girl's wedding day is so hyped up from the time she's a child. Most girls can't wait to be the beautiful bride. I look at high school proms as a junior varsity wedding. Its more about the girl: all her family gets involved with finding her a dress, and doing her hair and makeup, etc. The guy shows up too, but he's like the groom... everyone is generally happy for him, his mom tells him he looks handsome, but overall, no one gives a shit. But...

    • ... the girl is the star of the show, hands down. The wedding is like the prom on steroids, because there's just ONE girl that day. And I don't think I'm being too presumptuous when I say many girls pressure guys into marriage. There's definitely an expectation there in a lot of cases. Guys fight tooth and nail to get laid, and once they find steady ass, they can be talked into signing their lives away, haha. I probably sound anti-marriage, but I'm not. I just think that people getting married so quickly is crazy. I think most people get married after dating less than five years. So basically you have to bank on not getting sick of the other person over the course of 30, 40,50 years after a 5 year or less trial period. The odds are definitely not in your favor. But everyone needs to keep up with the Jonses, especially in the era of Facebook where everyone makes a shrine to themselves and selectively post pictures to show everyone else how much more awesome their life is than yours.

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    • I'd have given you MH for all your good insight and points but, unfortunately this question is already spoken for XD

    • Hulk smash! All good, bro. I'm in this for the love of the game, not the stats.

  • With men, I think the natural habit is pretty much "rush" in all aspects.

    With women, I notice it is peer pressure because all their friends are doing it.

  • Movies and old "romantic" tales of people getting married right on the spot. Also what smokahontas said.

  • tax breaks , less rent , rash decisions, kids , etc.
    To name a few.

    Everyone is so sure and everything "felt so right"
    then hearts get broken ,
    dreams get shattered
    A husk remains wandering through the night.
    So is life.